The 10 Worst Movies My Wife Made Me WatchApr 19 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Good movies should you want to clear a room of testosterone very quickly
Okay, so I'm not reviewing a power tool. What to do, what to do... As I sat down last night in an ill-fated attempt to watch television with my dearly beloved wife (she writes for Epinions also so I have to make sure this isn't too cruel) I soon found myself finding a reason to head back to the woodshop. Something about her swooning over George Clooney in ER re-runs that leads me to head for the hills. So it occurred to me today that there are some pretty good movies out there a woman can use to torture or get rid of the man in her life. (At least make him flee from the living room.) If you're new into the relationship you're still in the midst of sitting through these lovely pieces of cinematic achievement (ahem). If you know your marriage can survive it, you've already left the room thanks to at least one of these films. The Way We Were It wasn't made in the 90s so I figured it was some sort of classic. Oops. Robert Redford should never be picked on, especially by Barbra Streisand. She whines through most of the movie only to find herself singing about Memories... and lamenting the state she is in. My mother-in-law made me watch this one too. Fried Green Tomatoes I enjoyed parts of this one, but it's just a bit too she-woman man-hater for me. Somewhere along the line it lost me and I know there was a great deal of undercurrents happening with this one. My wife will curl up on the couch and watch this one whenever it's on...I say, "you already know what happened to the guy, why watch again...." I admit to watching just to see if I can truly figure out if Mary Stuart Masterson and the other gal are playing friends or lesbians. I know, too much testosterone... Say Anything I wonder if John Cusack regrets this one as much as I do? He plays a hopelessly in love chap chasing the girl of her dreams. Her father is played by the actor who plays Frasier's father (I've never claimed to be a cinematic genius). Not a high career point for either one. The one high point here is the song In Your Eyes from Peter Gabriel but that moment lasts far to short. This one clears me out of the room immediately. Thelma & Louise Let's see you have Brad Pitt's rear end out there for everyone to see. Need I go on? Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon turned what could have been a mediocre tale into something of a cult classic. Many was the night that floors in our college dorm were filled with women watching this film. We guys knew to steer clear of the women at least 24 hours afterward. Whew! Little Women I realize this one is based on a literary classic, and the March sisters certainly were a resourceful bunch. Could it be that lack of action is the culprit here? I'm not sure. While I actually enjoyed Wynonna Ryder's performance, I just couldn't spend that much time watch these sisters commisserate over ill health, boys and the like. Not bad for one viewing, but not my choice for repeat showings. While You Were Sleeping Don't even understand the thought process in this one. Why a woman (Sandra Bullock) who is rather good looking would resort to a man in a coma. Why the logic is completely beyond me. Spoken like a true man, I'm sure. Bill Pullman (the coma guy's brother) falls for Miss Sandy and there's a happily ever after ending. Just don't get it.... My Life This is my wife's number one choice for a good cry. I understand the "good cry" concept---took me about five years to get it, but I'm there. (Email me should you need some help with it, guys.) Nicole Kidman, red-head goddess, is married to Michael Keaton (this is the movies, after all) but unfortunately Mike's got cancer. Throughout it all Michael determines to videotape various messages to his child that Nicole is carrying. Can you feel me weeping as I type? It's not a half bad movie, and any father may actually get something pretty good out of a viewing. Not sappy in the least and certainly confronts death head-on. I just don't like to pretend having something in my eye that often. I'm feeling like anything else I list will have the same inherent idea behind it so for the sake of brevity let me round it off by listing a few other testosterone killers: Sixteen Candles, The Bachelor, Breakfast At Tiffany's, The Sound of Music, When Harry Met Sally, Beaches(!).... Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total clod. There's enough romantic/romantic-comedy movies out there that I'll sit through to make my wife content. Many from our growing-up years (late 70s, early 80s) have enough great musical offerings that I'll sit through the movies just to hear the soundtrack (Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club).  |
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