Screw Romance, Let's Do It! May 24 '01    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music The Dirtchamber Sessions, Vol. 1 by The Prodigy From $11 Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 The Bottom Line for the more licentious listener... Candlelit dinners, flower petals scattered throughout the house, dancing to the old crooners... sure, it has its moments. But sometimes you want to send the message of what you REALLY want, without all those romantic overtones masking your lust. So I give to you... Kim's "All I Wanna Do is You" Mix* (alternate title: "The Rabbits Have the Right Idea") Let's Get It On -- Marvin Gaye Somehow... don't even ask how... this song got mistaken for some sort of romantic little ditty. Um, hello?! Have you listened to these lyrics, people?! He wants to get his groove on! Make sure to place this toward the start of your mix, as later on you will want things with a harder, faster beat. Why Don't We Do It in the Road -- The Beatles The title sums it up perfectly. While there are a few other lyrics in the song itself ("no one will be watching us"... and maybe some other stuff that I am currently forgetting), the whole purpose of this song is to say "I want you, and I'm not willing to wait till we're in a more appropriate environment." Sexy, baby! Showerhead -- Eve 6 It's not at all romantic, which makes it perfect for this mix. Any possible misinterpretations of the mix's message should be made clear by the inclusion of this song (along with a few others). The lyrics are rather bitter and jaded, much like you may be if your date was expecting an evening of wine-ing and dining when you popped the tape in. I loved you while he was in you in the shower Did in joy and ecstasy your eyes begin to water... Lady Marmalade -- LaBelle Although this song should probably be disqualified due to its recent remake by 4 pop hoochies, its original form rocks my socks. Plus, I have a thing for french speak... especially that I can understand. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? The City Has Sex -- Bright Eyes Okay, so it's not really a very sexual song, but it does say sex in the title, doesn't it? Besides, it's got a good sexified beat to it. Deal. I've Got a Boner for Xmas -- Nerf Herder In case your ladyfriend and/or boytoy are getting a bit nervous by your advances, toss this one on quickly to lighten up the mood. I mean, what better to break the ice than a song about sticking it in a stocking? Ain't Too Proud to Bed -- TLC I owned this tape in fifth grade. I remember I would actually lay next to the stereo when I would listen to it, so if my mom were to knock on the door, I could turn it down before she could hear what they were saying. If I need it in the morning or the middle of the night I ain't too proud to beg, no! If the lovin' is strong then, you got it going on and... I ain't too proud to beg, no! Closer -- Nine Inch Nails Yes, it's predictable. But what kind of sex mix would this be without it? ADIDAS -- Korn For humor purposes, I would have to go with the radio-version of this song. Why? Because "humping" is a fun word. All day I dream about sex All day I dream about humping. No Sex Until Marriage -- Front 242 By now, you should be fornicating with gusto. Hence why a booming voice saying "No Sex Until Marriage" is awesome. Besides, doing things you shouldn't be doing is exciting, or something. Let's Talk About Sex -- Salt 'n Pepa You might want to put this one on toward the beginning of your mix... after all, the later it shows up, the less likely you're doing any talking. A timeless classic. I Wanna Sex You Up -- Color Me Badd Spelling things wrong to be cool is stupid. So is this song. But it deserves a spot on this list. Rough Sex -- Lords of Acid This song actually denounces romantic things such as candlelight, roses, summer nights, etc. Perfection. I think about pure sex Deep sex Hard sex Rough sex! Be My Friend But Be Naked -- Josh Dodes Band If you've caught VH1's Bands on the Run tv show, you've heard bits and pieces of this song over the last few weeks. It tells the story of having a crush on your friend, only to have them hit you up for sex. Classy. Of course, you always run the risk of scaring off your potential lover with your forwardness. Should this happen, toss these on and take a long, cold shower: I'm too Sexy -- Right Said Fred I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks -- The Bloodhound Gang Divinyls -- I Touch Myself *This list is unordered, so number them how you see it fit. I am not nearly enough of a seductress to pull this mix off, but if you are, more power to you. Let me know how it goes.

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