I do not possess the housekeeping gene. Yeah, I can do it, and I'm actually pretty good at it once I get going, but it takes a lot; I seem to have an unusual tolerance for messes. The Wondrous Carla comes every two weeks with her sister and between them, they keep the Health Dept. at bay, with touch-ups by Penguinman or me in the in-between weeks, when it gets thick around here.

The reason I know it's genetic - as opposed to sheer laziness on my part - Moi? Never! - is that my mother was no better at it than I am. She went back to work when I was six, and for years, provided after-school care for two sibling pairs who went to the UN school with me. So she was busy from dawn to after dinner, and housekeeping just didn't command much attention. We vacuumed and dusted but that was about it, except for special occasions. Then she would call on Janina, a wonderful Polish woman who could work magic in our small apartment. They would spend the day deep-cleaning, Janina humming her Polish melodies. And the product they always used on the wood was Johnson Paste Wax.

When I set up my own household, I relied on various spray products to keep the wood looking good. I never even thought about using anything that required more work than that. But a few years ago, I got a lovely new end-table. It's got an acid-etched copper top with a protective finish on it, and while it usually just requires a damp cloth, the maker recommends the occasional treatment with Johnson Paste Wax. So I trotted off to find some - no easy task in itself, I learned - and found myself humming Yanina's Cleaning Hum as I worked.


FEATURES AND HOW TO USE IT

• Johnson Paste Wax is a combination of hard waxes. The label doesn't say so, but I believe it includes carnauba.

• It comes in a squat cylindrical one-pound can with a pry-off lid.

• Per the Johnson company, Johnson Paste Wax can be used on wood floors and furniture, metal, leather, cork, and vinyl. It should not be used on rubber or asphalt tile. Before using it on newly sealed surfaces, check with the sealant's manufacturer before using any wax product.

• To use it, first remove grit and grime from the surface to be waxed, so you don't grind it in. Then rub a clean dry cloth over the surface of the wax. Rub it into the surface to be waxed, going with the grain, until the entire surface is evenly covered with a thin coating of wax. Let it dry completely, which takes about half an hour; the wax will appear hazy when it's dry. Then rub it off with a new clean dry cloth.

• I bought mine several years ago and don't remember where; probably in the old-fashioned hardware store in my village. It's not in any of my supermarkets, though, so a hardware or woodworker's shop would be your best bet.

• The Johnson website, www.scjohnson.com has a little information about Johnson Paste Wax if you type "paste wax" into the Search field, but it's clearly not one of their big sellers, and I can't find any information about the ingredients, beyond "hard waxes." Their consumer Information phone number is 1-800-558-5252.


WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT

• It gives a hard, clear, protective finish to surfaces. I find that I don't have to worry about water spots when I've used Johnson Paste Wax because water tends to bead on it. (I use coasters anyway, but it's nice to know.) The finish is harder than that left by oils, so it lasts longer.

• It smalls good. Well, that's a relative term, I guess, but the smell of this product always takes me back. No lemon or orange here, just waxes, so when you walk into the house, you know the furniture has been waxed, not just polished.

• A little goes a very long way You only use a small amount each time, so one can will last literally years, unless you decide to do your floors with it.

• My wood furniture loves this stuff. I use it about every three months on not only the copper-topped table but also my wood furniture, and over time, it's all taken on a deep sheen that only comes from deep waxing and moisturizing.

• You don't have to hum while using it - you can yodel, or warble, or whistle, or sing.


WHAT I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT

• It takes some elbow grease to get the best use out of Johnson Paste Wax. You need to wipe it on, wait, and then carefully and thoroughly rub it off. It's not as easy as spray and wipe, but the results are infinitely better.

• If you don't let it dry completely before rubbing it off, it gets smeary. That's why it's important to let it dry thoroughly first. If you find that it isn't completely dry, just stop removing it until it is.

• You need a can opener or screw-driver to get the can open, and a rubber mallet to close it completely. If you don't get a tight seal, the wax will dry out like spackle and you won't be able to use it next time.


SUMMARY AND VERDICT

I usually coast by on my orange oil spray, but I can't use that on my copper-top table, and every so often, I like to treat my wood furniture to The Real Thing. That's when I haul out my trusty can of Johnson Paste Wax and spend a few hours humming and waxing. It imparts a deep shine and protection that oils just can't match. Janina would be so proud of me.

Five stars.



Recommended: Yes