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For Six Sweet WeeksMay 11 '01 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line Don't deny yourself time to heal. I gave birth to my daughter, Hailey on June 14, 2000, via Caesarean Section, and 5 weeks post partum, conceived my second child. My husband and I had a blunder with our birth control, and much to our surprise, found a positive pregnancy tests in the palm of my hands two weeks later. Shocked, we called our OB/GYN, whom, was just as surprised as we were to learn our news. A quantative HCG confirmed the home pregnancy test results, and we were given a tentative due date of April 16, 2001. According to the doctor's pregnancy "wheel", we were a little over 4 1/2 weeks upon receiving the positive test. At first, we were concerned about conceiving so soon after delivering Hailey. We knew that conceiving so quickly couldn't be healthy for my body that was still recovering from the Caesarean, and we were unsure how healthy the little surprise growing inside of me was. With each day that passed, we grew accustomed to our shocking conception, and began to look forward to April 16, 2001. We began speculating whether or not we would be purchasing boy clothes, or would be saving Hailey's. My husband wanted another girl, just as I did, but we knew that whether our little miracle was a girl or boy, we would be just as delighted. We had adjusted, in a surprisingly short time, to the idea of having a second child so soon. We held off telling family until I reached the crucial twelve week mark, for fear of worrying them, just as we had worried ourselves. Almost two and a half weeks after learning of our new pregnancy, I began to bleed. At first, I wasn't concerned as I had experienced frequent bleeding during my pregnancy with Hailey. I held off calling our doctor, and when the bleeding subsided, heaved a huge sigh of relief. Hours after the bleeding had stopped, it resumed again, only heavier, and accompanied with severe cramping. With a heavy heart, we headed to the emergency room. An emergency ultrasound confirmed our worst fears, I was miscarrying. The ultrasound detected no heart beat, and our doctor told us to expect more bleeding and cramping and a possible D&C. Fortunately, the D&C wasn't required, but the feelings afterwards matched the pain I would have felt from such an invasive procedure. While our pregnancy had been completely unexpected, it had warmed our hearts and brought us so much joy in such a short amount of time. The thought of giving our first born a brother or sister tickled us, just as the thought of watching my belly swell once more. The pain of losing that, of losing the anticipation was nearly unbearable. There are no words to describe how it feels to miscarry, whether earlier during the pregnancy or later on, the loss echoes deep within. I felt deprived, as though my child, while not in my arms, had been ripped away from me. I had carried inside of me, something precious, and in an instant, it was gone. The weeks following the miscarriage, I threw myself into my family, my daughter, anything that would help me not to dwell on my loss. I took comfort in my husband's arms, and in my daughter's giggles and coos. The best advice that I can offer anyone enduring a miscarriage is to find solice in the familiar, don't be afraid to accept comfort from those who offer it. Healing takes time, and losing something as precious as a child, takes even more time. Don't deny yourself the time to heal, to recover and to cope.  |
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