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No SUV for me!Aug 09 '00 Write an essay on this topic.As my friend Cleanshaven has stated there is no difference between a car and an SUV. It truly is a silly question of a car vs. an 'SUV'. I am writing today to describe how three cars that I have owned have doubled as off road vehicles. None of them had four wheel drive, or were billed as SUVs. I put the various cars I've owned through nine levels of hell. The cars in question are: 1980 Toyota Cressida 1986 Buick Century 1989 Hyundai Excel I'll start first with the Toyota. The Toyota was a hand-me down first from my mother, then from my brother. We go the car in 1980 when it was new. It had an inline six cylinder engine, and a little get up and go. I got the car in 1991 as my first car. I was overjoyed (hey, I had freedom). I treated the car right, but around 1994, a friend and I discovered (on accident) that the car also had rear wheel drive (a feature on all Cressidas). The first thought that entered into our heads was: doughnuts!! So almost every Friday or Saturday night, we would spend some time, and gas, tearing up the back of John's neighborhood in the car. It was great, spin around ten or so times, straighten the car out, take off across the field at twenty or so, hit the brakes and cut the wheel, slide side way for fifty or so feet, switch drivers, and do it again. As it rains often in Houston, there was usually plenty of mud to be found, and the Toyota handed severe muddy dirt roads with ease. I only got the car stuck once, and that was in mud up to my shins. Even then we were able to get the car out ourselves, and didn't need assistance from anyone. I remember driving through the Sam Houston National Forest late one night on a camping trip, and lost control of the car (my fault-not the car's) and took out two pine trees. It left only a small ding in the bumper. Alas, the Toyota only had so much time in my hands. As with all cars, and most SUVs, the automatic transmission wasn't made to spin constantly like it did when we made doughnuts, and it died. Then I got the Hyundai. I moved to Austin shortly after I got this car. The Hyundai, as far as I'm concerned was a piece. I was cheap, it ate an alternator every three months or so, and had no features what so ever. The engine was a small four cylinder, with virtually no power what so ever. I remember on Bull Creek road in Austin, where the BIG hill is (right before 2222 hits 620) I could start at the bottom at 75 or so, and crest the hill at 30 or less. The engine sucked that much. How I determined that the car would perform off road was by going to Reimer's ranch*, west of near Dripping Springs. The first time I went there I was appalled at the condition of the road (it was bad, though nothing compared to west Texas roads), but I drove on it anyway. The Hyundai not only went up the road, but did not bottom out, or make funny suspension noises. That was reassuring. The car put up with that road many, many times. But the ultimate test was to come later. Late one night when I was returning from work, and was thinking of a spot that would over look Austin, and give a great view, kind of a lover's lane type of thing. Also, I was just plain bored. So, as I was pulling off of Southwest Parkway, and about to pass Motorola, I noticed a crappy road leading up a hill. Throwing caution to the wind (and I don't have much to throw as it is) I turned left, jumped the curb, and headed up the hill. Looking back now, I might have gotten out of my car and inspected the road before proceeding. Anyway, the road went up a steep angle, and was the cruddiest road had seen at that time. After driving up this road (and hear nasty suspension groans) I crested the hill, and drove around for about an hour on crappy, bumpy semi-flat ground. I found my lover's lane overlook, but got lost in the process (hence driving around for an hour or so), so I never returned. The Hyundai later met it's demise after more off-road use, it had an oil pan leak (when I got it), and I forgot to put oil in it (oops), so after spending a month rebuilding the engine (myself-something I don't recommend); I sold the car, and moved on to my next and quite possibly best car I owned. My friends called it the blue whale; I called it the battlewagon. Call it what you will, but it was the last 'battle wagons'. You know the ones, your mom probably used to drive one-The huge station wagon that would seat about 15 people, and would do about 130 or so, got exactly 2 miles to the gallon…….and you could beat a Corvette in a drag race with it. It was a 1986 Buick Century, and I loved it. I got it not long before I moved to west Texas. Ahh….West Texas, home of the cruddiest roads I've ever seen. The wagon was huge (of course), could go fast (I drove from Del Rio, Texas to Alpine, Tx in 2 hours, not bad when you consider that one way it is a 190 mile drive), and could haul a lot of stuff (I moved out here in one trip, no U-Haul needed). Not long after I moved here, some friend invited me to go with them to some land that they owned in the middle of nowhere. She termed the road as being 'a little rough'. Actually it was mostly large rocks, and deep ruts. At one point, we stopped the car so that we could take a picture of it tilted sideways at a 40 degree angle. The wagon repeated this trip many times. The wagon lasted a long time; I drove it into some of the worst roads that Big Bend National Park has to offer, sometimes at high speeds. It always took the abuse, smiled, and asked for more. I think the reason that the wagon was able to deal with the terrible terrain was: a. A nice big V-6 b. Unusually high ground clearance-enough that I could crawl under the car comfortably with no jack needed. So after two years, the wagon too, like the other cars, died. It died from minor transmission problems, and mainly the ignition wiring was gone. I really don't know what happened to it. All I know is that I left it in front of the house I used to live in because I couldn't get it started. It was towed, I don't know where. I felt kinda bad about it though; the wagon was such a faithful car. I guess it was it's time though, it had over three hundred thousand miles on it when it died. So, those are my cars the really were SUVs. I ask you, constant reader, why would I want to spend thousands on a trumped up high clearance car, when I've had three that at the most cost $1300. I supposed when I get a real job, I'll buy a new car, hell, maybe I'll buy an Outback, but I won't get an Explorer, Suburban, or anything else like that….just simply a waste of money and gas mileage. If you look at what I've put my cars through, the only suitable SUV for me is a Hummer. *A note to all the rock climbers out there: Reimer's ranch is the best climbing in central Texas.  |
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