Gateway to a Sucker Punch or: How I was Brainwashed by the Cow Cult
Jul 07 '01
The Bottom Line Gateway's small-town, friendly image falls flat when the (micro)chips hit the fan.
To err is human. To crash is machine. When a complacent tech-support manager tears out your heart, chucks it in the garbage disposal, and flicks the "ON" switch, it is unforgivable.
You signed our service contract. You authorized us to take any action we deemed appropriate to service your computer. You've waived your rights to take any action. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do, and you can't do anything about it.
Four years and the words of the Gateway Tech-Support manager still echo through my brain. Four years and the loss of my computer still grieves me. A million years, and Gateway will long be dust, but the vibrations of my tortured cry will haunt the deepest pockets of the silent universe.
Get real, you say? It's just a computer? My opinion I'll defend if you'll here my story to its end:
Welcome Home, Friend
I was lost. Lost among full-color magazine ads with big red prices slashed for a limited time only. Lost among research opinions of fastest, most-powerful, sexiest computer of the year, month, century, millennium. Hard drives and dollar signs, Apples and lemons, discounts and add-ons. I didn't know which way to go.
That's when I found Gateway. The simple, downhome image of good country people doing honest work lured me in. The voice of Gateway was a young southern girl, smiling, welcoming you into the "Gateway home." I remember opening my black-and-white cow spotted-computer box and thinking of all of the proud, honest USA workers that had put this big machine together. Sure, the heart of the computer -- the motherboard and microchips -- was probably forged by children in Malaysian labor camps, but that didn't matter. What I saw was the loving care of the American people. The great tradition of American industry, served proudly through Gateway. By the time I had browsed the Gateway website, seen a few more commercials, and spoken to some genuine Gateway customer service representatives, I was transfixed. My worries disappeared. I would easily trade my money to be part of the family, to feel safe and secure, to have a "friend in the business." I was ready to drive to Iowa for a glass of sweet motherboard milk fresh from the computer farm.
Marketing versus Reality
At first things were grand. I set up my computer with the color-coded plugs and Gateway's quickstart card and software made using the machine a breeze. I configured my machine and settled in quickly. I began to create many documents, feeling safe and secure -- "Who needs a backup drive?" thought I, "When there are Gateway computers around."
Things were rolling smoothly until, a couple months after the purchase, my computer began to crash. The screen turned blue and coded white lettering appeared, informing me there was some internal error. I was puzzled. I used my computer for surfing the internet and word-processing. How could there be an error? The blue screen glitch was coming more often, now every day, now every half-hour. I was annoyed, but I wasn't worried. I had Gateway's Customer Support (I even paid extra for the Premium Service Plan). The blue screen was not an annoyance. No, it was a perfect opportunity to test my shining customer service plan.
The tech-support line was entertaining. I listened to the friendly Gateway girl some "moo-moo" music while I was waiting for about twenty-five minutes. When the tech-support rep came on, they told me that there was an error with the Windows operating system. Just delete this file and you'll be okay.
I wasn't. I called back. After another twenty-five minutes of music, the rep said yes, there is a problem with the windows operating system, but you'll have to completely reinstall windows. After a few days I completed the painful reinstallation of the Windows operating system. The problem was still there, but I was tired and disillusioned with my customer service.
A few months later, I tried again. This time the representative said that I had a virus. "Buy a virus program and scan for viruses," the smiling voice of Gateway said. I bought the best virus program available but no viruses were detected. "You have a virus," Gateway insisted, "Backup your data files and delete everything. Then reinstall all your software." I didn't download strange files, I used my computer for playing games, surfing the internet, and word-processing, but somehow the errors were my fault. I had to spend weeks backing up and rejuvenating my ill machine. I was losing faith in Gateway.
The Horror!
After spending weeks nursing my system back to health, the blue screen crash dissipated. Months went by and my machine worked fine. Somehow the computer seemed to move slower than it was before; maybe because my faith in Gateway's tech-support had faded.
I had had the computer for a year-and-a-half when it went black. I pressed the power switch and the operating system came on, the Gateway logo would flash on the screen, and then -- darkness. No response. I played with it for a few minutes and it came back on. What a relief! All of my data files were on the system and I had not backed them up for months. But I could only get into the DOS command mode; Windows did not start. The next day, I had the same results. First I could not boot the system at all, then I could access my files through DOS only.
Desperate, I called Gateway's tech-support line. "Take the computer to a service center -- they'll fix your machine." My Volvo station-wagon became an ambulance. I rushed my machine to the service center. I clearly explained the problem: sometimes the computer did not boot. I could usually access my files, but I could not get into Windows. "Don't worry," they said, "we'll have it back to you in a couple of days." I waited and heard nothing. Finally about, a week later, I called Gateway's service center. "Your computer will be ready this afternoon," they said.
When I picked up my computer, they told me what they had done: my hard drive had failed so they trashed my hard drive and gave me a brand new shiny Gateway hard drive. What a brilliant solution! If it's not working, throw it away and stick in a new one. Oh, your dog Buster is sick? No problem, just bury him and buy a new Buster.
"But what about my files?" I asked. "I'm a writer. I have pages of material on my hard drive."
I spoke to a manager. "Your hard drive has been taken away," she said. "I'll see if I can get it back, but I wouldn't count on it."
"But I don't understand," I said. "I told you that I could access my files. I just wanted to be able to get into Windows."
"Our diagnosis was that you needed a new hard drive," she said.
"Why wasn't I warned? Why didn't you consult me before ripping out my drive? It's not right!" tears came down my face. I recoiled, air sucked out of me like I had been dropped a thousand feet. Then, the words of the true Gateway came. Not the down-home honesty of a rural American company. The brutal coldness of a global corporation:
You signed our service contract. You authorized us to take any action we deemed appropriate to service your computer. You've waived your rights to take any action. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do, and you can't do anything about it.
I went home. I called the Gateway support line, trying to find somebody high up in the company, anybody, to hear my complaint. Sorry, friend. You're screwed.
The white box with the new hard drive was meaningless. I gave my computer away and bought a different computer with a different brand name.
I promised something to the friendly people in "Gateway Country." I will never buy another Gateway product again, and I will tell everyone I know what poor service I received.
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Epinions.com ID:
greenboat
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Location: Lost
Reviews written: 15
Trusted by: 18 members
About Me:
Every man's filth smells sweet to him. -Erasmus
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