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Identify Yourself First As Well As You Can, Then Search For HelpJun 25 '00 Write an essay on this topic.One of the most trying things to do when you know that something is not right in your life is to try to figure out what is wrong. There are so many acronymns now for what people can have in their lives such as codependency, love addiction, various kinds of abuse, personality disorders, relationship problems and so forth, that if you look only at the acronymn part you won't know what exactly to buy. So, first you identify what the problem is. Write a list down on paper as best as you can as to what you feel is wrong. Your list may appear in this format: 1. My spouse treats me like dirt and doesn't care about what I feel. 2. I do not feel loved. 3. I feel hurt and no one cares. 4. My spouse cares about the dog more than me, or at least he acts like that. 5. I need someone to love me. 6. I am eating because I have a need not being met and I am gaining weight. 7. I am being belittled to where I don't know who I am. 8. I don't want my spouse to be angry at me. Okay, now you take a look at these things and summarize them. 1. I am hurting because my spouse does not appear to love me. (Relationship / Marriage problem) 2. I am fearful of the actions of others and am confused. (Self - Identity problem) 3. I am eating to meet a need . (Eating disorder) Now identify what you feel is the major problem. It's up to you which one is the main problem. There could be two of them that are on top out of a list of fifty. In that case choose the top two, otherwise choose the one thing that is the main one that you feel the other ones are related to. Now, take a look at your background and make another choice. You need to choose what kind of author will be the writer of the book you will use. There are the following kinds 1. Christian or Non-Christian. 2. Personal experience or Professional advisor. Now you will seek what you wish. If you want to read about someone who went through this situation, then seek a personal experience book and if you are Christian, make sure there are references to God and scripture within that book. Within the past couple of years, I have had to deal with the serious illness of my mother and her untimely death. After speaking to my father about this recently, both he and I realized that we had sought after help for my mother when she was depressed in the wrong ways. Instead of looking at the spiritual and Christian means to counseling, we had gone to the professional/non-Christian perspective. That type of self-help did not relate to my mother and did not help her in the end. It was only close to the end that we realized that it was the spiritual connection that really prepared her to deal with what was going on in her life. So, I truly believe that this is very important in making a decision to choose self help books or counseling. Also, even though the Internet is a great medium for finding books, I would suggest that you look at the books in person and flip through them before purchasing. There is only so much that can be said within the confines of this medium. Only reading the table of contents in perspective and give you the means to see whether or not this author has the ability touch a part of your life that may need help. I have literally hundreds of books about healing, relationships, spirituality, and other disorders in my library that I have acquired through various sources. I have found that through the years that the ones that have helped me the most were the ones which I chosen based on my own spiritual beliefs and needs. I've learned that bad advice is more damaging to a person than no advice at all. So, I truly pray that you are very wise in your choice of finding the most appropriate self-help book for your individual need.  |
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