Bionic Commando: Grappling Through the Cosmos
Written: Jul 15 '04
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Product Rating:
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Pros: FANTASTIC play mechanics, involved story, blood 'n guts
Cons: Occasional glitch in level design, a little slowdown
The Bottom Line: Bionic Commando is a terrible, cheesy name for a game, but that doesn't change the fact that the game itself is one of the best of all time. Check it.
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| shilmafone's Full Review: Bionic Commando for Nintendo |
Night 1 in Vegas. Man, I'm beat. It's way later than it should be--I wanted to be in bed by 9. I can hardly see....yet strangely, oddly, I'm feeling pretty good right now.
Get your minds out of the gutters. I was playing video games.
That's right, I spent my first night in Las-to-the-Vegas playing video games. Some exciting life I lead, eh? Still, when the game is as good as the one I was playing last night, it could almost be worth a Get Out Of Being Mocked Free card.
Almost.
Given that it's in BIG WORDS at the top of this page, you've probably already guessed by now that I spent night #1 with Bionic Commando, a game that I'm not ashamed to say is very likely my favorite 8-bit Nintendo game of all time. That's right, Mario, Tetris, and Mega Man could all go back to Italy, Russia, and the Assembly Line for all I care, but for God's sake, don't take away my Bionic Commando. I have never met a game before Bionic Commando (and perhaps not even since) that drew me in the way the off-the-wall gameplay style of this game did. I mean, you can't even jump. Not at all. What's a side scroller without jumping? More on the jumping thing later.
First off, the basics.
The Story
That's right children, they even had stories in games way back then! And this one was one of the better ones. As it begins, Super Joe is (gasp) captured! He's a hero-type guy! We must save him! And so, the tale of Saving Private Joe begins. Actually, I think Joe is a captain, but that would have been a far less funny punchline. He's just Super. Anyway. Those more Nintendo-savvy gamers might recognize the name Super Joe from the original Commando, to which Bionic Commando is something of a pseudo-sequel. Eventually, the story goes from Saving Super Joe to Saving the Entire Planet from Hitler, but hey, I'll let you be the one to play out that little transition on your own!
Oh, and our protagonist has a grappling hook for an arm. Almost left out that little detail.
The Graphics
As far as the 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System goes, the graphics are pretty sharp. Lots of bright colors somehow manage to add up to a gritty feel. Each stage has its own unique feel and color scheme, with the orange stage 5 and the black and purple night of stage 6 standing out in my head as I write this. A few big bosses make their way in, and they manage to be imposing enough to be frightening, but they don't have too many moving parts. That's OK, however, as too much more on the screen likely would have meant slowdown out the wazoo. Generally the graphics are pretty typical "good side-scroller" graphics.
There are also scenes were conversations take place. The graphics on these are pretty much static pictures, but they're well-drawn and believable, especially given the technology at hand. Overhead stages are slightly primitive-looking, but that's mostly due to their being an homage to another game....
The Sound
Solid! The music is non-obtrusive, and sometimes even enjoyable. I play this game with the sound up, always....it manages to add to the mood rather than distract from it, and again, that's no small feat given the severe sound limitations of the NES. Sure, guns sound like "PEW! PEW!", but the grappling-hook-arm-thingy sounds appropriately clanky and metallic. Explosions sound solid too.
Again, level 5 is the one where the music stands out the most. Level 5's just a pretty b!tchin' level, I've decided.
The Gameplay
OK, bear with me here, as it's the gameplay that transforms Bionic Commando from "pretty decent" to "change of pants amazing".
Rule #1: You cannot jump. Ever.
Rule #2: You must figure out how to use your bionic arm to get you through any situation that might call for jumping.
Rule #3: YOU CANNOT JUMP.
It's funny how a supposed limitation can lead to one of the most engrossing examples of video game mechanics I've ever been privy to, but not being able to jump forces the player to start pushing the creativity buttons in the brain. "Do I do the diagonal hook and try and swing across the gaping hole? Or do I hook going up and try to find a way vertically?" Such questions present themself every step of the way, and it'll take smarts and patience to figure out the best way through any given puzzle. The arm also provides the potential for some pretty snazzy last-minute saves--falling helplessly down a pit? Send that arm out, looking for something! Anything! Next thing you know, you could be grabbing onto a ledge, a fantastic save that not only allowed you to keep playing, but also made you look really f*cking cool in the process. It's little things like that that make a game stick with you.
Our bionic hero can pick up items as he goes along, grabbing what I think are supposed to be bullets (but actually look like little cans of spinach...related to Popeye, perhaps?), and some bigger things like new guns, life filler-uppers, and communicators. Communicators allow you to get information from your allies, and wire-tap your enemies at designated communication sites--pick the wrong communicator, however, and the messages become garbled and impossible to understand.
There are also overhead scenes, which happen when you run into one of the moving trucks in the map-based stage select screen in the game. The overhead scenes are the only remaining vestiges of the original Commando, and they don't last long--however, they are incredibly important, as destroying large targets in those scenes leave little badges, which you can pick up for continues.
And you'll need continues. The game's not the toughest I've ever played, but no way can I beat it without the benefit of a little continue action.
Yes, this game ROXXXORS MY SOXXXORS
It could be for the replay value--you learn more of the story's ins and outs as you play more often and learn to pick the right communicators for each level. It could be for the thrill of making one more snazzy move with the bionic arm, satisfying the video-game thrillseeker in me. Or, it could be for the sheer visceral pleasure of blowing up Hitler and watching his head explode, perhaps the most gruesome scene ever shown in 8-bit Nintendo history (I swear, it practically scarred me when I was 11). I don't know what it is, but even now, 14 years after it was released, Bionic Commando still has me coming back to it, over and over again. It's a classic in every sense of the word, and should unequivocally be recognized as such.
Two bionic thumbs up.
Recommended:
Yes
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shilmafone
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Member: Just Another Mike
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