Please Pass the Parrot Pate
Written: Jan 25 '00 (Updated Jan 25 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: The uninstall application works well.
Cons: I wasted time, precious time, on this program.
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| pogomom's Full Review: Bonzi Buddy |
Pondering Peedy's Passing
With apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson:
I had a little parrot that lived within my screen,
And what can be the use of him is more than I have seen,
He taunts me every moment,
He’s a Henny Youngman clone,
I think I was so much happier when I was all alone.
One morning very early, before the sun had dawned,
I woke from sleep upon my chair to Peedy’s toonish yawn,
Now, this crazy little avatar, like an errant love that lingers,
Cracked one bad joke too many and was deleted by these fingers.
I confess. I killed Peedy the Parrot. A premeditated action but in no way a crime, I feel no remorse. Blowing away that menace to cyber-society was an act of pure revenge. Ridding my domain of the insidious little bugger gave a completely new definition to the word ‘uninstall.’ I feel free for the first time since becoming victim to that molting demon masquerading as a benign birdie-buddy.
Peedy was the brainchild of the not so poor but simple software designers at Bonzi.com. His promises of being a friend and traveling companion for me as I surfed the Internet Superhighway fell short. This sinister little hitchhiker insinuated himself into my browser in a takeover reminiscent of Jesse Ventura’s dealings with the Independent Party in Minnesota.
The mad scientists who created Peedy, the BonziBUDDY, neglected to consider the fact that offering a free though limited trial version of this irritating add-on would in no way enhance their bottom-line. At least my wallet remained intact even with the constant hard sell and kidnapping efforts of this artificially intelligent birdbrain. “Kidnapping?” you ponder? Oh yes, dear innocent reader, the programming behind Peedy’s miniscule form is set to whisk you away to the apropos Bonzi.com web site the moment you test any of his features. Not a one-time reaction, each click on his menu presents the user with not only the desired effect but a full blown sales pitch along with visual effects and a web page to close the deal.
The desire to download any other software from the Bonzi Software web site diminished greatly by my experience with Peedy. I imagine Bonzi’s connection accelerator, Internet Boost ’99; secure web utility, Internet Alert ’99; and Voice E-Mail 4.0 for Windows perform as promised. In fact, Peedy performs precisely as advertised which is the problem.
Bonzi touts Peedy as an interactive friend and traveling companion on the Internet. If my friend talked that much in that tone of voice, I doubt if we would travel anywhere together, much less surf the net in tandem. Should Peedy truly be an example of the future of the Internet, the prospects look bleak.
Peedy’s artificial intelligence affords him the opportunity to learn your likes and dislikes. Armed with this knowledge, Peedy searches the web (and gobbles up memory) and reports back with news of web sites that meet your interests. The bird also makes periodic newscasts of breaking news if you choose to enable that option. Breaking news, in the case of Peedy the perplexing Parrot, consisted of announcements of new web sites and repeated reports of upgrades available for his own software. In addition, I feel that Peedy popped up with his revelations at inopportune times. I have enough trouble retaining my train of thought without the parrot from hell plopping down and singing, “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true…”
I found the BonziBUDDY concept appealing until spending time with Peedy. The distracting caricature might have been cause for minor applause had the darned thing not been programmed to sing, tell corny jokes and promote itself in a shameless display of crass commercialism. Even Rocky, the adorable doggy critter residing in my Office Suite, never once had the audacity to pimp for Microsoft.
The premise of a helpful Internet assistant tracking personal interests, reading web page text, serving as an animated appointment book and task scheduler, announcing news, offering tips and tricks, warning of impending virus activity and containing a comprehensive search feature is attractive. The parrot package also struck me as unique. On the down side, the program failed to enhance my Internet experience. The character exasperated me to the point that I could hardly wait to get it off my hard drive. What sounded like an entertaining and beneficial aid in surfing the web ended up using too much of my system resources and causing conflicts with other resident programs.
Bonzi Software presently offers the full version of the BonziBUDDY free on their web site. I would venture a guess that the angry feedback from those trying the previous limited no-cost version gave Peedy’s developers pause for thought. I considered downloading the full version for purposes of testing the program for this review. Unfortunately, the auto-download page froze my browser on two separate attempts so any interested parties must fend for themselves.
Minimum System Requirements:
16 MB of RAM
11 MB of Free Hard Disk Space
Sound Card (no specs listed)
Windows Operating Systems 95/98/NT 4.0
Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.02 or above (Not Netscape)
The judges' ruling of justifiable homicide in the death of Peedy made a free woman of me. Your attendance is requested at a service for the deceased this coming Friday. In lieu of flowers, please send updated components to the charity of my choice.
Recommended:
No
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pogomom
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About Me:
Web/puter person who, disguised as mild-mannered Pogomom, offers unsolicited opinions to all she encounters.
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