Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a man named after macaroni and cheese told the people of Hartfordius that he would bring an army of strong men (in tight pants) to their city. The emperor of Hartfordius broke bread with the macaroni and cheese man, and they agreed that a fabulous stadium would be built in the land of Hartfordius, where great champions (in tight pants) would battle on verdant fields throughout the autumn and winter months.

Alas, the macaroni and cheese man was devious, and the emperor was both a simpleton and a crook, and the deal fell through. No stadium would be built in the land of Hartfordius. Instead, the macaroni and cheese man built a fabulous new stadium practically on top of his old stadium in the quaint village of Foxborough, about 100 miles away.

The people of Hartfordius were angry, and saddened, and some even said that they would not cheer for the brave gladiators (in tight pants) hired by the macaroni and cheese man. But the handsome and strong warriors (in tight pants) battled bravely in the new stadium built for them by the macaroni and cheese man, and they became the champions of the world -- not once, but twice, in just three years. And the people of Hartfordius (at least, the true fans) forgave the macaroni and cheese man (mostly) and loved the gladiators (in tight pants) ever more.

And so it was that Hartford did not become the new home of the New England Patriots, and instead, Bob Kraft built a shiny new stadium in his old home of Foxboro, where the Patriots really belong, called Gillette Stadium. The merger of macaroni and cheese and razors has proved to be a successful one, with the Pats winning their first and second Superbowl Championships EVER in seasons played in their new stadium. And best of all, it's a great place to watch an NFL game!

WHAT HAPPENS AT GILLETTE?
Well, mostly, the Patriots kick butt. For instance, last Friday night I had the pleasure of watching my Patriots destroy the pathetic Philadelphia Eagles. But other stuff goes on here, too. Notably, Gillette is the home field of the New England Revolution, a Major League Soccer team. The Revolution plays from August through October, hosting other American soccer teams. Check out www.revolutionsoccer.net for more info on the team.

Gillette also hosts concerts and other events on occasion, but not in the fall and winter.

LOCATION
Gillette Stadium is located on Route 1, near the intersection of Route 140, in Foxboro, Massachusetts. The stadium is very near to the intersection of Interstates 95 and 495, which makes it convenient to get to from most anywhere in New England.

PARKING
There are two basic choices for parking: stadium and private. Stadium parking is plentiful, and costs $35 for cars. The parking lots open 4 hours before game time for Patriots games (2 hours before New England Revolution games and 3 hours before other events). You can also park your RV, bus, or limo in the parking lot for $125 to $200.

Private parking lines Route One on both sides of the stadium. The rates at these lots range from $20 to $40 depending on their distance from the stadium and whether you can be blocked in or not. Generally, the private lots are safe and there is nothing wrong with parking there. However, I have always found the stadium lots to be better for ...

TAILGATING
After all, what is a football game without a tailgate party? Many fans set up in the parking lot as soon as it opens, with elaborate facilities including tents, full-size grills, tables and chairs. The tailgating begins well before game time, and often continues after the game. It can take well over an hour to get out of the parking lots after a game, so many ans just give in and party until the traffic abates.

The tailgating is friendly and family-oriented, in most cases. You will see kids tossing around a football and groups mingling with their neighbors. On our most recent trip, we forgot our folding chairs, and the nice folks in the SUV next door loaned us some. (They had room for like 50 chairs in that thing.) Drinking is allowed, and prevalent, but the crowd does not usually get too rowdy.

Now, onto ...

THE STADIUM
Some basic facts, from the www.gillettestadium.com website: The stadium seats 68,756 people, but accommodates more through the use of standing room tickets. There are apparently 46 concession stands plus numerous little food carts placed around the Stadium, and of course those guys that carry the beers and snacks around their necks.

The stadium has three basic levels of seating: 100, 200 and 300 levels. 100 is on the field; it goes from row 1 to row 38, all the way around. One the sidelines, the top 4 rows are covered -- a good thing to bear in mind if you attend a December or January game there.

The 200 level is partially taken up -- from about the 20 to the 20 yard line -- with the "club seats" and boxes, which are the fanciest most expensive seats in the place. You don't need to know about those. You'll never be able to sit there.

The 300 level is, well, waaaaay up high. The good news is, there are only end zone seats in the 100 level, so if you sit up high, at least you will have a good sideline view of the action.

