|
|
Antisocial Candlehead -- Music Write-offApr 25 '01 (Updated Apr 26 '01) Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Music
The Bottom Line Music Redux Write-off deal. Punks.
Okay, kids. I'll make this short and sweet, and as painless as possible. Irrelevant's here to crash the party. Doesn't look like I'll be stayin' long, the cops are already here. Well, hell -- Mr. Pig is spikin' the punch bowl. All we need now to rectify this sad-house are a couple of my own personal jams. The following is what we'll be dancing to, and no exceptions, kids! Let me see. There are probably more embarrassing songs for me than I'd like to admit. I guess the "definitive" song would have to be Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield." Laugh if you must, but that raunchy, rebellious 80's grind just plops my socks (if you know what I'm saying). My favorite awards show moment is probably one of the more recent events. At the 2000 MTV Music Awards, Tom Morello from Rage Against The Machine had scaled a stage prop and began shaking it while he was sitting down overlooking the auditorium. Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit was accepting an award while this was going on. Security tried to persuade Mr. Morello to "get down from there," but to no avail. Fred's reception speech was totally massacred, but he tried his best not to be upset, he even offered, "That guy [Morello] should get an award!" Eventually, about ten or so security personnel got Tommy Boy to climb down the giant stage prop. This was one of the coolest things I've seen at an awards show. There are others, mind you, but this is just the most recent. A song that makes me feel cool when I'm driving, eh? That'd have to be Atom Bomb by Fluke. A totally trashy, bass-a-fied techno rip. It has all the essential elements of fast, hard driving music. Okay. I don't really have all that many "painful" memories. Since you twisted my arm, (read thus far), I'll humor you. The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats has got to recall this sad memory for anyone familiar with the song. As soon as I hear that chorus: "We can dance if we want to...", I become crestfallen, for I know somewhere within the next two minutes and thirty seconds, the song will end and I will be sad. Favorite carnal song: Pink Floyd does it best with Young Lust of The Wall album. Dirty lyrics, twisted ideas, and a general lack of moral hygiene. Not only is the song in and of itself "trashy," but the rest of the album strengthens this feeling and compliments the dysfunction of the music. Ooh, I need a dirty woman. Funniest song is obviously William Shatner's "Mr. Tambourine Man." It's simply brilliant. I can't help but grimace every time I hear it. If I were going to commit a crime, I'd most likely be listening to Cowgirl by Underworld, although anything by Underworld will more than do. They even provide an augmented adrenaline rush. Kickstand! Choosing just one artist or group you cannot stand is difficult, especially with all the crap out there today. But since I'm only allowed to pick one, I'll go with the easiest, most obvious choice. Blink 182 sucks. Annoying vocals, monotonous songs and lyrics, shallow messages, and the biggest upset: they get way more sex than me. Well, I suppose it's close... I'd donate all six of my stomachs to be alone with Jennifer Love Hewitt. I love her song "Let's Go Bang." Gee, what would we do, though? One of the bigger disappointments record-wise was Hole's Celebrity Skin. Not only did all but one or two tracks even qualify as music, but the metamorphosis of Courtney Love had also completed. Hole went down the drain, and they ain't gurgling up again any time soon. Song that made me cry: William Shatner's "Mr. Tambourine Man." The last inquiry is a toughie. I'm supposed to pick THE coolest thing done by an artist or group? Well, I'll meet you half way and give you one of the cooler things I can remember. Hmm... Oh, yes. "Hammer Time," MC Hammer's morning cartoon sellout show was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Damn, I used to watch that show all the time. Here's the list of people who were cool enough to actually be invited to this write-off: repulsemonkey, MiDoyle, Sloucho, Pyanfar, spicymeatball, zenhues, Psychovant, fm_hunter, slave_boy, Fez_Monkey, drlolipop, Mr.Eyore, jkkelley, factotum, monssfisch, Saxguy, jordan_tar, Arazim, adamldemarco, redsox75, kellydeal, sxejustin, movielover123, DVON, SpookyMonkey, churst, phineaskc, MattA75, xiphoid, Mr_D, PezKing, Officer, phixed, sleestakk. Okay, so there's my illegal entry, kids. Some party, huh? Pfft... Amateurs! I'm outta' here!  |
| Read all comments (10)|Write your own comment |
|
Ads by Google
|
by starcollector by starcollector
![Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast Reviews](http://di2.shopping.com/images/pi/95/a4/8a/2006752046-100x100-0-0.jpg?p=p3.87707f73d27601d5ea2a&a=2&c=1&l=8071320&t=120603034759&r=1)
