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Just like boy bands, epinion puppets aren't wantedJul 13 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line You are not a pimp, and epinions is not your best girl. If you love her, stay; if not, tell the guy pulling your strings to take you elsewhere.
I may be relatively new to epinions, but it doesn't take someone with 1000 member hits to realize that the average wade through the "New opinions" section yields a vast array of stagnant sewer-fodder. In other words, sh*t. Where does most of this olfactory-offensive material originate? From the marionette masses: puppets. You know the type of review I'm talking about: This movie totally kicks butt! It's awesome!!! It has action all the way through, and ::actor's name:: totally whoops on everyone! There are also these hot chicks, you should see what they wear! They're hot, I'm serious! It's the coolest thing I've ever seen! You should go see it like right now!!! 20 stars and 5 thumbs up!! This review is screaming out, "Please rate me. Please give me a penny! I don't care about how useful this is to you, I just want a rating. If I really cared about you or epinions at all, I would take at least a half hour to write my review, and I would include a variety of well-thought-out points of informational value. But, as anyone can see, I'm just here to pump out reviews as fast as I can, even though picking up change in a parking lot would be far more lucrative. Rate me! Rate me! RATE ME!!!" A person who writes a review like this could also be another type of e-puppet -- the type that thinks something is cool just because a lot of other people do. Had they seen this movie by themselves, they may have been complacent about it; but as soon as their friends (online or real-life) start praising it, they jump on the bandwagon, quickly overusing words like "awesome" and "cool" in an effort to fit in. The next chance they get, they're at a computer, typing as fast as their grubby little fingers will move. Before you know it, wa-lah!, we have a new [worthless] opinion to sift through. Now don't think that I'm ripping on everyone that uses epinions. Certainly the money is a consideration, sparse though it may be. I know how nice it is to come back to the site in the morning and find that my number of hits has increased. The thing that separates epinions puppets from the rest of us is that we care about getting hits not just because it means money, but because it means people are reading our reviews and opinions. It's especially nice when we get comments about something that we put a lot of time and effort into. I doubt that many puppets ever check their comments; they might not even know that such a feedback/conversation forum exists. Another point I should clarify is that I don't feel that doing a review on something that has been done 576 times before automatically makes you a puppet. Certainly, many puppets would go after such an easy target, especially the band-wagon variety; but that by no means makes everyone who reviews an already-much-rated product a puppet. As long as people reading your review on said product can tell that you really put a lot of thought into it, and you present good arguments for why you do and don't like the product, you are safe from the strings that are attached to so many. The bottom line is this: who you are on epinions is completely up to you. If you want to be one of the true epinioners, one that brings insight and smiles to other's faces, one that could influence another's decision in purchasing a product, or just provide comic relief from what day-to-day life throws at us, then more power to you. I'm glad you're a part of our community. But if you want to be a puppet like any number of boy bands (i.e. Backdoor Boys, 98 Febreeze), who for some ungodly reason cause barely-post-þubescent girls to scream, then you just have to realize that we'll all scream too -- we'll scream for you to treat epinions better than a $5 whöre, or get out.  |
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