Oh, TechnoDyke, where were you when I was young and confused? (Pride W/O)
Jun 25 '01
The Bottom Line Are you a woman who loves women? Can you turn on a computer? You may be a TechnoDyke! And if you are, you're in for a lot of fun.
I have two reactions every time I click into www.technodyke.com. Okay, three.
First, I'm really jealous.
Second, I am amused.
Third, I think the world might just be okay after all.
What is a TechnoDyke?
Let's back up a little and talk about what a TechnoDyke is. According to founder Stacy Bias, "If you love women and know how to turn on a computer, you're probably a TechnoDyke."
Bias, a self-taught web diva, originally intended to create a home on the web for lesbians who either worked or played in the fields of technology. That's why the site's slogan is "The Gathering Place for the Web Savvy Dyke!" But as is so often the case, TechnoDyke has taken on a life of its own. It has outgrown the limited confines of geeky dykedom.
TechnoDyke.com has become a community of all kinds of women: lesbian, bi, transgendered; those who dream in HTML and those who don't even know what HTML is.
And that's great.
What is TechnoDyke.com?
At first glance, you might think TechnoDyke is just another women's site: It has horoscopes, advice columns, dream interpretations, forums, a dating service, celebrity news... all the things you'd find just about anywhere.
But there's a big difference: Attitude.
Right from the start, before you even read word one, you'll notice the in-your-face colors and graphics. The background screen for each page is a solid, vivid color: shocking blue, tangerine, hot pink, lime green, lemon yellow. A different dyke cartoon face stares straight at you from the top of each page: DivaDyke, with her purple hair and cat’s eye glasses; BookDyke, in pink glasses with her blue hair in a bun; AngryDyke (the avatar for the forums), with her black hair spiked and her green eyes snapping.
When you do begin to read, what a refreshing shock!
Right off the bat, I noticed the incredible diversity of women. While I expected TechnoDyke to be a lesbian site, I was surprised and pleased to find bisexual women and transgendered women there – and not just there, but welcome. Having experienced the squabbling that can go on when lesbians and bisexual women get together, I was amazed by the courtesy, respect and understanding these women give to each other.
Here are a few items from the June 2001 edition to give you a taste of what I mean.
The month's features are listed on TechnoDyke Headquarters (the home page). An interview with Gaye Adegbalola, a member of the three-woman blues group "Saffire – The Uppity Blues Women," gets top billing. Adegbalola discusses segregation, coming out late in life, standing up for what you believe and the beauty of the blues.
There’s an interesting first-person profile of Dyke of the Month Rachel Venning, co-founder of Babeland.Com, an on-line sex toy store and information center on sexuality.
There's also a poetic wrap-up of the Portland PrideFest, written by Bias in "Dykster Seuss" style, and a column on "Taking Back the Playground" from the bullies by re-writing nursery rhymes to make them "more appropriate for a culturally diverse population." Trust me, the rhymes have some bite.
Fat Girl Speaks! – a regular column – discusses procrastination and using weight as an excuse to get out of doing what scares us. Here's an excerpt. I can't imagine the number of action words I've tacked the phrase "When I'm thin" at the end of, or "I can't wait until I'm thin so I can..." at the beginning of. Such a red light... such a roadblock. Being fat has always been the consummate excuse for me. It can get me out of doing anything and everything I'm scared of. It keeps me in a state of daydream by putting everything that seems possible WAY off into the future.
Diva Knows Best: Advice for the Rest of Us, is probably my favorite regular column. To give you a taste, Diva’s page includes the following exhortation: "Give me your poor, your tired, your completely screwed-up masses. I'll take alllll that melodrama, remove emotion and libido, apply common sense, empathy and a bit of humor.. and give it back to you in a far less intimidating package."
And that's just what she does. For instance, in "…something about a loveseat," Diva answers a question from a woman who who has "fibbed" to her new long-distance partner and come to regret it. Diva compares the budding relationship to the construction of a loveseat. Take a look for yourself; the comparison works. Diva always makes her point, creatively and compassionately.
