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A Few Simple Tips To Help Idiots and Experts Alike In DrivingJul 16 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line I'm an idiot when I drive so I follow idiotic tips. You should too. My idiotic tips just might be the most basic and lifesaving tips you've ever heard.
According to my mother, who generally criticizes just about everything I do, I am a bad driver. According to my mechanic, I ride my brake too hard and eventually they will fail me, and I will have a fiery and violent crashing death. So why am I going to tell you how to drive? Well, as an idiot, there are certain precautions I take to make sure I drive my best, even though on my best day you probably drive better than me on your worst day. Keeping this in mind, here are a few simple tips for the driving idiots and the driving experts. Although simple, they may one day save you from a fiery and violent crashing death. First, when driving I noticed if I wear boots (such as Doc Martins) I can't feel the petals. This causes me to somewhat lose control of my driving. I find it much easier and more comfortable to drive while wearing tennis shoes. Then, I can adequately feel the petals and better control my speed and my braking. However, I find it more difficult to drive barefoot than I do when I wear shoes. So I find tennis shoes a necessity to driving. Second, please keep your windows clear. This may sound simple, but I don't know how many people I see a day with mucked up windows. When this happens to me I usually notice that I can't see very well when I drive and am more prone to hit objects like cars and little orange cones. Although sometimes it's fun to hit orange cones, I only want to hit them when I go out of my way to do so. Third, changing CD's is usually a big fat no no because many times a driver must take their eyes off the road. There are special CD holders you can attach to your visor that just hold the CD and not the case. This makes changing CD's much easier and also helps me not to hit cars and orange cones (amazing I even passed my driving test isn't it? I did it on the first try too). These visor attachments can also come with a zipper pouch for holding papers and such, as well as a little pouch for storing your sunglasses. To explain my fourth little tip for you, I have to explain myself a little bit. I am an incredibly lazy person. My eyesight is horrible so I wear two-week disposable contacts. I'm so lazy that I barely take my contacts out. I even sleep in them. So sometimes my vision is a little blurry. So instead of taking them out to clean them, I bought rewetting drops. However, sometimes those don't always help. Although I might be lazy, and I also might be an idiot, when this happens I do take my contacts out and clean them. If you wear contacts you should do this too. And if you have bad eyesight, go get some glasses or contacts. Driving with blurry vision is just as bad as driving with mucked up windows. It's stupid, don't do it. I'm going to combine a few little suggestions for my fifth tip. Don't drive sleepy, don't drive while talking on your cell phone, and don't drive when you cry. These three things cause you to drive worse than I do. Experts have suggested that driving while doing at least two of these things is the equivalent of driving drunk (something you also shouldn't be doing). As many times as you've heard this suggestion, maybe this time you should take it into consideration. Lastly and probably the most import and distracting is driving on a full bladder. Nothing is as annoying and distracting to me as driving on a full bladder. All I can think about while I drive loaded with urine is getting to bathroom to unload myself. It basically consumes my thoughts and my soul. I know this causes me to drive horrible so it probably causes you some stress too. Please, friends don't let friends drive with a full bladder. I guess these tips are more common sense than anything. You were probably already aware of most them. The problem is nobody really thinks about these tips and sometimes they forget. So you don't have to thank me for bringing them to the surface again. Knowing the next car accident I get in is my fault and not yours is all the thanks I need.  |
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