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Alumna Non GrataApr 10 '01 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line You can tell a lot about a college and its values by how they value their alumni. The mailman, that is “mail person”, delivered a nice book today in one of those bubble-envelopes. I have been a stay-at-home mom for just over two years now but I’m pretty sure that in that time my mail carrier has yet to realize the significant role he plays in my daily life. There’s nothing like the arrival of mail to put some other world excitement into my day. “Other world”, of course, being the world of professionals. The world where work is regarded as career and, therefore, comes with a monetary reward of some kind. Today’s excitement revolved around a lovely looking devotional from my alma mater. You see, before I was just a stay-at-home mom I was a college student who had the wherewithall to earn a college degree and utilize it in the other world for a few years. My alma mater is also unique in this respect: It is a liberal arts college with a religious bent. My professors were Christian in some form and the chapel was often referred to as ‘Mecca’ since it held almost religious-like awe for many who encountered it. It was from these halls of higher learning that my book arrived this morning. A devotional “by alumni and friends” of this Christian institution. Inside I was told I’d find “366 daily devotionals written by alumni and friends.” The back went on to explain that this was a work that was years in the making, a difficult undertaking with “joyful” results. Finally it reassured potential readers that there would even be some entries by stay-at-home parents. Well, you can be sure that at that point I decided I would count just how many entries were written by these parents with the high calling. I paged through, reading a few entries by those with what most consider illustrious careers (physicians, college administrators, lawyers, economic advisor to some President...) and got to my first entry by a stay-at-home parent. That’s one entry. I believe it took about twenty pages to get to it, but there it was. On I paged and when I had reached the final devotion I found that in 366 devotions, seven were written by “homemakers” or those who chose the title “stay-at-home parent”. On that note, I shut the book and once again felt the same emotions I feel every time I receive an alumni bulletin or magazine from my alma mater. The emotions range from anger to frustration to embarrassment. When I reach embarrassment I tend to revert back to anger very quickly. How dare my alma mater create in me a sense of embarrassment because I have chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps I’d anticipate this a bit more if my college of choice had been a publicly funded university. I suppose I had higher standards for an institution that prides itself on its Christian heritage (and a conservative heritage, at that). Yet month after month I receive glossy publications and the usual fund raising letters reminding me that even at an institution founded on Biblical principles, being a professor, physician or attorney ranks much higher than being a stay-at-home parent. I can be pretty sure of never being tapped to lead my local alumni association chapter. I will not be asked to write for my quarterly college-sponsored magazine, and I’m pretty sure they would not find my update written for my graduating class awe-inspiring or worthy of printing. The Development Office would much rather have someone who can list “State Representative” or perhaps “Psychologist” under their name in the fund raising brochure than a parent who has relegated other world career to the back seat and can list “Mom”, “Dad”, “Chief Cook and Bottle Washer” under their name. I resent that my alma mater can do such a good job at embarrassing me over the path I have chosen for the good of my family. I am busy raising what may be future alumni and yet this will only become significant when my children are ready to make the college choice. At that time I’m pretty sure I’ll get a pat on the back for not having income to report on the financial aid forms and for devoting myself so selflessly to raising my children. Until then, however, I am alumna non grata in the hallowed halls of my alma mater.  |
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