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Re: OY!+.+.+.+ (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
I am still trying to recruit models for my instructional video. As for the libretto, I found that sweetcece's bathtub series of February 16th ("How to Use a Baby Bathtub," "What Should You Know About Baby Bathtubs," "How to Choose Baby Bathtubs," "What Are Baby Bathtubs?") works remarkably well.
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Apr 04 '01
8:31 am PDT
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Re: If+Only+I+Knew+Where+to+Find+a+Miner (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Miners are hard to find, but fortunately when you've found them, easy to please. They also wear those helpful head lamps, which illuminate so many poorly lit crevices.
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Apr 04 '01
8:17 am PDT
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OY! . . . (Reply to this comment)
by ed_grover
I've been doing 3 and 5 for years and years and thought it was two other numbers. Maybe I just got so old I forgot what I was doing.
I think I need pictures and the libretto to go with them. Thanks for illuminating my perversions.
Ed
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Apr 03 '01
7:57 am PDT
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If Only I Knew Where to Find a Miner (Reply to this comment)
by Hard_To_Please
Lobstergirl-
I plan to perfect at least two of these techniques this weekend. Yes, I read your full disclaimer, but it didn't discourage me in the least. I hereby release you from all liability!...Mark
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Apr 02 '01
5:21 pm PDT
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Re: You+ought+to+be+ashamed+of+yourself! (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
No one is more ashamed than me. EVER. I am going to use your disclaimer in my forthcoming Diaper Genie review.
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Mar 30 '01
12:11 pm PST
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You ought to be ashamed of yourself! (Reply to this comment)
by hadassahchana
If you would learn to place disclaimers at the beginning of each review, you wouldn't have these problems:
"Warning: this piece may offend Christians, ferret fans , eleven year olds and mouth breathers".
Feel free to use this in the future- just remember to properly credit me.
Cindy
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Mar 28 '01
6:39 pm PST
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Re: Please+picture+this.+..+ (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
How do you think I felt? I was writing it at 800%.
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Mar 28 '01
3:21 pm PST
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Re: The+Calista+Knockwurst (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
ZZ--it's one of the words that must be included in every epinion. Once again, I refer you to the Usage Agreement.
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Mar 28 '01
3:20 pm PST
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Re: Nice+summary (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Sunndogg, I am too busy doing The Whole Enchilada to respond fully to your comment.
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Mar 28 '01
3:18 pm PST
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Re: I'm+afraid+I+have+to+agree+with+some+of+your+critics (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
I'd say I've been thoroughly admonished, but I don't want to hurt your granny's feelings. 4 of the 5 positions came from her.
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Mar 28 '01
3:16 pm PST
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Please picture this. .. (Reply to this comment)
by jckatz
I am at my office using a web browser called Opera (read my review). I am the web page at 200% orginal size because I am bored and labeling envolopes so I don't have to think to read the letters are about 2 inch big each.
And I am reading your possitions when my boss walks past.
OHHH MY GAWD!
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Mar 28 '01
1:34 pm PST
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The Calista Knockwurst (Reply to this comment)
by zzJulia
You had to know how much I'd like that one. It's amazing how the word "tortfeasor" can tickle one.
-Juls
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Mar 28 '01
11:24 am PST
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Nice summary (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
Although I'm surprised and a bit disappointed that you didn't include The Broken Taco, which has long been a favorite affection-showing technique.
Then again, perhaps some things really are best left unsaid.
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Mar 27 '01
8:10 am PST
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I'm afraid I have to agree with some of your critics (Reply to this comment)
by Sloucho
Lobstergirl, as you know there are many 11 year olds on this site. And yet your title promises "a few innovative ideas." As I'm sure you are very well aware, most kids have done the foursome + cavity search to death by the time they're nine. And as for the inclusion of _Hungarian Rhapsody_ during sex--you leave me wondering whether I'm suppose to be reverting to kindergarten.
You have a certain reputation to live up to. We come to you expecting to be challenged, to have our horizons expanded. And what do we get but a bunch of cliched sexual positions that couldn't lift my love pump (quotation for Fiona) if I took a Viagra after each sentence of your review. Get some decent material before you go posting tired stuff like this. Sheesh!
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Mar 26 '01
9:28 pm PST
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Re: You+are+clearly+one-of-a-kind.... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Nick, I always appreciate your comments. And I in no way meant to suggest that any ferrets were harmed in the making of The Joy of Sex.
