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Koniche wa, Spam

Apr 01 '01

The Bottom Line Spam and eggs: take it out of your breakfast menu.

"Why do people make such a hubbub about their spam mail," my colleague asked. "Just delete it, like I do."

"How much do you get," I asked her.

"I dunno..two or three a day," she replied.

"What would you do if you got an average of 400 a week? What if the titles of the email said "from your friend," or "From the one you love?" Or better yet, what if you can't delete them without locking up your computer?

"What? she said, astonished. How can that happen?

I began to explain to her my former world of the internet, and went on to further explain how I've fought the problem. Her eyes started to glaze over midway, but I think my letter got through.

How you get it

SPAM is advertising mail sent to you without your permission. SPAM is generated by email lists of names, and the names are attained in different ways, most of them illegal.

If it's free, it's me

Love those freebie sites? Can't wait to send away for another pair of golf balls, or that extra Silkience pantyhose? Think twice before you put your primary email in the little slot.

Many (not all, but many) freebie sites earn money by selling their email lists to spammers.

Point in case: suppose you are in the market for a Home Improvement loan. Suppose you are a member of a point redemption site, and they are offering you 500 free points..JUST to make an inquiry! Since you only need 2500 points to get a $10.00 gift certificate, you jump on this offer!

The primary site won't be the one to sell your email address. The second site will be the culprit.

Suddenly, you see a thread of emails from different loan and mortgage companies. Is it Karma? Wow, how did they know I just applied for a home improvement loan?

Nothing as nosy as Newsys

Newsgroups: Anytime you post your email address on a newsgroup, you run the risk of having it added to a spam list. Spammers use scripts that randomly run along the line of the groups, gathering up the mail.

What's in a name

Ever wonder why people use so many goofy names on the net? They are protecting their identity, and they are protecting their primary email address.

You get a few email addresses with your ISP. Before you join any groups, or any sites, or any surveys, get yourself an alternative, free email account. These are easily attained on the net from slews of sources. I use a free account called First name.

Is your Host a Parasite?

The primary source, and most irritating one, that generates most of my spam recently is my Web Hosting company. This is the company that I pay $9.99 a month to host my allparody site. I won't mention the company's name, as I don't want to incur a lawsuit, but let it suffice to say that when I look at the source of the spam mail in the url line, my host company's name is included in the line. I've written them several times about this issue, and now I'm going to pull my website from their services. It's not that they sell my address to others. It is that they allow spammers to use their web space.

~~Oh yes I'm turning Japanese oh yes I think so~~

In the above case, I can't delete the email. Along with the unwanted mail comes a new attitude: a request from my Internet Browser to download the Japanese language update that is needed, since the mail is in Japanese. Although I'm running a fairly new computer (450 PII), 9 out of 10 times this still jams me up.

Each time I get one of the Japanese character mails, I forward it to my hosting company with an angry note.

Prevention:

Points to remember please:

Don't put your primary email on any accounts. Don't even use it for your family and friends if they tend to be the ones that put you on those ridiculous long mailing or joke lists. Save it for a handful of people that you trust.

Get an alternative free email account.

Never open an attachment file to an email that comes from an unknown source. Never open any attachment files and you will be safe from viruses.

Urban Legends, or how to lose a Kidney in an ice bucket.

Rule of thumb: Whenever you get an email that asks you to forward it to other people, it's an Urban Legend. No one is going to take your kidney after you pass out at a party. Microsoft isn't going to offer you a free vacation to Disney, and Yahoo isn't going to start charging you for your email.

Anything you get in the mail that asks you to forward to other people is SPAM. Even if it is from your Mother.

As for the Japanese, I decided to fight fire with fire. I've sent my spammers some of my funniest material. Here's the reply:

Suiteki de atama ni anao akararete iru yona kokoromochi deshta.
It was like drops of water boring into my skull.

Oh well. Back to the drawing board.

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