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Grandma's Rules of the RoadApr 25 '00 Write an essay on this topic.Because my grandmother was faint of heart, gender oppressed, and exceptionally cash poor, she never learned to drive. In fact, she could barely maintain a facade of composure as a passenger. So, it wasn't until I made several trips to Sun City, Arizona, to visit my in-laws that I had, revealed to me, a distinct "senior" methodology for driving. The following are the "official" Grandma's Rules of the Road: 1. If you can see over the wheel, the car is far too small. 2. Turn signals must blink continuously from the moment you start the car until it is safely parked across no less than 3 spaces. 3. While merging with traffic...STOP abruptly...and reevaluate your options. 4. Bumpers and hubcaps are THE original curb-feelers. 5. Stop lights/signs are optional. 6. Radio antennas are used exclusively for the creative display of handicrafts. 7. Brake and accelerator pedals are interchangeable. 8. If slow is good...SLOWER is better. 9. Yield signs make an assertive statement as a hood ornament. 10. After loss of vision...driving by SOUND is permissible and expected.  |
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