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Mar 26 '01
2:30 pm PST
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Re: What+no+mule? (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Yes, I have heard that position has been popular amongst Californians such as yourself since the Gold Rush days. I myself am not entirely familiar with it. Can you send me pictures?
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Mar 26 '01
7:29 am PST
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What no mule? (Reply to this comment)
by jazzbocrow
Since you expressed an interest in miners, how about the "The Mule Team" position? It involves 5 miners, a team of twenty mules, a mine shaft and some Borax soap. Since this is a family site and there are 11 year old writing here, I will leave the details to your sick imagination.
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Mar 25 '01
9:59 am PST
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You are clearly one-of-a-kind.... (Reply to this comment)
by NFP
...on this site, Lobstergirl.
As to your comparison of The Joy of Sex to The New Testament, not all that far-fetched. Just add a "begat" to each page of the former and you're well on your way to matching the latter.
I was particularly taken by the line about Joy of Sex: "Christ and Mary Magdalene copulating like a pair of overadventurous ferrets." My, my.
cheers,
nick
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Mar 23 '01
2:05 pm PST
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Re: waxy+loins? (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Pass the wax, baby! If I had a nickel for every time I've seen you coiled up and twisted back on yourself like a mobius strip...oh wait, that's #6.
Have you ever done The Rusty Nail or The Manchurian Candidate?
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Mar 23 '01
9:21 am PST
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Re: Re:+Re:+I+am... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Everyone is certainly entitled to his opinion, and as I told Fiona, I embrace angry and self-righteous criticism. (With the limber, steamy many-jointed embrace of an arthropod). I wish the Not Helpfuls were up on the front page like they used to be so I wouldn't have to hunt for them.
Thirdly, I fail to see how any 11-year old would be harmed by reading this. I didn't use any bad words or show any dirty pictures. (Email me and I'll send you the pix.) Maxim and Cosmo are infinitely more injurious to the formation of an 11-year old sexual psyche.
Fifth, even assuming 11-year olds are trolling the Kids and Family category, which I find dubious, even assuming they might be harmed in some small way by this, so what? Are we all required to sink to the lowest common maturity denominator because children may be present? If 50 adults are sitting in a restaurant next to a baby eating stewed carrots, do all the adults have to eat stewed carrots too?
This ain't the Teletubbies chat room. But I've got dirty pictures of them too.
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Mar 23 '01
9:15 am PST
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Re: Ha+ha! (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Shame on Epinions for not having a separate Sexual Gymnastics category. Thanks for reading, Jesus' Sandals.
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Mar 23 '01
8:57 am PST
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waxy loins? (Reply to this comment)
by st3on1ey1baby
I've done #5 - you really have to trust your partners for that one.
Tammy
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Mar 22 '01
7:55 pm PST
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Ha ha! (Reply to this comment)
by jesus_sandals
What a deceiving title; no warning or anything! And there I was thinking I was going to read a cutesy "Perk your kids up" epinion. Thanks for the laughs!
- Ryan
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Mar 22 '01
4:20 pm PST
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Re: If+you're+sick... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Thank you for putting me on your Web of...Thrust.
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Mar 22 '01
2:56 pm PST
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If you're sick... (Reply to this comment)
by jkkelley
...I hope it's contagious. I see why you're on a lot of Webs of Thrust.
Welcome to mine. Please keep writing.
jk
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Mar 22 '01
1:54 pm PST
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Re: Sex+and+the+single+claw (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Yes -- I've seen both Cronenberg films (and reviewed Crash). Last Tango is on my to-rent list. Thank you.
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Mar 22 '01
12:47 pm PST
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I'm speechless! (Reply to this comment)
by theworm
Very funny!
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Mar 22 '01
12:47 pm PST
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Re: Sick (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Didn't you read my disclaimer? It's not my fault Epinions only allows you to post "How To Show Affection" under Kids and Family.
Thanks for stopping by.
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Mar 22 '01
12:46 pm PST
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Re: I+am... (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
I didn't include The Nadia Comaneci, but it sounds like that one might be up your alley.
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Mar 22 '01
12:43 pm PST
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Sex and the single claw (Reply to this comment)
by MiDoyle
Lobstergirl: your perverse mind would make Kinsey proud. As for other cinematic sexual gymnastics, you should rent "Last Tango in Paris for the butter scene and Brando's girth. Others would be David Cronenberg's "Dead Ringers" (with Lyons as twins) and "Crash," where sex and auto accidents have an equal difficulty factor of 10. Thanks for the laughs and the info.
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Mar 22 '01
12:42 pm PST
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