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Kickin The Clown To The Curb WIth Mustard!Mar 15 '01 (Updated Jun 29 '02) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Well, Marvien relaxs with his fanatic fans to discuss the ever popular debate over pretend weapons.
So what would you do if someone came up to you with a loaded box of Frosted Flakes? Would you give in and let them poor cold milk all over you? Or would you pull out the ole tuna in a bag and give them a what for. Well, if you're just as confused as me just keep them eyes on Marvien's dedication to pretend weapons. The first question to consider is whether pretend weapons are suitable in society today. Do pretend weapons cause violence or are they simply an outlet for frustration? If they are ok, what are some good weapons of choice? Well, to test these questions I've decided to wonder out in the streets packed with some of my favorite imaginary weapons. Scene: Marvien walks into the street with a duffle bag Characters: Marvien (played by me) and some other people Setting: Street with adults and children I jump into the street to find kids and adults staring at me in amazement. Sure I'm a hairy guy, but there is no reason to stare. I decided the best way to answer my questions was to hand out some of my pretend weapons and watch for results. I would give half the town pretend weapons and the other half none. Marvien sets up a pretend weapon stand So the first few children are handed peanut cans filled with toothspaste and a few pieces of tape. Some of the others I gave candles, stickers, bubble wrap, and even a few feathers. Some of the kids asked for swords and guns, but all I had was junk. Pretend the toothpaste is some kind explosive powder and mold the tape into mighty bows. Now go and play I told them. Now to sit back and watch the answers come pouring in. I watched the children for a few years. I examined each side very closely. After the fourth year, I noticed the side that got the pretend weapons was planning to attack the other side in an effort to control the whole neighborhood. The kids had moved on to real weapons in fact. They had 9mm guns hidden in their pockets, and swords tied to their backs. A few even had sticks of dynamite falling out of their book bags. The children had become violent gangsters looking for nothing but trouble. Ok, good ole Marvien is just joking. I noticed no difference in either side. In fact, the kids that I didn't give anything to just found other crap to play with. The point I'm trying to make is that no one can truly know if pretend weapons will have an effect on your future plans. Just because you have a pretend gun as a child does not mean you'll be packing as an adult, but maybe you will. So as always I say leave the choice up to the parents, and if you are an adult looking to play with pretend weapons I say go for it. I think we'd all be better off if we just played with pretend weapons or is that why they are real weapons. Daggum it. Marvien didn't figure anything out. But if you are planning on letting your children play with pretend weapons be creative in your decision. At least that will teach them to become creative as adults. You can borrow some of mine if you like. Toilet paper wrapped in chewing gum, old toenails, dentures, frog eyeballs, candy wrappers in the shape of a shield, bottle of rotten milk with the big chunks, gloves, rubber chicken, playdoe, and maybe even a few boxes of deadly Frosted Flakes. Save the planet from pretend weapons, Marvien with an "E"  |
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