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Thoroughly amusing and educational (Reply to this comment)
by martytdx
I enjoyed reading this - can I steal the idea for a frat boy version? (Oh, the stories I could tell...).
Great write-up and good advice -- Marty
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May 10 '02
1:44 pm PDT
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Terribly amusing (Reply to this comment)
by KnightRT
Even the third time through!
Among your best,
David I
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Dec 27 '01
9:40 am PST
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How did you do that?? (Reply to this comment)
by hadassahchana
I came over to be wildly entertained, and of course, I wasn't disappointed.
However, about halfway through, I realized that once again, this review was not only really funny, you snuck in a boatload of really useful advice as well- only without ramming it down anyone's throat. Brilliant, and this ought to be handed out in those useless packets at freshman orientation. If I'd found anything this good in mine, I might actually have paid more attention to the parking rules and regs., before I got the five pounds of tickets...
Hilarious review - especially coming from someone who survived a stint in McMahon! (I did, too- a summer's worth was far more than enough!)
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Jul 31 '01
7:12 pm PDT
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comment replies, round two (Reply to this comment)
by jkkelley
Great to hear from all of you, and muchos thankos for all the nice things you've said. I didn't imagine this review would gain this much readership but I'm certainly happy about it.
juliette -- Alex and I both bow deeply, fezzes smartly tucked under arm and wing. Considering you are an Epinions '99er that's some of the highest praise I've been given. Thank you, kind lady.
John -- best of luck and skill in school. I suspect it hasn't changed much in twenty years. It will, however, surely change you as it did me. May it be the place where you find friends you'll have for life, as it was for me.
Fez_Monkey -- ah, but you were in Berkeley, and that makes up for a lot. Likewise on the partying--I would have shared my private stash of Murphy's Irish Whiskey with you. As for Pam, I haven't been in touch with her for many years, but if I encounter her, I promise I will give her your e-mail address as well as a brief verbal puff piece on your behalf. What, after all, is the Web of Trust for, if not that?
badkittyM -- the RFs? I loved your essay on Von's; the simple fact of baring your nalgas as a means of offering a farewell salute is pure class. Welcome to my world, and I'm sure Alex will come to realize in time that you do not consider him dinner. (You gotta forgive the little guy. Natural instincts and all. He thinks we're in the jungles of northern Brazil and that I'm a big parrot of his flock.)
S-1 -- naturally, I owe the cool hat inspiration all to you (Fearless Leader Number One) and to FM (Most High Exalted Pope of the Conspiracy). I especially liked the title you chose.
jk
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Jul 24 '01
11:22 pm PDT
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This is THE most (Reply to this comment)
by juliette
(Very) Helpful review I have EVER read at Epinions. You rock.
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Jul 24 '01
7:47 am PDT
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Thanks, JK! (Reply to this comment)
by MrReEvolution
Excellent advice for a person on his way to college this fall! Thanks!
John Dunphy
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Jul 23 '01
6:51 pm PDT
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Ah, Thos Halcyon Days Of College (Reply to this comment)
by Fez_Monkey
Several things leapt to my mind as I read this.
First: You were lucky. Down in Berkeley we were very fortunate to even get one year of Dorm housing.
Second: I'd have like to party with you, cowboy.
Third: Is Pam still around, and can you put in a good word for me?
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Jul 20 '01
11:22 am PDT
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blah blah blah title blah blah (Reply to this comment)
by Sordid-1
Valuable life lessons thoughtfully dispensed by a man with a cool hat.
What more could a guy ask for?
Sordid-1
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Jul 19 '01
6:21 am PDT
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general replies to comments... (Reply to this comment)
by jkkelley
A lot of the fun of this review was reminiscing, and it seems I've inspired a few of you to reminisce. Thank you, one and all, for every comment and kind word. You never fail me; may I never fail you.
sumo_ -- we had an equivalent to that roomie, the Gill Monster, who was a tackle on the Huskies. While he never ran around naked (hoo-raw), he also didn't have to put up much with being told how to live his life. I eagerly await your Epinion on this topic--penned by you, it would be a guaranteed great read.
Diane -- ah, my contemporary. I remember those first terrified days of college before age 18. Delighted that I brightened your crappy day!
Jim -- I understand. Circumspection is wise in some cases. BTW, mcgina won the Peeing Pool. She was only off by five hours. She has some very interesting review ideas! Thanks to you, also, for having been such a great sport about it all. I had no doubt.
Adam -- actually, I don't think Harcourt drives. He really had few problems of any sort, except for those he manufactured for himself. He wasn't a bad guy, just grumpy.