The stadium is equipped with two HUGE scoreboards, one in each endzone. One is larger and includes more information, like scores from around the NFL. Both have massive "jumbo-tron" screens showing replays of the action as well as live footage while the plays occur. The stadium website says the screens are each 48 feet wide by 27 feet high. That's one big TV. Or should I say two big TVs.

Generally: It's big. It's pretty. I like it.

THE SEATS
This place has GREAT seats. Nice, comfy molded plastic. In the lower levels, each seat has a cup holder in front of it, which is pretty nifty. (I'm not sure about the upper levels; never sat that far away....) The "club level" seats are even fancier -- touted by the Patriots as the widest, most comfortable seats in the NFL. I don't know about that, having never been able to afford to sit in one, but I'm sure they wouldn't lie...

THE FOOD
It's stadium food, what were you expecting? Basically, the concession stands are each just variations on the others. There are hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken tenders, fries, sausage and peppers, peanuts, nachos, popcorn, hot pretzels. The usual. None of that weird nouveau stadium food, like shrimp cocktail or some such nonsense. REAL FOOTBALL FOOD. The food is not spectacular, but it's not terrible. We had a good hotdog and a disappointing sausage and peppers last time.

The stadium also has McDonald's outlets, though why anyone would eat McDonald's at a ball game I do not know.

PRICES
It's expensive to see an NFL game anywhere but Arizona these days. (I think tickets are free to Cardinals games if you agree not to boo the home team.) Patriots tickets range from $49 to $99 a seat, which is steep but not outrageous. The real problem is getting tickets. Most of the seats are held by season ticket holders, and the wait for new season tickets is about 50,000 people. Seriously. So your choices are limited. Regular season single game tickets go on sale through Ticketmaster in June, but it's so difficult to get through that you may not be able to get seats that way. Ebay is the more common solution. Expect to pay about double the face value for decent seats, more for a hot game late in the season.

Food prices are, likewise, expensive but not outrageous. A hotdog is $3.50. Chicken tenders and fries is $7. A beer is $4 to $7 depending on what you order. Which reminds me. Budweiser is the beer of choice at Gillette, but you can also get Sam Adams, Coors Light or Bass.

A program will cost you $5.

The "Pro Shop" stands are actually reasonably priced relative to outside establishments. T-shirts are $20 or so. Official jerseys run close to $100. You can get lots of knock-off gear on the streets near the private parking lots for much cheaper. A plastic garbage bag with a hood will cost you $5 and rip immediately, so bring a poncho if you think it might rain.

FACILITIES
Ahem. The bathrooms are an important element of any great stadium, particularly for the female fans. Gillette has plenty of bathrooms -- so there are never any lines -- and they are kept clean. I have not been in the mens' rooms, as you might imagine, but my better half says they are "fine" -- whatever that ringing endorsement means!

SECURITY
You can't bring it with you. Period. Women can bring small handbags but nothing larger than 8" by 11". All handbags are searched and all entrants are patted down on entry. Once you're in, stay in, because there is no re-entry.

Even well before game time, during warm-ups, you can not enter the seating areas except where your ticket indicates your seat is. If you have a standing room ticket, you cannot enter any of the seating areas.

Now, that being said, it appears that after half-time the rules relax significantly. Some ushers don't check tickets at all late in the game, and you can get a good seat for the last quarter at least.

No video cameras. No telephoto lenses. No booze, no outside food, no weapons, no umbrellas, no air horns.

However, you may bring in still cameras, banners, flags, seat cushions, and binoculars. Last winter, when the temperatures were ridiculously low, they permitted people to bring in blankets and a few snow shovels to dig out their seats.

ADAM VINATIERI IS THE GREATEST KICKER IN THE HISTORY OF THE NFL
Adam Vinatieri rocks. You can see him at Gillette Stadium.

PRE-GAME ACTIVITIES
The stadium gates open at least two hours before game time to all ticket holders. This is a great time to see the players up close. If you have a lower level seat, you can walk all the way down to the front row of your section and watch the players warm up. However, you will not be permitted to enter another section.

CLOSING THOUGHTS
Yes, I wish the Patriots had built a new stadium in my hometown of Hartford. But they didn't. The stadium they did build in their ancestral home of Foxboro is beautiful. The crowd is raucous and enthusiastic without (usually) being nasty. If you love football, check out this stadium. You won't be disappointed.



Recommended: Yes

Parking Availability: Busy But Manageable