Looking at the trailers for this film, my worst fear was that it would be like “Bladerunner for kids”.

Silly me. Even though that fear was realised, I should have realised that there was a far worse fear: That of falling asleep in the cinema and snoring loudly.

Well, okay so that didn’t happen - quite - but it was a close thing. This is one of the most mind-numbingly boring films I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. (The four friends who came with me were just as unimpressed, by the way).

The plot did hold promise. A child android (played superbly by Hayley Joel Osmet – a shameful waste of talent) is adopted into a family but becomes an outcast after an accident involving his automatic self-defence system and some horrible humans. He teams up with another outcast android (“Gigolo Joe”) and a talking teddy bear (by far the best character in the film) on a mission to meet his maker. Various so-called adventures ensue, including a scene where old robots are put to death by a mob – which could have been powerful, but is handled in such a clichéd and unconvincing way that it simply adds to the tedium. By the time the meeting with the maker does eventually happen you’ll have given up any hope that the scriptwriters will try to do anything original, inventive, or even interesting. And they don’t disappoint – even this scene is a damp squib.

The special effects aren’t too bad, but the storyline, length, and dialogue are just atrocious. (Okay, the length is only atrocious because the other elements are). Where’s the tension? Where’s the excitement? Where’s the emotion? The only character that I even remotely cared about was that damn teddy bear! The actors do their best, but in the end they collapse under the deadweight of a script, and quite frankly this film threatened to put me off Spielberg for life. Characterisation is thin at best, and the only thing this film does it try to be a formulaic tearjerker while pretending to be cutting edge sci-fi. Do yourself a favour and don’t watch this if you haven’t already had the misfortune.

The film would be bad enough even if it ended before the completely pointless last half-hour. As it is, it holds the dubious honour of being number four in my Worst Ten Sci-Fi Movies of All Time list.

This film is only recommended to masochists and chronic insomniacs.

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This review was an entry in Scotte1218's"Stinky Movie Write Off".


Recommended:
No

Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children up Ages 8