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Self-Help Books

Feb 15 '00



One visit to my home would reveal that my book shelves are lined with "self-help books". Years from now, my descendants will be able to reconstruct the different periods of my life based on the books on these shelves. Too many to mention (seriously over 100 books at last count), I will try to summarize the types of self-help books I own.

There were my years of low self-esteem when I purchased books like "I Don't Know Where I'm Going, But I Sure Ain't Lost" and "I Ain't Much, Baby -- But I'm All I've Got". These books, written by a Ph.D. were supposed to teach me to make the right choices in order to help me accept myself and enjoy happiness and peace of mind. They didn't help.

Then came the period of destructive relationships when I read "Women Who Love Too Much" and "The Wendy Dilemma" along with "Why men Don't Get Enough Sex and Women Don't Get Enough Love" and "If It's Love You Want, Why Settle for Just Sex". These books, written by professionals in the field of psychology usually just made me feel embarrassed about my choices of men and did nothing to make me a stronger person.

Not understanding men at all after all those years, I started reading the entire John Gray collection of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books. It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't agree with anything these "experts" said --- so those books were neatly arranged on the shelves right beside all of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's books. I keep them as a reminder of how NOT to deal with problems in my personal life.

Twenty years and over a thousand dollars later, I realized that I don't really agree with most of the psychologists and psychiatrists who pen these self-help books. I personally have found more help and guidance from books written by lay people who have told their stories of struggle and survival. Patty Duke's books "A Brilliant Madness" and "Call Me Anna" are superb books, written from the heart with meaningful insight. Iyanla Vanzant's books like "In the Meantime" and "Faith in the Valley" are wonderful tools to help build self-esteem and strong spirituality.

If I have a problem, I want to read about how a person lived through a similar situation, crisis or tragedy. I want to read their personal account of survival. Psychologists and psychiatrists may have the credentials to give advice, but I am much more inclined to trust someone who can speak from experience. Give me a personal story over a professional's advice any day. I want to hear from the people who can honestly say "Been there ... Done that".








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Epinions.com ID:
b_lawhorn
Member: Barbara Lawhorn
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio
Reviews written: 112
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