The forums are another of my favorite areas. Divided into five categories (General, Community, Lifestyles, Culture, Self), they include topics ranging from gender issues to spirituality, dykes with disabilities to what’s on the “boob tube.” In every thread I’ve read so far, openness, honesty and compassion are encouraged. The forums feel like home.
Why I'm jealous...
When I stumbled onto TechnoDyke, I'd already resolved my own sexuality issues (well, mostly). After years of struggle, I'd worked through labels (straight, bi, lesbian) and come to grips with the fact that I'm basically a lesbian with bi tendencies. Then I got married. Now I'm a lesbian with bi tendencies who is married to a person of the male persuasion -- and monogamous.
Sound confusing?
This is why I'm jealous. During all those years when I was trying to sort things out (basically, since I was 10 or so), there was nothing like TechnoDyke to help. The Internet didn’t exist, and in small-town South Georgia I had very few sources of information and zero approval. Once in college, I did find myself in a community of gay friends, but I remained confused through my 20s. If I identified as straight, I felt I betrayed myself. If I identified as lesbian, my attraction to men didn’t make sense. If I identified as bisexual, lesbians didn’t trust me, and we won’t discuss the reaction of most straight men. Yuck.
The women who frequent TechnoDyke.com generally seem much younger than I am – from their late teens through their 20s. These are exactly the years when it is most important to find a group of people who don't judge you, who don't make you feel weird if you express yourself or ask questions, who make it safe to be who you are – who don’t demand labels.
TechnoDyke feels like a safe place to be.
Why I'm amused...
When I hit TechnoDyke, I know I'm going to laugh at something. The women there, both columnists and users, are incredibly smart and funny. Sarcasm rules – but in a nice way.
A good example is the weekly feature LezboZen by Mochi Saru (translated: rice cake monkey). Each week we get new words, sounds, aromas, visuals, tastes and tactile sensations to meditate on. This week’s sounds: “Searing flesh, my own even with a puff of moisture, steam rising, caught on the broiler again! Cooking is dangerous!” This week’s aroma: “Searing flesh, yep, you guessed it! My own, sunlight when bounced off fish belly white skin causes searing flesh.” This week’s tactile: “A fresh octopus tattoo on my girl's right breast, fiery red, puffed up, poisonous, erotic and angry!”
Why I think the world might just be okay...
Because sites like TechnoDyke exist, and exist freely. And because of all those wonderful women out there who are so different and yet share so many of the same problems, questions and wisdom.
But here’s the trouble: TechnoDyke needs financial support, and it doesn’t seem to be forthcoming. Bias, who works full-time for a well-known e-commerce firm, does most of the coding and designing herself. Her writers are mostly volunteers. More than 1500 unique visitors frequent the site every day – 30,000 total each month. Bias has asked frequent users to donate $1 per month for the continuation of the site. I urge you to consider doing so if you visit and enjoy being there. The place is important to me, and I sure hope to see it stick around.
~*~
This review is a contribution to a Gay Pride Write-Off that is running concurrent with the annual celebration of LGBT culture and resistance. The write-off was organized by ed_grover and Stephen_Murray. Argonut was generous enough to create our Web Page. The page has links to all participants and is located at: http://mynook.com/writeoff/?WID=1
Please read the entries by the other fine writers listed below.
AdaDavis, Bleuchance, ed_grover, eplovejoy, erik_kosberg, frazzledspice, hadassahchana, hashal, Howard_Creech, hvojr, jiahong, jkkelley, juliette, kamau, kuuleimomi, lernerj, lustylady, Macondo, mangiotto, Mr.Eyore, MrsNormanMaine, MuseMelpomene, NFP, naphtalia, nobody_knows, pageclot, phineaskc, prettyinpink, psychovant, ricardo_ramos, Sordid-1, Sloucho, solleks, Stephen_Murray, telynor and tlimjoco.
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wovengold
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Member: Kristin Summerlin
Location: Two Rivers, Alaska
Reviews written: 34
Trusted by: 45 members
About Me:
Life's too crazy. Be back someday...
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