Confessions of a DMV Flunkie
Apr 16 '00 (Updated Jul 01 '00)
Driving is a wonderful thing. Below I have described the complications involved prior to engaging in the wonder that is driving. Take heed of my mistakes and if in the same position, please don't follow them!
************************
Getting a license…sounds simple enough. Yet there are always those who have some complications. Before the license even comes into perspective, the permit needs to be tackled. This test is a guaranteed pass; the questions include those along the lines of “What sign has eight sides and is bright red?”
On my first two DMV trips to take the permit test, I had been unable to, due to some “issues” of not having enough identification. I’ve drawn the conclusion that it is easier to purchase a weapon in my state than it is to get a tiny piece of paper stating I can drive somewhat responsibly while accompanied by a licensed driver.
I had learned my lesson by the third excursion to the DMV when I was able to take this little test. I came equipped with a birth certificate, Social Security number, passport, mail…not that I was over prepared or anything. I didn’t pass.
Two weeks later, I made my fourth trip to the DMV and took the test once again. Failed. Miserably. I missed by just one question. “If you see a person crossing the street with a white tipped cane, are they: blind, deaf, handicapped, or elderly?” Paranoia kicked in, causing me to ponder this question for five minutes. The obvious answer, blind, seemed too simple. The DMV was out to get me after all, so I chose deaf. It didn’t occur to me until much later, that deaf people don’t carry canes, white tipped or not.
On my fifth DMV trip I received the same test as the first time and actually passed. I was on my way to driving freedom!
Getting the permit had been the simple part. Four months later I was able to take the license test. The even let me pay to take it! Isn’t that generous? Amazingly, I passed the written. Then I had the privilege of taking the almighty DMV employee for a ride. We were in the car all of five seconds when he informed me not to talk/look/acknowledge him, and he would do the same to me. Isn’t it nice how the DMV employees are so cheerful? I really needed that confidence boost.
We were driving out of what I assumed was the parking lot when he said, You do know that this is the sidewalk, don’t you?” The sidewalk? That completely threw me. Strike one. ( And as a bonus, I’ve found out that this instructor now specifically tells people to watch the sidewalk – ouch! )
Mr. DMV then instructed me through several turns, all of which I took quite badly, and we ended up facing a one-way street. He didn’t tell me to turn, which confused me, since he was supposed to be giving the instructions. I asked him what I was supposed to do and true to his word, he ignored me. After attempting to just get some acknowledgement from him, I gave up and turned, going down another street – one point for the inexperienced driver.
On to the next task – the three-point turn. I would have done well if it hadn’t been for the fact that while pulling up to the curb, I crashed into it and made a terrible grating sound with the tire as Mr. DMV was more or less pulling his hair out next to me. Strike two.
A few more turns, and we arrived at the parking lot once again. I drove in (carefully avoiding the sidewalk). Then came the dreaded words: “Back the car into the space.” First of all, the space was half the size of the car (or at least, that’s my justification in not being able to get into it after seven or so tries.) Strike three. The man who had the power to give or deny me a license had to instruct me in backing the car up. Then he took out his checklist.
“Do you see down here where it says if you have one or more checks in critical areas it’s failure? Well, you have three.” Small nod of my head. “I would have let the first two go, but parking is a critical skill.” Groan. All I could do was sit there and think, just how is this skill so critical if there are all of those nice double spaces out there that you can just drive right through?
By the time of my seventh DMV visit, I had already been there more than some people have been in their entire lives. I nervously took the DMV instructor out of the parking lot, just barely missing that sidewalk.
I mastered the three-point turn and didn’t have any near fatalities on the road. Back in the DMV parking lot came the once dreaded words: “Back the car up.” I really did try, but I still haven’t quite mastered wheel mechanisms. With the (extremely kind) instructor’s guidance, I just managed to get the car into the space…I also “just managed” to get dangerously close to another parked car. Out came the checklist.
“You’ve passed.” I just looked at the instructor. After six months of torment and struggle, I had passed. Then came the final step in my quest to drive. The license photo, which is another story in itself.
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
bailey264
|
|
Member: Jillian
Location: NYC
Reviews written: 42
Trusted by: 61 members
|
|
|
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.