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My Broomstick is Broken, So I'm Staying Home Tonight and Rating Your Reviews!May 07 '01 (Updated Jan 21 '02) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Something's brewing in Epinions' cauldron. Yes, it's true. Is it a priceless gem or tasteless NH-stew? Come closer, my pretty, you will see... how reviews are rated by me!
What's that? A misspelled word? A too-lengthy paragraph? An adjective instead of an adverb? Let me dispatch my flying monkeys on you while I give you an NH! Just kidding! I may be starting to turn into a crabby old witch, but I'm not that bad yet. However, I do think I've weeded through one too many Not Helpful reviews in hopes of finding a gem that will make me laugh out loud or get me interested enough to go to the writer's profile page and read more. Or maybe the review that will bring me to tears. Am I asking too much? Where are all those NH's coming from? I find my mouse moving more frequently to the left these days. Am I getting pickier in my old age? Or is the quality of the reviews declining? Blatant Plagiarism In the past two weeks I have found no less than a dozen cases of blatant plagiarism. I have NH'd every such review, left comments, and reported the abusers to Epinions. I've never had to do this before! Either I've been blissfully ignorant for a long time or the landscape is changing dramatically. It's really bad when someone who hasn't played a video game since she stayed up all night to finally win at Super Mario Brothers II can spot a plagiarized game review in thirty seconds flat. At least these reviews are the easiest to rate. I quickly label them NH (once I've located their original published source) and hope that others will read my comment before rating what appears to be a well-written review. Other Abusers The repetitive word reviews are thankfully becoming scarcer, but I ran a across a "blah, blah, blah" today. At least those are quick NH's. No thinking or re-reading required. Some people do nothing but pointlessly rant, fill their reviews with oh-so-subtly disguised curse words, or trash another writer by name. In these instances, I happily quit stirring my cauldron long enough to give them the big ole NH. The Not So Clearly Defined Then there are those reviews that are poorly written, with barely 100 words, filled with horribly misspelled words or atrocious grammar, and contain no seemingly helpful information. I will read them through at least twice before rating them, just to be sure there are no redeeming qualities. I won't NH someone just because they can't spell, are a poor writer, or don't know how to use the return key to break up a paragraph. However, if they do all the aforementioned and the review offers no helpful information, then I will be forced to NH the review. After all, I've read it twice by then, giving them the benefit of the doubt the first time around. Off-Topic... a Touchy Subject Finally, there are the totally off-topic reviews. If there is no redeeming social value in these reviews, then I will be forced to rate them NH. However, if they are incredibly funny and well-written then I might pause to reflect as to how the topic could be interpreted. This is the one time I will cut any slack in this area. However, if you are clearly off-topic, you will be rated Not Helpful. Including a disclaimer on an off-topic review, does not make it okay. If you want to know how I really feel about this, I wrote a whole review on the subject. If I think you've sincerely made a mistake in posting in this category, then I will leave a note of apology along with the NH and offer to re-rate if you move or otherwise appropriately modify your review. Somewhat Helpful Reviews These reviews generally consist of one paragraph. Often there are no capital letters to be found. (Hint: Shift Key) I often feel like I have to read the entire review without taking a breath. Whew! Reading a review like this makes me weary and my eyes start to hurt. If someone doesn't care enough about my feelings and my computer-weary eyes, why should I care enough to give them the benefit of a higher rating? If two reviews are on the borderline of being SH or H, the one with correct spelling, punctuation, and capitalization will get the H. Don't get me wrong -- we all make typos and not everyone is a perfect speller. However, it is glaringly obvious when someone makes no attempt whatsoever to correct their review before posting it. Helpful Reviews These reviews are usually well-written and help me learn something about the chosen topic. They may even bring forth a chuckle. These are good, solid reviews. They're just not great, but many could be with a little more work. Sometimes a review teeters between Helpful and Very Helpful. It provides information, but it could have had more explicit. Or maybe it's just too dry and boring. It could have been livened up with more personal experience. If I fall asleep while attempting to read a review, chances are it will not receive a VH. Or, maybe the review could have been made a bit more presentable. Those HTML tags and appropriate line spacing can work wonders for making a review more appealing to the eye. That also makes it easier to read and comprehend. Translation: Eye appeal makes your review more helpful. A Witch's Prerogative You can write the best review in the entire world, but if it is all one paragraph and three screens long, I will not give it a Very Helpful. Hey, remember, I'm a witch and that's just the way it is. Break up those paragraphs so I can read and fully understand what you're saying. It could possibly make the difference between a Helpful and Very Helpful rating. Very Helpful For those of you who have not dozed off or NH'd this review by now, I thank you. And for those of you who consistently go the extra mile to collect information for a review, to organize your thoughts coherently, to add your personal insights or experiences, proofread your work, and maybe even add bold, italics, paragraphs breaks, or highlight key words or phrases, I salute you! Thank you for taking pride in your work, for making a professional presentation, and for enlightening me on the subject of your choice. I will look forward to reading more of your reviews. (Send me those reviews, I want to read them!) Even if your subject matter expertise is slightly lacking and you didn't include every detail I would have expected, I will be more inclined to rate you highly if you took obvious pains to make your review look its best. I won't give you a VH just because you prettied up a sorely lacking review, but I'll sure give you extra credit for trying when I know you've put effort into your review. Thank You and Good Night! All that being said, it's time to go call the broom repair shop and see when my ride will be back in order. Thanks to all who have endured my witchy ramblings this evening!  |
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