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Make them Pay You!!May 21 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line A helpful tool to teach lessons about money and what happens to money when you don't do your job.
That's right, if you're willing to fork over money to pay your kids, be more than willing to take it all back (and sometimes with interest) if they don't do what they are getting paid to do. About a year ago I wrote an Epinion entitled "I'm not paid to the Mom" screaming the virtues of how I'm not paid to do work around the house, how I wasn't paid as a child and how I would NEVER give any of my four kids one dime of allowance to do what is expected of them. Brief pause while I laugh - ha ha ha ha. Ok that done with, you can only imagine what I am about to say - this hard head has changed her view - of course when life deals you a jumbo reality check you do begin to question just how you are raising your kids and could anything be done better. I'm leaving that Epinion up, because on some level I still believe what I wrote, but I also know that as things began to slide in my house something had to be done to make it right again. I have four kids, tons of toys, a brand new house that looked like hurricane central and no energy to do anything about it. My husband kept saying, "don't worry about it." On some level I know that's true, but when people stop by unexpectedly no one ever whispers, "boy that husband keeps a dirty house." I had children who were full of good intentions - we'll feed the rabbits (we promise), we'll pick up our toys (as long as nothing good is on TV), and we'll do well in school (up until this year that was always a no brainer - my kids did their best). They didn't get an allowance, but might get some extra money if they did extra stuff like clean out the basement storage areas or help with the gardening (catch was they couldn't ask if they'd get paid or the answer would be NO). One day I finally got sick of good intentions (and my lack of energy to follow through). I went to the office supply store and bought four magnet boards (the kind with lines and you move the magnet to indicate something has been done). When the three older kids got home from school we sat down and had a meeting. I just said this is how it's going to be from now on: 1) You will each have jobs to do 2) Together we will decide what they are 3) Older kids will have more jobs than younger kids and as they get older they will get more jobs 4) There will be no complaining about the jobs you have as you are deciding what to do 5) You will do these jobs each day without being reminded and they will be done before the agreed upon time 6) You will be excused if you are really sick 7) You will each get an allowance however 8) If you fail to do what is expected of you, you will owe me part of your allowance and if you chose to blow off lots of jobs, you may actually end up owing me money at the end of the week (so you better not spend money before you get it, and you'd better bank some in case you owe me more than you earn) Each child had the jobs written on their magnet board and the board was hung in their room. As each task is completed they were told to move the magnet. If the task isn't completed by the chosen time (bed made before you leave for school) the magnet is taken away for that day and money is subtracted. You can either settle your debt each day (if you have money saved) or have it deducted from you allowance. If the same magnet is taken away several times in one week (toys left on the floor), then the toy will be taken away and you will have to "pay" to get it back. Of course not the real value of the toy, but enough to make them think about leaving it out again. They can also do an extra chore to earn it back. I think this teaches children some life lessons - like I have a job, if I don't do my job my boss won't pay me and I won't have money to do the things I like and pay my bills. It teaches them to save money just in case they have an unexpected bill. It teaches them there is a direct consequence to an action (and for some horrid reason money makes them pay attention). It also teaches them teamwork and negotiation skills (I never said they couldn't ask someone else to do the job if they promise to do something for them - I just said it had to get done). As for the school thing - like I said up until this year we had excellent students, that is until my oldest girl hit middle school and decided it was more important to be popular than smart. That didn't bode well with us (since she pulled straight A's the first semester). I decided I would pay for grades (nothing big, but the catch was the penalty for not making the expected grade was double or triple the amount for the expected grade). So when she thought I was joking a brought home a very crappy report card she owed me big and since she couldn't pay up I tacked on interest (nothing outrageous but enough to sting). After that lesson guess what her grades are this semester? I will also add that next fall grades will not get paid for, the lesson has been learned (or at least we hope so). Overall, I am now thinking an allowance may be my best friend - if used correctly and not just paid no matter what. It teaches children to budget and make decisions based on consequences. It may not be the best way, but a year after my initial thoughts it is working for me.  |
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