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Look. See Squid. See Squid Run.Aug 07 '00 (Updated Jan 19 '01) Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Squid, (skwid) 1. A tentacled sea-dwelling creature of the deep. 2. An underdressed, undertrained danger to self and others on two wheels. See also: poseur, idiot. Squid, (skwid) 1. A tentacled sea-dwelling creature of the deep. 2. An underdressed, undertrained danger to self and others on two wheels. See also: poseur, idiot. BrrrrreeeeeeEEEEEEEEEP...brrrrrreeeeeEEEEEEEEEP...(grind, curse)...brrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaooooowwwwwww... Ahh, the "mating call of the squid." Nothing rings in the warm, summer riding season like the sound of a crotch-rocket...er, pardon...sportbike rider redlining the motor in every gear. At the racetrack? Nawww, Main Street is just fine. Is there anyone who lives in a town, especially a college-town, who hasn't heard this? The snow melts from the roads, the temperature warms up and the squids pull their brightly-colored bikes out of storage. Lo and behold, the city streets are a sudden arena for these guys to perform their antics and try to attract members of the opposite sex. If you've heard the "mating call," you've certainly seen the American Squid in full plumage: Bright plastic sportbike, tanktop or tee-shirt, shorts, sandals or flip-flops, and safety gear consisting of a pair of shades. If you notice the absence of a helmet, gloves, jacket, pants with legs and/or shoes that cover the toes, you have spotted the not-so-elusive Squid. Once spotted, the squid is the source of many amusing and thrilling behavioral quirks. Watch how they stand their motorcycles on the rear wheel and accelerate. Marvel at their impromptu rear-wheelies or "stoppies." See them rocket through traffic at supralegal speeds -- oo, the lightning-quick lane changes -- and all without a shred of fear or safety equipment as they defy the laws of physics and logic. When not actively performing, the squid can be observed riding in one direction while looking in another...generally looking toward a member of the female of the species while riding toward the rear bumper of a stationary Buick. The obligatory mirrored sunglasses look cool and mask this female-watching effectively -- their primary purpose. When startled out of their cool facade, the squid will squirt their bike away from the scene at max speed and noise, in search of a new place to perform; a place where their coolness remains intact. Oh, if I were only a squid, I could have had my choice of women when I was a younger man. Instead, I've travelled the road of sobriety for the past 15 years on my old Yamaha. I have "wussed out" in my full-face helmet, leather jacket, gloves, boots and -- perish the thought -- pants with legs. I have kept both of my tires on the ground and my head out of dark places while riding, and have suffered the stigma of not looking cool while doing so. As a result of my shameful lack of squidliness, I have kept my skin and my motorcycle intact for over a decade of riding. The wreck I did have was beyond my control and left me basically unhurt, thanks to my uncool safety gear. I created no blurb in the local paper that said, "the accident was determined to have been caused by excessive speed carried into the curve -- authorities say the rider would have survived had he been wearing a helmet." No, I have been intently observant while riding in town. I've watched my mirrors and traffic from every direction. I've learned to trust each and every driver on the road -- to do the most moronic thing possible to me. I have made surviving the traffic into my highest priority while riding in towns. I have tried my best to keep my speed within the speedlimits, or at least reasonably close to the speed of traffic. I have not performed an acrobatic show while on my motorcycle. As a result, I have also not run into any other motorists -- stationary or moving -- nor been run into by any other motorists. I have not looked cool while riding...but I have also not looked stupid. Or dead. But I still get a little wistful when I hear the "mating call of the squid" echoing from the nearest 30mph zone on a summer night, yes I do.  |
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