Athlete's Foot: A sXeJustin special report.

Jun 19, 2001

The Bottom Line Hi, I'm sXeJustin. And you may remember me from the Diarrhea special report.

Hello, my name is Justin. And today, I'm going to warn you about the dangers of an ailment you might not give much thought to. What am I talking about? Athlete's foot.

Until recently, I was a lot like yourself. I believed myself to be invincible. Ah, the arrogance of youth. I had more important things to worry about, like girls, and motorcycles, and having a "good time". I didn't have time to worry about Athlete's Foot.

As a matter of fact, I'm not even an athelete. I had gotten it into my head that only athletes could get Athlete's Foot, and I was NO ATHLETE. I laughed at the jocks and the foolish foot ailments they were likely to receive. Little did I realize that Athlete's Foot is an indiscriminate killer.

While Justin M. Ogden was no great partaker in sports, what I did have was physical education, and this required me to change my shoes and socks every day into white athletic socks and some sporty runners. One day, in the damp, smelly locker room, I contracted Athelete's Foot.

I didn't notice it right away, but later in the evening I noticed my feet were incredibly itchy, and when I removed my socks to take a look, I noticed that they were red and chafed around the toe area. I was shocked. I was frightened.

My friends didn't want to hang out with me. For an entire week, I was shunned. Pool parties were thrown and schemes were constructed to make sure I didn't find out and drop by. I was uninvited to sleepovers. It was like I had leprosy.

Finally, I began to combat athlete's foot by keeping my feet dry, washing them well, and applying Tough Actin' Tinactin (tm)! After a few days, the effects dissipated.

So, I survived my experience with Athlete's Foot. But to help others avoid the pain I went through, I've assembled a list of five healthy Athlete's Foot tips.

1. Change your Socks.
This is important. Wearing the same socks more than a day is a recipe for disaster. Look people, socks aren't too expensive. I think you can afford to change your sweaty, fungus ridden little foot covers once every twenty four hours.

2. Be careful with your bare feet.
If you're going barefoot, or have to change your socks, be careful of sketchy areas. A locker room is a very common place to pick up Athlete's Foot, probably because they are frequented by athletes. Those of us who are normal folk are prime candidates to pick up germs. Just be mindful of what your feet are touching, and be careful.

3. Ditch the holy socks.
Look, unless you're the Pope, there's no reason for you to have holy socks (ha ha)! Bacteria can creep up through that hole right into the ripe underside of your feet, and that is a bad thing. As I said above, socks are cheap. Buy some.

4. Tinactin: It works to prevent.
If you're a member of the YMCA or something and visit regularly, you can apply Tinactin to your feet to protect them from Athlete's Foot before you contract it.

5. Tinactin: It works to treat.
When I had Athlete's Foot, my first intention was to scratch my feet obsessively. While this felt good for a short amount of time, I soon looked for a more permanent cure. Luckily, I found Tinactin in the medicine cabinet. After giving my feet a good wash and applying the Tinactin as recommended, things started to look up! Tinactin - It worked for me!!!

Well, there you go. Athlete's Foot is no laughing matter, and don't fool yourself into believing that just because you're not a athlete, you're not going to contract it. Well, listen here you snot nosed little brat: ATHLETE'S FOOT DOESN'T GIVE TWO SH*TS WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE A SKATER, A PREP, A GOTH, A PUNK, A RUDE BOY, OR A LITTLE EMO WUSS! ATHLETE'S FOOT IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY KILLER!

So beware, and follow these instructions to prevent and treat Athlete's Foot: The deceptive killer.

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