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Red Vines, Rootbeer, and a Quarter ~*~ A Legacy of LoveJun 18 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The pearls we possess today and the keys for tomorrow exist because of the generations before us. Let us respect and honor the elderly.
Much attention is given to the positive and negative aspects of childcare. Unfortunately, such is not the case with regard to elderly care. In a toss away society the elderly often succumb to wasteland. Not at all appreciated for the legacy they provided or the countless roots they planted. Sometimes merely becoming wards of the state, awaiting the inevitable. This doesn’t have to be the case! Perhaps by sharing our experience, a thought process will be provoked toward realization that the inevitable precedes and inspiration toward possible solutions. Memories from childhood conjure up often. Perhaps one of the more perspicacious occurrences was the infrequent – but appreciated – visits from Grandpa and Grandma. They lived approximately four hours from my childhood home. Their arrival was always planned, anticipated, and eventful. Grandpa spoke with an accent, frequently responded with “yep, ah uh, mmm yep, ah, uh”, and most always had a faint smell of an automotive repair shop. Routine was a given for Grandpa. One part of that was the gifts he presented upon arriving at our home. He presented to my sister and I: red vines, rootbeer (purchased from a small convenience store just outside of his hometown), and a quarter. *Perhaps one of the reasons that to this date I am fond of red vines, rootbeer, and quarters.* This act of kindness was always appreciated! Money was very guarded by Grandma, so it was quite a privilege for Grandpa to be able to do this. Many other images paint a palette of memory regarding my relationship with Grandpa and Grandma. I still remember the aroma of Grandma’s breads, pies, and meals. Grandpa operated an automotive shop from a detached garage, and spent endless hours tinkering in there. Grandma read with us, baked with us, took us swimming at a local lake, went on walks, gardened, and much more. Grandpa seemed to even out Grams uptightness at moments, and always shared a contagious laugh. Although I am certain they had their moments of difference, Gramp and Gram persevered the test of time and remained together until Grandpas passing. However, that was because of their children – my Father and his brother. I know watching his parent’s age wasn’t easy for my Father. I do wish to express how much I admire him and his brother for teaming together to ensure the well being of their folks. Thank you Dad, you are making a difference! Grandma had an unfortunate accident in 1990. She was performing some home repair – fell backwards off of a ladder – hit her head – was air lifted to a hospital – spent days in a coma – and was never the same. When released, Grandpa insisted on home care for her. The state provided care; they met her immediate needs. Grandpa and Grandma seemed happy. Grandma was vaguely aware of family, but still maintained adoration for Grandpa. In 1995, my Father received an alarming call that informed him Grandpa was ill but ignoring it (the call came from a concerned worker). Turned out that Grandpa had colon cancer. He had suffered massive blood lost, surgery was done, but now Grandpa just didn’t seem the same. This incident brought forth our families awareness to some oddities transpiring. It was now thought that these workers had been stealing from Grandpa and Grandma. Because it was now realized that Grandpa was struggling with dementia, he was being temporarily cared for at a nearby hospital. An alarming call came through to my Father, informing him that a hospital worker witnessed one of my Grandmas care takers (she had come to visit Grandpa) making sexual advancements onto Grandpa and that she was putting her hand into his pocket attempting/succeeding in stealing his $20. This could be a long tale. Let me summarize it by letting you know that we later realized the theft was an ongoing process that started almost immediately after this woman and her sister were employed by the state to care for Grandma. Allow me to also let you know that it took a combination of my Father/Mother, Uncle/Aunt, and myself informing Adult Protective Services multiple times prior to an allowance made for the family to make changes. You see, those women conspired and fought to keep their advantageous jobs. And given that the town was so small, it was difficult to break through the barriers of falsehood lying amidst the thieves. Finally approval was made to initiate a change. My Uncle and his Wife found a wonderful place close to their home (now they would be 15 minutes from Gram and Gramps versus the two hours previous) that would allow Grandpa and Grandma to room together, bringing some of their own furniture, and providing them with the utmost care. When Grandpa passed away two years ago, Grandma was moved within the same establishment to reside with a friend. Family continues to visit her. Sometimes she vaguely recollects who is visiting, other times she is oblivious. Nonetheless, with family 15 minutes away, frequent visits ensure she is well cared for. One element remains; I admire my Father for continuing to unconditionally love his Mother! Final Thoughts I admire my Father and his brother for allowing Grandpa and Grandma to stay in their homestead as long as possible. Neither can be faulted for not realizing the crookedness of the women caretakers. From the immediate appearance, everything appeared okay. Perhaps if a watchful eye had been kept on the grocery tab, the theft there would’ve been caught. Maybe the antiques missing from the numerous outbuildings could have been noticed. One might say that the missing funds should’ve been perceived. I like to view the whole situation like this…. Those women know what they did to a prominent couple from their hometown. They have to live with that. My Father and Uncle were persevering in a manner that their parents wished for … to be together in their home, as long as possible…. To be together till death do they part. I will do everything within my ability to respect my parents wishes, and to make certain they are well cared for. As I age, it is certain my children will provide this for my husband and I. What needs to change? The screening and supervision of elderly care workers! The pearls we possess today and the keys for tomorrow exist because of the generations before us. Let us respect and honor the elderly. Thank you Dad and Mom for allowing me to realize this importance! This is a belated entry to the “Older Americans Month” write-off hosted by ed_grover. Thank you for the opportunity to partake! Please take a moment to read the following: AdaDavis, Angelabar, argonut, Aruzenchin, BeeCharmer, bleuchance, Bluehawq, Dave_Corbit, ed_grover, egab01, eplovejoy, fjbpab, frazzledspice, Free2Be, hadassahchana, jankp, jo.com, julliette, KateTPZ, kurt_messick, Lisa_J, LordBalfor, Macondo, MrsNormanMain, Nfp, Nobody_knows, Prepoia, pambo, phineaskc, prettyinpink, psychovant, scmrak, Stephen_Murray, Straight-up, tekki, wanbi_gleska, and Wovengold. Angelabar has designed a special Web page for this write-off that will make accessing the participants much easier. It is located at: http://www.pronetisp.net/~anjuliz/older_american.html  |
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