the POLITICIAN in HEAT
Jul 19, 2001
Popular Products in BooksThe Bottom Line Want to make a little pocket money, or some seriously big money.
With special thanks to my two loyal readers, Mum and me Bruvva - Dad would be one but he's in his "room with a view", as he called it, his vision being impeded by six feet of soil!
You, dear reader, are about to be taken on a potpourri of inveterate wisdom - you will be truly staggered at what lies ahead, so sit up straight and pay attention.
Way, way back in October 2000, when I was but a forty nine year old pup, I waxed lyrical about my experiences here at Epinions. See, at that time I'd been here a whole eight weeks, and with that vast experience I knew it all.
But I very soon got a face like a mile of unpaved road. Things weren’t going quite to plan, the plan having been to, with little or no effort, have people from the four corners of the globe come rushing to see what could only be virtuous stuff from an individual very soon to be famous.
After all, how hard could it be for one so verbose, pompous, righteous, ethical, moral, brilliant, effervescent, articulate, humorous and yet modest, not to say handsome?
In those early days I had already been in strife with management and the other authors for all manner of things inconsequential. But I soon learnt that abuse and vilification go with the territory. Since then I have even had some pillar of stupidity dob me in for using copy-write material, which of course I didn't do. Epinions gave me a present for that one, kind of a reward. I think its called a ticket, but the Indian givers took it back!
Then, just two days ago, another author handed me the greatest insult yet, and thats saying something. The guys an Army General or thereabouts, let's just call him Chipper or x. Anyway General Chipper compared me with ....... wait for it......Hemingway!
Me old mate Ern, comparing me with him. Hells bells, he's always compared with ME! How do you like that?!? Anyway I got over it of course, well I will one day I guess. By the way, General, stay loose, only joking!
For some inexplicable reason, people don't come rushing my way - with me its all blood sweat and tears. The Epinions server doesn't know I'm here since I don’t cause enough traffic to even tickle its stomach. Now, how could this be. Here I am writing from the underbelly of the planet in good old “Down Under”, and since we must therefore always be looking up, instead of down, surely that perspective alone would be enough to put the stampede in “Rawhide” or “Bonanza” to shame.
Well, thats just the way it is. Young Nirav reckons this site gets over four million visitors a month - well where the hell are they? I sure know where they're not! Back last year I wasn't exactly as happy as a dog in a hub cap factory. I decided something was wrong and that all the hate mailers were right - but since I get more visitors than those turkeys I don't worry about them anymore.
I used to be a bit of a politician and worse, I became disillusioned which was evident from a paragraph or two I wrote during a down time - I only repeat it here to fill up space...er,..er .... no, no, to show just how futile disillusionment is.;
"What use are our Opinions? After all, are they really going to change the world or are we just egotistical, verbose individuals taking advantage of a forum to air our little more than useless views.
Of course, some peoples opinions have changed the world. People such as Leonardo do Vinci, Christopher Columbus and Albert Einstein. But what about yours and mine? Will we be remembered as these people are, or are we doomed to oblivion like countless millions before us.
I can see it now, Peter who? who was he? what did he do? Oh, he wrote a pile of opinions on Epinions that changed the world....I hardly think so.
However, it is the peoples opinions that build up the social, moral and
economic fabric of society. This becomes the overall attitude and belief
which leads to that thing we call culture."
Well, at least I came good towards the end.
The message is folks, in my usual succinct sort of way - be yourself, to hell with everyone else. If you are true to yourself just go on doing what you do, writing what you write, to the best of your ability.
Listen to well meant advice, but don't get sucked into the negativity so often displayed particularly around the forums.
Remember, Bill Gates is not under threat from any Epinions author as the worlds richest heavy breather. So enjoy yourself, thats all you need to do - there is really nothing else to do, is there?
So, how can we enjoy ourselves in the big negative environment - I don't believe we can, so keep out of it. Lets not make out we don't like lots of readers and isn't the occasional humerous or appreciative comment just the most wonderful thing on earth? Of course it is.
Put your focus on that, not, for instance, Anonymous Useless, who features in my review "In honour of the WANKA and SEWER RAT" which gives a higher than deserved accreditation for this individual pea brained creature.
And no being too damn serious. Even in a review about death, its okay to have a smile or two. Or does your religious conviction not allow this, something about the deceased being in hell or other such voodoo - I sincerely hope not.
Have a mighty damn hard think about what you want to achieve. Just to have some fun, write some controversy, write about your life experiences. Just what is it that you want to do. Everything, practically, is valid. Do you want to be the best writer, or the most popular? I don't believe you can be both, but there is nothing wrong with being either.
Want to make a little pocket money, or some seriously big money. Regrettably if its the latter you are in the wrong place. But so what, it really isn't what Epinions is all about.
So that brings the question, just what is Epinions really about. Well, its pretty simple really. Epinions is one big family of authors writing on a myriad of subjects, pleasing others and above all pleasing themselves. Is there really any more to it? I don't believe so.
Notice there is no where in any of that for the demented unofficial police and other such worthless creatures that infect the site from time to time.
A cockroach in a house doesn't make for a bad house.
And one last thing - if you get lucky as I did, you might have a Ladycynic to get you started and the pointed boot of Grandgram to keep you on the straight and narrow. These two gorgeous dolls make it all worthwhile for me, and I love them both dearly.
Enjoy, and see you in the electrons!
hhhhhmm wonder what I will write next year? I'm going to be really old then!