"Film Critic" Writes a Book: Richard Roeper's Hollywood Urban Legends
Written: Apr 12 '04 (Updated Apr 15 '04)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Nice Index and Bibliography
Cons: More than I could take
The Bottom Line: I read this so you don't have to.
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| WilliamJones's Full Review: |
You know Richard Roeper, right? He's the guy who sits across the aisle from Roger Ebert, the co-host of Ebert & Roeper and the Movies.
Many people, including myself, feel Roeper was a poor choice to replace the late Gene Siskel. When Siskel died in 1999, Ebert told us it would never be the same. These were true words and yet fans hoped a suitable replacement might be found. Ebert took his time, rotating a number of qualified candidatesTom Shales of the Washington Post, Janet Maslin of the New York Times, Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News, among othersbefore ultimately settling on Roeper, a columnist and fellow colleague at the Chicago Sun-Times. Many of us are still shaking our heads over that one.
Why Roeper?
Aside from looking good on camera (a primary factor?) your guess is as good as mine. Still, I'm all for giving the new guy a chance, so I continued watching the show...for a time. At some point, however, I threw in the towel. One can only take so many inane comments¹.
When I came across Roeper's book, Hollywood Urban Legends in the library, however, I knew I had to check it out.
In this book Roeper eschews film criticism (why bother, right?) to explore various myths surrounding film, television, and music.
I won't keep you in suspense. Hollywood Urban Legends is underwhelming, to say the least. It's Roeper's second book on the subject (the "best-selling" Urban Legends preceding it) and, while I can't speak to that one's quality, he's really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. From the introduction Roeper tells us:
...I'm once again attempting to throw a little light on some murky myths and outright lies, this time concentrating on stories about movie stars, pop music icons, TV shows, and former child actors who aren't dead, no matter what you might have heard.
Too bad it's mostly filler-type material. I mean, I can count on one hand the number of urban legends I found even moderately amusing.
Many of these we've heard before. There aren't a lot of people, I suspect, who still entertain the notion that Mama Cass died choking on a ham sandwich (I heard pizza) or that "the Beaver" died in Vietnam or that the Gerber baby was none other than Humphrey Bogart. Yet that doesn't stop Roeper from trotting 'em out.
Ditto: "The Curse of James Dean". This story, which involves Sal Mineo, Natalie Wood and others associated with the movie Rebel Without a Cause has been done to death (no pun intended). Since the basic facts behind it are true, the urban legend (if this even qualifies as such) concerns the alleged "curse." And while I agree with Roeper it's "hype and coincidence," was it presented as anything but a wacky theory?
Roeper gets it wrong at least once. In "The Newlywed Game Blooper", for instance, he recounts how the host of that game show, Bob Eubanks, asked a female contestant the question: "Where's the most unusual place you've made whoopee?" Her response: "In the butt, Bob" (or similar verbiage). According to Roeper it "never happened" but that's simply not true as a recent airing of the uncensored clip attests.
The Joanie Loves Chachi urban legend is somewhat interesting. The word chaji in Korean means penis and so, the story goes, the show was a huge hit in Korea because everyone thought they were watching something called Joanie Loves Penis. The problem here is that this can be explained in a couple of sentences. Roeper, however, is looking to fill an entire book. Therefore the need to pad it out with a personal attack on Scott Baio (somewhat ironic in that Roeper is the Scott Baio of film criticism).
I did get a chuckle out of the Martha Stewart one: backing out of her driveway one day, she allegedly runs over the neighbor's dog. Nonplussed over the animal's death, she sues the owner for damage to "the back bumper of her fancy SUV." Okay, I'll admit it, I laughed at this one (who thinks these things up, anyway?).
Other urban legends include:
Lucy of "I Love Lucy" was a "card-carrying member of the Communist Party"
Congressman Fred Grandy ("Gopher" on The Love Boat) fires Capitol Hill elevator-operator who quips: "Lido deck, sir?"
Cher has two ribs surgically removed to look thinner
Bill Cosby purchases rights to "The Little Rascals" so he can retire thempermanently
Tom Green dresses up like Hitler to shock Bar Mitzvah party attendees
Soap opera star Susan Lucci is Phyllis Diller's daughter
Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay lovers
Ronald Reagan initially pegged to play the part of Rick in Casablanca
There are others, but they're even less remarkable. Hollywood Urban Legends is not something you're going to want to purchase (hardcover edition priced at $18.99, no less). Trust me, there's not enough here to warrant your attention. If you're interested in urban legends save some money and try searching the Internet. I read this one so you don't have to.
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¹Roeper "challenges" an unimpressed Roger Ebert over the relative merit of a dueling Yoda in "Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones":
Roeper: And there's this whole "Crouching Yoda, Hidden Dragon" thing that's just...
Ebert: You like the fact that Yoda turns into an action figure now with his light saber?
Roeper: I think that that is a scene [with Yoda] that "Star Wars" fans are going to absolutely love, I loved it.
Ebert: It's totally out of character for him.
Roeper: It's not totally out of character for him! That's part of his skills. He's not just this brilliant philosopher, he's also a Jedi warrior!
Ebert: Listen, if you're Yoda and you have the Force...
Roeper: He's a Jedi master.
Ebert:
If you encompass the Force, you don't need no lightsaber!
Roeper: You do when you're going up against another Jedi dude who's also got super-duper mind powers!
Ebert: You've just got to go like this [makes a mind-reading gesture]. You're Yoda, nobody can stop you.
Roeper: Well, he was being stopped mentally, so he had to go to the physical stuff.
Ebert: OK.
Roeper: It's a lot of fun, and there's a lot of great action sequences.
Ebert: OK, well, I'm sure that a lot of people will agree with you.
Roeper: I hope so.
Ebert: OK.
Recommended:
No
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