Lie Back and Think of England!
Written: Jun 12 '05 (Updated Jun 12 '05)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Sheer heaven! The place to go to relax!
Cons: Shared facilities can cause a bit of anxiety.
The Bottom Line: Bliss! We were perfectly happy in this gorgeous country retreat!
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| andymcf's Full Review: Eastwell Manor |
I truly adore this place and, in four visits, I have worked my way up the ladder towards true, utter bliss.
The first time I went, I didn't even get to go inside - it was simply a very stunning and picturesque spot from which to embark upon a champagne balloon flight that Amanda had bought me as a present.
The second time was a delicious working lunch (that felt quite illicit) with my female boss, Lynda, in their sumptuous "Manor restaurant".
The third time was another lunch - this time, I took my wife, Amanda.
And finally, I decided to treat Amanda and baby Josh to the ultimate Eastwell Manor experience - a night at the hotel. The "Wow Factor" can hardly be better defined. Rack rates for standard rooms are about £220. Via "Late rooms", however, I managed to get bed-and-breakfast for just £69 and at that price, it would have been, well, rude not to!
Shut your eyes, if you will, and think of the Garden of England, and ignore the fact that it's near Ashford. Open them pretty quickly, though, because you're now actually driving your car, and you're driving up a quiet drive through 3,000 acres of private estate towards a beautiful English manor house that dates back to the Norman Conquest. We're talking 11th Century. It's quite something and, you are confident in the knowledge that you are about to stay in an establishment that, quite rightly, has earned four red stars and two rosettes (for food) from the AA which, as I have explained in previous reviews, is not actually Alcoholics Anonymous (and believe me, you'd need to take out a mortgage to practise alcoholism in the bar, honestly), but the UK's best respected hotel inspectorate. This places it well up in the top 200 hotels in the country.
The drive continues, and you sweep gracefully into a small gravel parking area outside the entrance. Tuck shirt in, sort out suit, straighten tie and envy the other cars. Yes - it's a smart place and I'm glad I'm not in my usual jeans and trainers until later. First impressions count, after all as, unwittingly, I am about to discover!
I stride to reception,leaving Amanda and Josh in the car, and after meandering through a fairytale courtyard area, I find myself at reception. Oh my! There's an air of quiet calm, a certain austerity, and yet a relaxing environment. In a word, it's posh. In two words, it's extremely posh. I am shortly greeted by a friendly and polite member of staff who has my booking to hand and issues a key. Not a key card, but a key. One of those metal things that hotels used to issue.
And then the unthinkable happens. She asks for my credit card so that she can swipe for an imprint for any incidental expenses. Not normally a problem.
Now I don't know if you have any friends who are practical jokers, but I do. One, in particular, has a penchant for hiding bangers in my wallet that explode when it's opened. The last time he did it, he was actually with me when it exploded very loudly in the bar at Gatwick Airport shortly after two heavily armed police officers had walked past. This time, however, I was alone, in a very posh hotel reception as previously described when the minor explosion occurred. I have a good sense of humour and found it very funny. I think, however, that exploding wallets were something of a new experience to the receptionist and, on reflection, I can't imagine it's happened to them before. I filled out my registration details in front of a what appeared to be a growing audience of staff and headed somewhat sheepishly back to the car, stifling a belly-laugh, and planning revenge.
So, that was the check-in experience. Although there are 23 sumptious rooms in the manor house itself, including suites and four-posters, we were on a bargain rate and were staying in what you might call the annexe and what they accurately call the Mews Cottages. A further 39 bedrooms are located in 1- 2- or 3-bedroomed mews cottages, beautifully renovated from a victorian stable block, a short walk from the main hotel building and we were allocated to the ground-floor bedroom in Quince Cottage (the cottages are all named after different herbs and spices), which was a delightful 3-bedroomed self-contained cottage. My only anxiety about the whole stay was that, in this situation, you're sharing with complete strangers and, whilst the common facilities are absolutely excellent (and weren't used by the other quests, as it happens), I tend to like my privacy. We got it, but then we might not have done so had we been less lucky.
We arrived at our cottage and went in. Gorgeous! Well looked after, beautifully decorated with nice carpets and gorgeous fabrics and well equipped. We headed for the bedroom, which had ample space, a very comfortable bed, a small seating area, a television with a good selection of channels and a lovely, spacious, white en-suite bathroom with two comfortable fluffy bathrobes. So nice not to have to fight over the one that hotels so often provide!
Whilst the bedroom itself was lovely, there was also a hallway leading to a communal living room. This made the accommodation, effectively, a suite, even if it was shared (though it wasn't as it turned out). There was an extremely comfortable seating area, with French windows leading out into the countryside garden. A television with DVD and video player was there, as was a coffee table with a good selection of magazines and papers. A small cooking area was also available if you wanted to be self-sufficient, and a dining table with 6 chairs was equipped with two complimentary bottles of sherry and a room service menu for each of the two restaurants. Heaven. After the explosive start to our stay, we relaxed and settled in to what was to be a thoroughly enjoyable stay.
To make the most of this hotel, you could enjoy a spa session, a massage, a dip in the indoor or outdoor pools, a game of tennis, petanque or croquet or just a relaxing stroll through the immaculately tended grounds. Alternatively, relax in your cottage and unwind. And that's precisely what we did. Even Josh got off to an early, good night's sleep. And that's something of a first.
Breakfast in the Manor Restaurant was included in the price. This is highly recommended; the food is excellent and the service is altogether out of this world. We opted, however, to pay an extra £5 for breakfast to be delivered to the cottage and it was lovely. Toast your own bread, and enjoy real pressed orange juice and very refreshing tea.
We checked out without explosions and headed home, happy that we'd finally got to stay here. I've always wanted to and I can imagine that it won't be very long before we're back. I'll just check my wallet next time!
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
andymcf
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Member: Andrew McFall
Location: Canterbury, Kent, England
Reviews written: 74
Trusted by: 132 members
About Me:
Maths teacher. Father of young Josh. See below!
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