An Adoptee's Perspective
Mar 15 '01
The Bottom Line As an adoptee I can say I'm so glad that two people took a chance on me.
I was adopted when I was a baby. I had the best parents that anyone could wish for. My parents came from rural Georgia. They came from a humble background. They suffered through two miscarriages before deciding to adopt.
I used to love hearing the story about how they saw me in my crib and literally "fell in love." Supposedly, my father leaned down and I reached up and smiled. I guess it was love at first smile.
My father worked full time as a dock worker and my mother was a home maker. She decided since it took so much for them to be given the right to be called my parents that they didn't want to mess it up. She felt that it was more important to stay home and than to have a two income household. Her reasoning was, while it was clear that we'd have more money and material possessions if she worked, what was most important was having a happy, content and loved child. I agree with her but considering what a great job she did, I sometimes wonder would it have been THAT bad had she worked.
They were very loving, very encouraging and very honest with me. I was an odd child because I knew things that other kids didn't know. My mother told me about discrimination, sex, drugs and all of the challenges I would face as I grew up. I admire her for having the courage and the faith in me to tell me the truth and trust me to make the right decisions. Her philosophy was if you aren't told the truth by the people who love and want the best for you, then people who might want to take advantage and use you will tell you their version of the truth. She just wanted to make sure I didn't get into trouble and thanks to her, I didn't. I would say their only fault was possibly being too protective of me and keeping a bit too sheltered. However, I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood.
My parents told me that I was adopted when I was old enough to understand what adoption meant (I was probably 6 or 7 years old.) I remember that moment. I was understandably upset when they told me. But they let me have my cry and then they talked to me about it. My parents told me that they wanted to tell me in a loving environment rather than risk that a vindictive relative would tell me to hurt me. Ironically (probably foreseeably for my parents) a vindictive relative did try that. He was shocked when I told him that I already knew.
Unfortunately, my parents passed away a few years ago. My mother, who suffered for high blood pressure for as long as I can remember, had a stroke. After she died, my father passed away five weeks later. The doctor said he suffered a mild heart attack; however, I believe he simply couldn't live without my mother. It's a beautiful story, in a bittersweet way. Of course, I miss them. However, they've left me with a legacy of love and caring that I want to pass on to my own children when I have them.
When I tell people that I'm adopted they usually ask if I know my "real" parents. I always correct them and tell them that two people who sacrificed so much to raise me are my "real" parents. I then add that I don't know my biological parents. Of course, they ask me if I want to know them. I admit that part of me would like to find my birth mother one day. However, I had such a great upbringing that I feel that I haven't missed anything. When I think about some of the things my friends have had to endure with their "real" parents versus the pretty much "Ozzie and Harriet" upbringing that I had, I know I couldn't want for more.
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Epinions.com ID:
rkwalton
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Location: Seoul, South Korea/San Francisco, CA
Reviews written: 18
Trusted by: 5 members
About Me:
Going back to school after 5 years away!!!
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