At The Mercy Of The Cunning Creature
Written: Jul 02 '00 (Updated Jul 03 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: It is written in simple language and is chock-a-block with suggestions, projects and information.
Cons: The creature has outsmarted you yet again.
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| drmomentum's Full Review: |
SUCKER
I am a true sucker. Not just one of those people who falls for three card monte on the street. At least those people learn after being bamboozled once or twice. I am a sucker because I am easily manipulated, like a puppet.
Not to toot my own horn, but when it comes to manipulation, I'm a clever enough guy. And that is exactly the problem. Like Dr. Frankenstein in my own drmomentum laboratory, I have created a creature. I have given this creature not only my own DNA, but the DNA of a person who is capable of pulling my strings. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, in the words of Ren Hoek of Ren and Stimpy, "It is not I who am crazy. It is I who am MAD!"
IT LIVES
This creature has free run of the house. It is watching me. I can see calculation behind its eyes. It is storing information about me for later use. And it does put this information to use. Or I should say, she does. She is my 5 year old daughter.
Let me give you an example. My daughter wants a pumpkin patch. She wants it because she knows that the Great Pumpkin won't come unless we have one. Well,at least I think that is why. I can never tell whether she is pulling my leg -- blast it! She asked me "Daddy, can we grow our own pumpkins?" I have long learned that my creature (I mean, my daughter):
A) Thinks faster than I do
B) Usually comes prepared to a discussion
C) Is looking to corner me with my own logic
My only defense is to say "Maybe" and quickly leave the room, buying myself precious time to think.
Having gotten the noncommittal answer, and in the solitude of my exit, her brain began its Machiavellian computations.
RECONNAISSANCE
A week or so later, I had a conversation with my wife.
Wife: "What would you like for Fathers day."
Me: "Oh, nothing really." (This is the only workable answer that leaps to mind. What am I supposed to say, a slant-back Hummer? A 3 month vacation?)
Wife: "Don't make this difficult for me."
Me: "Okay. Look, all I really want... Hey, what was that noise?"
Wife: "What noise?"
Me: "I thought I heard a giggle. Never mind. Uh, like I was saying, all I really want to do is spend some time with the kids. I want something we can do together." (Alright, it turned out there was something realistic, if vague, that I wanted.)
I'm sure she was listening, that imp!
ATTACK
On Father's day I was awakened early because I had to open my present. What was it? It was Kid's Pumpkin Projects: Planting & Harvest Fun by Deanna F. Cook.
I still haven't worked out my wife's part in this plot. I think this little creature is pulling her strings, too. But it was checkmate. A perfectly concocted plan, beautiful in its execution. And I walked right into it.
It's just a pumpkin patch for heaven's sake, you're thinking. Well, think again. This book isn't just about pumpkin patches. It's all about crafts, activities, facts and gardening tips that are all pumpkin-related.
At first I thought my relatively brown thumb (a.k.a the thumb of death) would save me from these pumpkin crafts. After all, if the plants don't make it (if they produce no pumpkins) there can be no pumpkin projects, right? I can almost hear the creature laughing at the thought. Many of the projects are only pumpkin-related; they do not require the actual fruit in question.
CONTENTS
This 97 page trade paperback is organized in four sections, one for each season. Each section has activities appropriate for that season.
Spring discusses planning out a pumpkin bed, selecting seeds, different varieties of pumpkins, squashes and gourds, and planting.
Summer discusses fertilizing the pumpkins, managing the vines, thinning the plants, etc.
Fall describes harvesting the pumpkins, preparing food from them, carving them, etc.
Winter deals with storing the pumpkins all season long, winter foods with pumpkin, and preparing the pumpkin bed for next spring.
Interspersed throughout the book are many little projects, suggestions and facts. How to make a cube-shaped pumpkin (I kid you not). How to Keep a pumpkin journal, and record your experiences. How Native Americans grew pumpkins together with corn and beans and why they did that. How to make a pumpkin seed flip book. Various pumpkin recipes. This is a book that, for its length, is packed full of little ideas that go beyond the pumpkin patch.
Each page covers one or two subjects or ideas. The writing is both concise and completely non-technical. I can read the book aloud, and if the creature is within earshot, she will understand every word and will compel me to go do that activity right now. Like making a pumpkin decorative garland (kind of like paper doll pumpkins).
It is printed in green ink on white paper, with cartoonish line art illustrations. Although the illustrations are quite pleasant, at under $9 for this book, the author's and publisher's intention is obviously to get this information to you rather than to make a mint off a flashy presentation which would otherwise have little value. We're looking at a high signal to noise ratio here.
The insidious nature of my creature's manipulation is so powerful that not only does she hold complete sway over my actions, she also has the power to make me like it. We now have a pumpkin patch with around 30 plants in a fairly small area (the plants have not yet been thinned). We check on them every day, and water them. We are fascinated by them.
Will this experience teach my children something? Is it building their self esteem? Will they learn a little bit about being responsible? Will they experience the value of slow, steady progress in a world of fast paced rushing around? Yeah, yeah, yeah - sure; all of those things are true. But it's really just plain fun.
Could I manage a pumpkin patch without this book? Yep, but at under $9 this book is a bargain. It is chock full of ideas that get my daughter excited. Growing pumpkins takes some time, and the activities in is book keep her focused on what were doing while giving us side-projects to have fun with. I can tell that the pumpkin patch will be a yearly thing. Likewise, some of these activities will be yearly keepers.
I am obviously the thrall of my creation. Pity me. But not too much. The pumpkin pie will make up for it.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
drmomentum
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Member: JP Burke
Location: SouthCoast area, Massachusetts
Reviews written: 55
Trusted by: 88 members
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