What would you sacrifice for the self-esteem of a child?
Apr 06 '01 (Updated May 04 '01)
The Bottom Line Hair may be frivolous, but it can make a difference in how a child feels about himself or herself.
It surprises me sometimes that procrastination is not one of the seven deadly sins.
Personally, I’m rather thankful that it isn’t, as I think God might tire of hearing me confess of the same sin over and over again. Procrastination has certainly been plaguing me this week. Last Sunday I was to participate in a write-off. Here we are at 6 p.m. on Friday and I’m just starting to compose the review.
My excuses are plentiful, though all pretty lame. You see, the write-off is in honor of Kurt Messick’s 500 milestones: 500 epinions, 500 trusters, 500 days at epinions, and a year since his ordination. The topic of the write-off was something spiritual or something having to do with the number 500. At first I thought I would pick on a piece of literature that was at least 500 years old, such as the Russian Byliny. Then I started turning to my bookshelf and the many books of a spiritual nature.
Then I realized that this review would be something of a milestone for me as well. It would be my 200th review. When I hit my 100th review, I wrote an editorial praising each member of my WOT and at the time I thought I’d update that opinion. But it wouldn’t fit in with the write-off, now would it?
Ultimately, I was avoiding the same topic that I’d been avoiding for a long time. Procrastinating, as it were.
Do you believe that God talks to you? I do. No, I don’t think He sends me chain letters via e-mail nor sets my bushes on fire in the backyard. Instead, I think He speaks to me through His holy spirit in the quietness of my heart. Sometimes, though, I’m a little hard of hearing, so he drops broader hints. One of the hints that I’ve been pretending not to hear for a while has been hints about an organization called “Locks of Love.”
I first learned about “Locks of Love” about a year ago when a friend of mine cut her hair short and donated her tresses to this organization. Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that accepts hair donations to make hairpieces for poor children who have long-term medical hair loss. The most common condition is alopecia areata. According to www.alopeciaareata.com, the disease is “a highly unpredictable, autoimmune skin disease resulting in the loss of hair on the scalp and elsewhere on the body. This common but very challenging and capricious disease affects approximately 1.7 percent of the population overall, including more than 4 million people in the United States alone.” Its onset is typically in childhood—at a time when children are particularly susceptible to issues of self-esteem and confidence. There is not cure or known cause for this disease.
It’s not often that it is possible to do something concrete that will help the self-esteem of a child you won’t even meet. Self-esteem is one of those fuzzy issues. We know it is important, but how we go about cultivating it can be a minefield. However, I remember elementary school and junior high. They were filled with kids who were quick to pick on anyone whose appearance was radically different from their own. There was no one in my school who suffered from alopecia areata, but a bald head would have made the bearer suffer much teasing.
So when I first heard about Locks of Love, I decided it would be a neat idea if I ever decided to cut my hair. However, my hair is my biggest vanity. You could even say I’m overly fond of my hair. I like looking in the mirror in the bathroom at work and seeing it flow like chocolate down an ice cream sundae. It’s finally gotten to the point where it stretches down past my waist. It keeps me warm in the winter and my son and husband both love to play with it.
Then there was an item in our local newspaper that a friend told me about. A local hair salon was having a “hair drive.” They would give anyone willing to donate 10 inches a free cut and style. My friend measured my hair for me and determined that I could donate 10 inches and still have hair that reached the middle of my back. That still counts as long, right? My husband has a strict policy that he won’t tell me how to do my hair or what sort of clothes to wear. When I suggested to him that I might donate my hair, he cast puppy dog eyes at me, stroked my hair, and struggled mightily not to say anything. So I let it pass.
In the mean time, the drive ended. I later learned that there are still several hair salons that will cut your hair for free upon appointment and will even ship the hair for you. The problem was, most of those were at least an hour’s drive away and I knew I would chicken out before then.
Locks of Love needs donations of at least 10 inches because most of the children they make wigs for are girls—and most girls want long hair. They make the conjecture that more girls apply for wigs as it is more socially acceptable for boys to have very short or shaved hair, but it is not for girls. The manufacturing process used to make the hairpieces uses two inches of the hair, so with a minimum donation of 10 inches, there is only 8 inches left for the hair. Shorter ponytails can be donated, but Locks of Love usually sells them to help raise money for the making of the other hairpieces.
Locks of Love said that nearly 80 percent of their donors are children—children who see a way that they can help other children even though they themselves have little money.