Mr. Holmes -- I've mellowed somewhat, luckily. And thank you, once again, kind sir. May you discover a new and electrifying jazz musician this day.
zenhues -- *much laughter* It's folks like you who make Epinions an interesting place. Keep that hot dog warm, sir.
Donna -- I'm looking forward to reading it, and seeing a little into the enigma.
Karen -- you know, in college, we often meet some of the best people we'll ever find. It's always fascinating to watch them grow and develop, and to see if you grow together or apart. The girlfriend whose place I sacked out at and I are long parted, for example, but one of her high school friends became one of the two best male friends I've got--next year we celebrate a generation of continuous friendship. To give you an idea of it, it was only about five years ago that he 'came out'--and it merely brought us closer. I didn't mention it because I didn't want to sap everyone out, but part of the inspiration for my essay on David Kopay's wonderful book was this dear friend whose friendship has taught me so much.
Dr. Steph -- ah, you were wise even in your undergraduate youth! I'm not sure if Pam ever got taken care of. I truly did feel sorry for her in that state, but if there's one thing that would have scarred her, it would have been a drunken swain passing out at the wrong moment. Or that's my take, anyhow.
Dana -- that I don't doubt. Now you can see the level of stuffed-shirtedness I had to put up with. He didn't even like juicy fantasies--talk about a dull fellow! Glad you stopped by.
purplewiz -- you're welcome. That I make you laugh is a source of great joy to me.
TPK -- awww. Or should that be 'awrrrr!'? Thanks, and may you happen to be in Red Square some sunny summer day looking down toward the fountain as the clouds part to reveal a clearly defined Mt. Rainier. With your camera.
mattjoe -- with 20/20 hindsight, there are many things I could have done. It really was a wasted opportunity in a lot of ways. I think part of what stopped me was that, being obviously a) crocked, and b) far less able to hold her liquor than I, there'd be an element of taking advantage there even though I too was close to being on my lips. That or I was just feeling really lazy. (See what rooming with Harcourt can do to you.)
Mike -- you know, it was really interesting the next morning, seeing a blush that transcended all melanin. Pam was a bit embarrassed. I wish I could say that I came up with a really witty observation, but the reality is that I simply accepted her apology. I am a spud.
CLAriSSa -- yeah, I got around a bit, probably too much. I didn't even mention some of my nuttier activities, like firing pop bottle rockets at police cars from the balcony, shelling Haggett Hall with tennis ball cannon, and the vodka jello incident. You were wise even then.
shockwave -- thank you for your Peonesse, which was short but firmly delivered! I shall strive to improve my titles.
Lynn -- all in a day's work. If I cause a few snorts, I did my job.
Bryan -- I have since read yours and it's of your usual informative quality. The roommate process is so educational--even if the lesson conveyed is 'get your own place'.
Pam -- not as bad as I could have been!;) Actually, I suspect that Harcourt grew up to be a therapist. The idea is, however, a little frightening--though probably no more frightening than the idea of the dorm drunk growing up to manage the computers that manage $4 billion in investments.
DAnneC -- I can't help it, but if it makes you feel any better, I'm going bald on top and all the former head hair is taking root everyplace else. If you will slow down, I may soon catch up to you in aging.
Freak -- will you please autograph the bill? And thank you. Or 'ta', as I believe it's said. Lesson: always buy cheap keyboards.
jk
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Jul 18 '01
12:16 pm PDT
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the things we endure (Reply to this comment)
by sumo_rhino
I once had a roommate who was 6'2" and 280 pounds. And he was a blackbelt.
He was voted Most Likely to Be Naked by the other inhabitants of our hall . . . and he often lived up to his title.
Occasional suggestions that he wear something were usually met with some martial arts show of force that left the suggester pinned in an uncomfortable position by a big naked guy.
I got a new roommate.
- sumo_rhino
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Jul 18 '01
5:44 am PDT
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You are an absolute riot (Reply to this comment)
by Yzerman
I so look forward to reading your reviews and stories. I had a really crappy day today and this is just what I needed.
By the way, I graduated in '81 at the age of 17, too.
Diane
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Jul 17 '01
7:59 pm PDT
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A Dangerous Topic Indeed... (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
We would have had a lot of fun. That's all I can say because the election is only 15 months off... .
Jim
Hey! Who won the pool?
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Jul 17 '01
4:54 am PDT
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Never had this experience (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
But if I had, I'd want you for my roomie.
We'd still be hung over.
