Taking the Brat Out of The Rug Rats
Jul 13 '01
The Bottom Line Ignore, Ignore, Ignore, I can't say this enough. Never let the child have the upper hand. People hate being around children that misbehave.
I have 5 children, 10 grandchildren, and having said that, the temper tantrums I could tell you about, but I will not. We have all watched the scenario play out in the grocery store or in the evening at home with our own children.
A list of things sure to start a temper tantrum
Take a tried hungry child into a store and then when he reaches for that candy bar tell him no.
Watch a mother that isn't consistent with a child and before you leave the store there is sure to be a TT.
Take three or four children with you to the store when they start running around like a chicken with its head cut off and you yell stop running. Temper tantrum.
These are just a few examples. Let’s not kid ourselves. Children know how to push our buttons, even the smiling little toddler that can barely walk, knows how to get what he wants from mommy and how to do it in the least amount of time.
What are temper tantrums?
They are the ways that our children have devised to humiliate us in front of other people. They happen at home when company comes in. At the grocery store (there is always a crowd there), restaurants, toy stores any place where there are people. I mean what is the use of wasting all that energy on throwing a TT if no one can see it. Some tantrums take the form of screaming and flailing about rolling on the floor; others are subtler and infuriating, they consist of whining and crying until the parent feels like pulling her hair out.
What can you do about our little darling’s flings into independence and acting?
Home, these TT are usually easier to deal with. Put them in their room until you have calmed down and they have had a chance to be ignored. Be consistent about what ever you do.
Never take a tired hungry child anywhere if you can avoid it. If you can't then at least take some back up with you.
Example: I went with my daughter and her three precious little ones, ranging in age from 4 to 7, to the grocery store. Everything was going well until Her little five year old boy decided he wanted to run around the store, playing how many people can I run into. She called him back and told him he had to walk beside her or he could not have any candy (bribe). He walked for a few minutes then decided he did not really want her bribe anyway and off he went on another tangent, nearly missing an old lady holding a cane.
My daughter seemed oblivious to this child running and romping. I very politely called him to me and told him that he had to walk beside us and behave. If he did not he would pay the consequence of going to the car with me and sitting there until his mother was finished shopping. He thought it over and I could see his little mind hard at work trying to decide if I was like his mother and just talked to here myself talk. He had it all figured out in a few minutes and off he went again. I told my daughter that the child and I would be waiting in the car until she was finished with her grocery shopping.
I promptly went and picked up the little hellion (but I love him) and holding him like a sack of potatoes we made our way out of the store, he didn't go willingly, he screamed and pummeled me every step of the way. When we got into the car he begged and begged to give him another chance I told him he had all the chances he was going to have. He never stopped screaming. When his mother finally got finished and came to the car and gave him the candy bar (reward for being bad) I calmly took it away from him and told him that he had misbehaved and he did not get a candy bar for this reason.
Needless to say, I wasn't his favorite grandmother for a while, but anytime after that, I never had any trouble taking the little angel shopping.
What can you do to stop a TT before it gets started?
If you see your child getting frustrated and you are out in public, try and distract him. Let him help you if you are shopping find something special he can do. If you see the fit he is going to throw is because he is tried or hungry, then take a break with him. Find a place to sit and have a cup of coffee for you and a juice for him, talk and pay him a little attention. If this doesn’t work then take him home.
If you are home just, do not acknowledge the temper tantrum. My oldest child drove me crazy by throwing fits when he couldn’t have his way, he would hit his head on the floor repeatedly (no wonder the child is dingy sometimes). I worried myself sick about this and told his doctor what he was doing, bless this doctors heart, I have never forgotten what he said, don’t worry if he hurts his head he will stop. That sounds simple doesn’t it? I listened to the doctor and instead of watching and trying to get him to stop damaging himself, I ignored the behavior. Sure enough one day he hit that little head on the wrong floor and never again did he bang his head.
Things you can do to stop TT
Ignore them, I can not stress this enough. Put them in there room or you take a break outside what ever it takes. If a child gets no attention when he is throwing a fit, he eventually will stop. Before anyone starts criticizing me let me explain I am talking about plain little TT not the ones that can and sometimes do indicate a troubled child.
One of my daughters took her children and her nephew who is my oldest grandchild to the store. She told them all before she went in with them that any misbehavior on their part and she would leave and take them home. She never even made it to the store and she was back with three surprised children who were put into their rooms. She asked me to watch them while she went to the store. She has no problem taking them anywhere now.
Show some common sense with your children. If one is holding his breath, what is going to happen, he will either breath, or he will faint and then breath. Ignore and be consistent.
One Final Thought
People do not like being around children that throw tantrums. They may not say anything while they are around you but when you leave I can guarantee that your child will be labeled a brat. It is hard to find babysitters for children that throw tantrums. I have even refused to keep children that acted like this.
If you have a hard time justifing ignoring or dealing with tantrums do it for the child.
Diane Sartain
Copyright © 2001
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Member: Diane Sartain
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Every day my children play is a good day. :)
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