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It is obvious . . . (Reply to this comment)
by mrlarry
that you know how to handle children! I bet that you are their favorite grandmother when you are not disciplining them!
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Nov 04 '01
4:38 am PST
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Re: Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Thanks for the comment and reading.
Diane
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Oct 18 '01
3:48 pm PDT
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Reply to this comment)
by k1j2g3
You have done every parent on this site a service by telling it like it is! I am so tired of parents who are weenies when it comes to disciplining their children. Parents who threaten and never follow through with their threats. Children who have gotten so used to their parents' yelling, that they ignore it and continue with their bad behavior.
Good for you that you did not sit back and let your daughter raise a brat! Even taking away the candy bar she was about to hand to him.
Both of my children knew from an early age not to act up in the grocery store...and I end up with relatively great shopping experiences.
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Oct 15 '01
7:50 am PDT
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Re: Re:+Great+Review! (Reply to this comment)
by CindyJean
This changes things completely.
Understanding this portion of the situation makes your actions 100% justifiable!
Thanks for taking the time to e-mail me personally and not take what I said out of context. I appreciate your maturity!
Friends,
Cindy
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Jul 17 '01
10:41 am PDT
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Re: Great+Review! (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
CindyJean, I can understand your point of view. However I did not override my daughter. She had already told him if he misbehaved he could not have the candy. I just reminded her of this and took the candy away. She did not think I had overrode her.
At the time this happened she was going through a lot and was living with me. My husband and I were trying to help her get a handle on the children, as they were running roughshod over her, she asked for our help. At that time in her life she was depressed and would not have remembered what she had told him. We always backed her up and she backed us up with the children.
If you are in a situation where everyone is living together, you have to treat this just like you would when a husband and wife live together with there children. If one says this and the other does not back the partner up, the children have a hand hold from which to manipulate effectively.
I hope this explains a little better and thank you for the comment.
Diane
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Jul 17 '01
5:44 am PDT
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Great Review! (Reply to this comment)
by CindyJean
This review has some awesome info about tantrums, and well deserves the VH I gave it.
I must, however, respectfully disagree with something you said in your review.
While your grandson had behaved horribly and your daughter was very foolish to reward that behavior with a candy bar, I personally feel you were wrong to take it away.
Right or wrong, good or bad, he is her son and she is the one to make the choices.
I know I would come unglued if my mother or mother-in-law were to ever override a decision I made for my children, whether it was a bad one or not.
Again, this was a great review. I just disagreed with you a little bit. It didn't affect my rating, just my opinion.
I enjoy your work and will continue to do so!
Friends,
CindyJean
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Jul 16 '01
2:39 pm PDT
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Re: Great+review... (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Thank you and I agree when parents have to leave their kids at daycare, it is easier to make the day care the bad guy rather then take the responsiblity theirselves. Which all goes back to guilt.
I always told my children that I was not perfect and I made mistakes but I had rules they had to follow weather right or wrong.
Diane
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Jul 16 '01
8:49 am PDT
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Re: We+both+posted+TT+on+the+same+day:) (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Maybe long distance ESP. I enjoyed your review JO.
Diane
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Jul 16 '01
8:46 am PDT
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Re: Good+Advice,+Especially+When+TT+First+Begin (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
I was very interested in the book, although grown now I have a nephew that has what I call an explosive personality. I have to read that book. Thanks for the comment, and I enjoyed your review.
Diane
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Jul 16 '01
8:45 am PDT
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Re: Excellent+advice! (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Even one child is a big job. For everyone it is a learn as you go process. Our poor kids are the ones that suffer our mistakes. Thanks for the comment.
Diane
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Jul 16 '01
8:42 am PDT
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Good Advice, Especially When TT First Begin (Reply to this comment)
by education1
By the way, thanks for reading my review of The Explosive Child...For ten years, my daughter and I have been reading these kinds of advice (and many more) that just didn't work for Elizabeth. However, that doesn't mean they don't work for most kids. One of my 20 month old grandsons has started temper tantrums and my daughter-in-law tells me she just ignores him. Because of so many similarities to Elizabeth's personality, we are holding our breath that he will learn to deal with frustration as most children do.
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Jul 15 '01
5:25 pm PDT
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Excellent advice! (Reply to this comment)
by shurie
Too bad kids don't come with an instruction book! For me, it's a learn-as-you-go process. It sure helps to get tips from people like you with so much child-raising experience.
With your 5 children and 10 grandchildren, I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or offer my condolences! That's a BIG JOB. But it seems to me they're lucky to have you.
Lee
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Jul 14 '01
10:28 am PDT
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We both posted TT on the same day:) (Reply to this comment)
by jo.com
and I say ignore too! We must be on the same multi perception sensory level :) as Gary Zucav might say. jo
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Jul 14 '01
12:50 am PDT
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Great review... (Reply to this comment)
by kamel622
...and I agree with you 100%!! I think that children are losing a lot today...with parents that don't know how to say 'no' and mean it! What mixed messages kids are getting.
I find, in the daycare I work in, that so very often parents don't know how to set limits...and will defer to us. Hard and fast rule is no toys from home...EXCEPT on Fridays, it amazes me the parents who don't want to tell their kids that...and make us remind them that they are not allowed to bring toys, food etc. from home unless it is Friday. Making us the 'bad guy' so to speak.
Tantrums can be embarassing, but I believe the really good parents, grandparents, aunts etc. understand completely when they see someones child having one in a store. I would far rather hear a child have a tantrum, than to watch them wear down their parents and end up being given into.
Keep up the great writing....kath
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Jul 13 '01
7:46 pm PDT
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Re: I+always+thought, (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Yes guilt is the main reason that most of us let our children get by with what they do. We just are not behaving in the best interest of our children when we let them get away with murder.
Diane
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Jul 13 '01
7:13 pm PDT
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Re: Your+daughter+bought+him+a+candy+bar????? (Reply to this comment)
by disartain
Our children don't always behave with their children like we think they should. No she still hasn't learned, although she is getting better. LOL
Diane
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Jul 13 '01
7:09 pm PDT
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I always thought, (Reply to this comment)
by amknight
"my children won't be like that!" Ha! ;) It is how you respond, though, that really does make a difference. One daughter loves to throw fits, during which she stops, screws up her face, and drops immediately to the floor crying, for no obvious reason except that the world isn't exactly as she wants it. I make certain there is no immediate danger in her tantrum spot, and I just leave her there for a bit. You helped lessen the guilt I feel - thanks!
I'm with Bridgette... you mean she still bought him a candy bar? Hmmm... food for thought, I suppose.
-Angie
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Jul 13 '01
2:18 pm PDT
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Nice review! (Reply to this comment)
by AliventiAsylum
I am truly amazed by the parents of other kids I see when I'm out with my own. Quite often they make their parents look like total fools as they run circles around them while the parents stand there trying to reason with them.
Patti
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Jul 13 '01
1:11 pm PDT
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Nice review! (Reply to this comment)
by AliventiAsylum
I am truly amazed by the parents of other kids I see when I'm out with my own. Quite often they make their parents look like total fools as they run circles around them while the parents stand there trying to reason with them.
Patti
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Jul 13 '01
1:11 pm PDT
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Your daughter bought him a candy bar????? (Reply to this comment)
by jnbmoore
Hmmmmmm.....
Sounds like she needs time out.
She didn't put two and two together?
Nice review!
Bridgette
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Jul 13 '01
11:23 am PDT
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