It’s an expensive process to make custom hairpieces. If they were paying full price, it would cost $3,000 for each hairpiece—which is why many families cannot afford them for their children. Even with donated hair, it takes 12 ponytails of 10-inch lengths to make a single hairpiece.
A few months ago, there was a blood drive at EpinionAddicts. Due to medical problems I’d been having during January, I knew I wasn’t eligible to give blood. Nor, with all the medical bills we had, could I afford a financial donation at the time. Normally, I wouldn’t have worried about it and moved on. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Locks of Love. Here was a gift that should be easy. I could cut my hair—something that would grow back quickly—and it would help some child have a happier adolescence. What a no-brainer!
Yet, every time I thought about cutting my hair, it would bring me to near tears. Pretty silly, no? That is why they call it a vanity, I suppose. I was told then that if I was struggling so much, then the time must not be right. So I shoved it to the back of my mind again.
Last week, as I considered what my topic for this write-off would be, a friend’s new girlfriend joined a group of us who were socializing. I had met her just the night before and she then had long, curly hair. It was now cut in very short, cute style. She said she’d donated her hair to Locks of Love. She described how it was simple—they pulled her hair into a ponytail, measured the amount they needed (she chose to donate more than 10 inches), and snipped away. She then gave me the URL for the Locks of Love Web site.
OK, the message was starting to get louder and more clear. God calls on us to give where we can—whether it be time, talent, or money. Or in this case, hair. It’s such a simple thing to ask, especially the week before our family and Christians around the world celebrate the ultimate sacrifice made by Christ for us. In comparison, my hesitation is awfully silly.
I still avoided the Locks of Love site for a few days. Finally on Wednesday, I went to take a look. While they had a listing of salons in every state where hair could be donated, they also had a form that could be filled out in case you wanted to cut your hair yourself. They also provided the following information (taken directly from their Website at www.locksoflove.com):
We accept 10" minimum hair length (tip to tip), not wigs, falls, or synthetic hair
Please bundle hair in ponytail or braid
Hair needs to be clean, dry, and placed in a plastic bag
We need hair from men and women, young and old, all colors, and all races
Hair may be colored or permed, but not chemically damaged (if you're not sure, ask your stylist)
Hair swept off the floor is not usable
Hair cut years ago is usable as long as it has been stored in a ponytail
Hair that is short, gray, or unsuitable for children will be separated from the ponytails and sold at fair market value to offset the cost of manufacturing
You may pull curly hair straight to measure the minimum 10"
Layered hair may be put into more than one ponytail for donation
The site is filled with useful information about Locks of Love including testimonials from donors and recipients, an faq, fundraisers, ways to make financial donations, volunteer highlights, and press releases.
It looked pretty clear cut and easy. But still I procrastinated. I told my three-year-old that I was going to cut my hair. He grabbed my ponytail, stroked it, and said, “You can’t cut your hair, Mama. You can’t.” Yet, what is the sacrifice of some locks of hair in exchange for helping to bolster the self-esteem of another child? Is that not a valuable lesson for me to teach my child, that not only is his self-esteem important, but that he should help contribute to the self-esteem of others when he can.
I was too cowardly to even tell my husband, though I did hint at it again this morning. I decided that the longer I waited, the harder it would be to do. So I called a friend of mine to come over this evening while my husband goes off war gaming. She’s going to help me cut my hair, hold my hand, and distract me with jokes to keep me from crying. Indeed, she’s probably already at my house. Me? I’m just waiting to post this review so that I can’t change my mind again.
If you haven’t read them already, the other participants in this write-off celebrating Kurt Messick’s 500s are kurt_messick, conradd, eplovejoy, frazzledspice, jankp, jcvsmom, jenninca, KateTPZ, Lisa_J, naphtalia, nicholmere, prettyinpink, Psychovant, Redlass, saxguy and telefrog.
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Update: May 5, 2001
I did cut my hair that night. My husband ended up staying home and he teased me as I knelt on the floor and my friend measured the ten inches and then cut above the pony tail. We ended up cutting off 12 inches instead of 10. To show just how silly all my hesitation was: Only a few people have even noticed that my hair has been cut. I'm slowly getting used to the shorter locks and planning to get a lot of sun this summer so it will grow back quickly.
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Epinions.com ID:
Redlass
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Member: Bridgette
Location: Lansing, Michigan
Reviews written: 526
Trusted by: 482 members
About Me:
I have many loves: family, books, theater, writing, and the many communities I belong to.
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