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Jul 16 '01
10:19 pm PDT
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I think Harcourt's real name.. (Reply to this comment)
by phixed
is actually Ignatius J. Reilly.
He didn't have valve problems too, did he?
-Adam
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Jul 16 '01
6:40 am PDT
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Still Crazy ... (Reply to this comment)
by mike.holmes
It's great to know that you've always been crazy. Loved this non-w/o piece. Still think your stuff should be published.
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Jul 15 '01
10:07 pm PDT
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this made me gay (Reply to this comment)
by zenhues
the flowery language.
the tough but tender tone.
i am a long way from college, man.
it made me so gay i just grabbed a hotdog and put it in my bunwarmer.
thanks, professor parrot. you teach us all the way.
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Jul 15 '01
9:19 am PDT
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A Fount of Wisdom (Reply to this comment)
by proeditor
Your "lessons" are so true, especially this one, "Ultimately there will be a time at which you will have to choose to steer rather than drift. Know that the day will come, and know that a lot is riding on it."
It seems appropriate to have just read this a month before some old (and I mean old) college friends are getting together for the first time since 1976-- these are crazy people with whom I shared crazy times, and I can't wait to see them. Especially since I know they haven't become prissy in their old age!
thanks for the memories . . .
Karen
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Jul 14 '01
5:58 am PDT
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School daze (Reply to this comment)
by Dr_Steph
Thanks, Jonathon, for the merry trip through your college roommate experiences. I think I knew a few guys like you when I was in school - I tried to stay as far away as possible. :)
Wonder if Pam ever had her "condition" corrected? Poor gal...
Steph
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Jul 13 '01
1:11 pm PDT
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Most guys I know (Reply to this comment)
by levda
would be less than offended at such a phone call...
A great story!
THANKS!
Dana
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Jul 13 '01
11:54 am PDT
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I hate titles (Reply to this comment)
by purplewiz
My, you certainly had a far better time in college than I did :-). What you did was cruel and unusual and had me laughing for far longer than expected :-). I am now very grateful I only had one roommate in college (lived alone the rest of the time).
Thanks again for an informative and very funny article!
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Jul 13 '01
11:46 am PDT
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aww come on! (Reply to this comment)
by mattjoe
you could have at least gone to Pams and TRIED to help the poor girl out! Maybe she could have done something to give you a lift.
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Jul 13 '01
10:06 am PDT
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JKK (Reply to this comment)
by Sloucho
I have never been so offended by a review in my entire life.
Did Pam remember that phone call the next morning?
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Jul 13 '01
9:53 am PDT
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Great article... (Reply to this comment)
by cjrmen12
Hey Jonathan, sounds like you were a wild one. Most of those situations were the main reason I wanted an apartment by myself. I watched my sister with her manic depressive roommates and I KNEW I wouldn't be able to handle the extra stress.
Clarissa
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Jul 13 '01
8:33 am PDT
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Nice Review... (Reply to this comment)
by shockwave180
But what's with the uncapitalization of your titles? I peon you to title with a bit more professionalism! :)
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Jul 13 '01
8:20 am PDT
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As usual (Reply to this comment)
by lynnzop
You have me snorting when I'm supposed to be writing some dry, technical, dull b..s...
Thanks pal.
Lynn
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Jul 13 '01
8:03 am PDT
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College Life (Reply to this comment)
by Bryan_Carey
Living with roommates can be quite the experience! I also came from a small town (and I hated it!), but I already knew that the attitudes of my tiny city were naive and I couldn't wait to escape the socially conservative atmosphere.
What you said about "repressed" kids is so true! They either become totally rebellious drunkards when they get to college, or they hide in their rooms and never do anything social at all.
I wrote an editorial myself, here in Epinions, on my roommate experience. Have you read it? I wrote it back in December of last year.
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Jul 13 '01
7:57 am PDT
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You sir . . . (Reply to this comment)
by phineaskc
are a very bad man lol
Poor Harcourt is probably still in therapy.
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Jul 13 '01
3:30 am PDT
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1981? (Reply to this comment)
by DAnneC
You graduated from high school in 1981 at age 17? Dang if you ain't young! I enjoyed your review, but I'm sorely disappointed find that you're such a young whippersnapper. Ah well, some of my best friends are young. . . .
DAnneC
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Jul 13 '01
3:21 am PDT
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Great points.... (Reply to this comment)
by Freak369
Written with some personal interjections that made me spit my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper all over my new keyboard. You will be getting an invoice in the mail. In any event, great job! I wouldn't expect any less from you.
^V^ Freak ^V^
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Jul 13 '01
3:00 am PDT
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