Author's Note--The guidebook I'm reviewing from the perspective of my psychiatrist character, Dr. Freudine, is not just about sex, but about male-female relationships that may or may not include sex. It covers everything you want and need to know about preparing yourself for a connection to making one and following it through whatever the outcome. This is not a graphic, tasteless book or review. Please recall that Jan and client David have just been given The Dance of Connection in her office.
I notice Jan eying the book doubtfully as if a remark is on the tip of her tongue and I cross my arms and wait just a couple of beats.
"You know, Doc, this Dance of Connection sounds like an excellent book for a female reader, one who loves to read, but I don't think it'll keep DavidMac?s attention very long. I know a guidebook..."
"I'm sure you do...," I murmur.
She pauses. "Do you care to hear about it? I can tell DavidMac outside if you prefer."
"Oh no, please don't go behind my back! It's a guidebook to sex then? That may keep his attention all right, Jan, but..." I glance at the more alert DavidMac as he grins at me.
"Wait, it's better." She reaches behind her and comes up with a large, soft covered book, but where it came from I have no idea. Maybe she's a witch, which would explain a lot! "Listen to this, okay?" she adds.
Your state of mind is the most important determinant of your happiness: Your happiness doesn't depend on your state of matrimony or relationship; it depends on your state of mind. Seducing someone that you're wild about may ultimately be your goal; but remember, getting there is half the fun. And you do want to have fun, don't you? Otherwise, what's the point? Whether you want to be a great seducer or seductress, or you just want to form a connection with that woman who works in the bookstore, cultivate a joyful state of mind, and the rest really will come easily. Pp141
"So author Janet O'Neal, the 'Love Coach,' she writes The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Art of Seduction for anybody in any male-female relationship, whether you're single and looking for a date or friendship or you're married and wanting more passion with your spouse. She explains how the word seduction has gotten too narrow of an image and she uses it to include more than getting a person into bed."
David steps towards her to check out the book and she hands it to him with a smile.
"Not that you're a complete idiot, David...," she jokes oh so prettily with her hand on his arm briefly and my client giggles. She eyes my suspicious face. "That's an example of harmless flirting. Guys love to be touched like that."
"Okay, it might not be so bad. What else do you like about it?"
"We learn the difference between harmless, destructive and seductive flirting. How to attract someone with physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual magnetism, which are well-described with examples. You need all those for a connection, too. The first two are obvious, but emotional magnetism fills basic emotional needs. A woman needs security, affection, um, and his attention and his are for acceptance as he is, sexual fulfillment, her admiration and a companion/confidante. Spiritual magnetism is all of them together, you as a whole."
I nod thoughtfully and wonder what has David so intense-looking. "What do you think of it, kid?"
"Oh, it's great! I like the layout, about 300 pages, and how easy it is to read with some graphics and boxes of advice and chapter summaries. First there's a reference chart of turn ons for women and men, hahaha, it's so true that we're visual creatures and love the lights on! Then each chapter, there's a lot, builds on each other until you've decided you've made a 'love connection,' hahaha, after you've gotten to know them well, though, and you make the ultimate seduction scene. Then what happens next and how to keep passion alive, but it's not possible to be in ecstasy always, it says."
"But...do you think it'll give you confidence in how to speak to and attract a girl? Does it warn you about being desperate to impress and what you shouldn't do and that you should be honest with who you are, yet keep some mystery...," I challenge him, wishing I'd read the book and given it to him.
"Don't ya worry, Doc," Jan cajoles. "That's all covered. Love, according to O'Neal, is present when you put your partner's needs on the same level as your own. The book isn't just hot tips and tricks of the trade, but it helps you to form healthy, mature relationships starting with yourself. Can we go now, Doc? He's got a pseudo date with Miss Cunengonde."
I raise my eyebrows and delight in David's blush. "By all means go! Have a wonderful time, okay?" I hesitate, then grumble, "Thanks, Jan."
"You're welcome, Doc babe," she says with a wink and with a hurried "Thanks, Dr. Freudine" from my client, they're soon gone. I close the door, a little smile playing on my lips. The ultimate seduction scene...yes, dancing hip to hip and barefooted under a full moon on a sandy Caribbean beach, drinking Long Island Ice Teas...or should I? I don't want to pass out like last time!
Ultimately, though, isn't the art of seduction all about taking risks, being vulnerable, spontaneous mostly and having a good time with someone you may love? I'll drink that tea with Irish, I will, and even read The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Art of Seduction. As a therapist only, of course! Couldn't hurt, hehe.
Janet O'Neal has also written Cracking The Love Code and is a contemporary Christian who advocates delaying sex until you know each other well.