DefectiveTV--the Soviet Union of TV providers
Written: Jul 01 '05 (Updated Jul 01 '05)
|
Product Rating:
|
|
| Sound: |
 |
|
| Ease of Use: |
 |
|
| Picture Quality: |
 |
|
| Durability: |
|
|
| Customer Service: |
|
|
|
Pros: only sucks as badly as DoucheNetwork and Cheater Cable
Cons: the entire state of the art is governmentally incompetent
The Bottom Line: don't switch--they all suck
|
|
|
| jkkelley's Full Review: Philips DSX 5500C Satellite TV receiver |
Some years back I bought a copy of the _Necronomicon_. It purported to be this Cthulhuesque Babylonian magical treatises full of glyphs and symbols and dire warnings about monsters and demons. It did a good job of scare tactics. "There are no effective banishings for the invocations in the _Necronomicon_." I decided it was the neo-pagan's _Anarchist's Cookbook_: taken seriously only by the unaware.
Now that I've dealt with DirecTV, I see its relevance. Sort of.
We used to have our local cable provider, Charter (henceforth 'Cheater') for service beyond the hideous local channels of the Dry Cities. We bought a home, and we could choose between Cheater, DishNetwork (hereafter, 'DoucheNetwork') or DirecTV. We chose DoucheNetwork and endured a couple of years of crappiness before switching to our only alternative: DirecTV.
I'm here to tell you: if you're about to switch TV providers because your current one sucks, the one you're thinking of choosing is worse. The one you might choose after this is worse than that. Whatever you have, however cruddy it is, don't switch--you'll only make it worse.
There is no product review category for DirecTV customer service in general--looks like the DirecTV people got to Shopping.com--but we have this receiver, and it's the reason I sat down to key in this glowing review.
The worst thing about DirecTV by far is that the company is heavily compartmentalized. Listen to me, here: you cannot call the corporate office. You can not. I tried; oh, how I tried. I tried with the energy of a woman in labour. There is no way. When our Philips DSX 5500C Satellite TV receivers started frequently resetting themselves, I called to complain. "If it keeps it up, we'll download new information." They kept it up. "Oh, whoever you talked to was wrong. We'll send you new ones, should be there in about four days." Two weeks pass, and I call to ask where the hell are my new receivers. "Well, sir, another department handles that, and they're swamped with replacement orders concerning these Philips receivers."
In other words, I said, when the earlier person said they'd be here in four days, they was just funnin'. "No, sir, I'm sure they meant it." Then kindly explain to me why I still don't have them. "Repeat, repeat, repeat," which is all DirecTV customer service people do. They repeat the same crap until you go away. I wonder how they manage to avoid outsourcing their service to Manila or Calcutta.
Fine, let me speak to a supervisor. Supervisor parrots the line. When will my new receivers show up? "Sir, another department handles that." Great, give me their number. "I don't have it, sir." What? "I can't call them." You mean to tell me that you cannot call another part of DirecTV to find out information? "I can't call them, sir (repeats platitudes about how hard they're working to replace these rotten receivers)." So you're telling me: DirecTV is highly compartmentalized. I can't call the corporate office. I can't call to see if these people have shipped my receivers so I can actually benefit from the $70 per month I'm sending you people. And I can't call your supervisor. I can't call anyone else. I just have to live with it.
"Well, sir... (repeats same garbage she's already repeated several times)." *sigh* So the short answer is this: your cruddy hardware will be replaced when you get around to it. I can't complain to anyone; nothing will help. "(repeats the garbage again)." Oh, very well. Answer me one question, ma'am: why is your company so sharply divided that even its own people can't call each other? "(repeats the garbage again)." You didn't understand. You're a manager; you see the company's workings. I'm professionally curious. Why does your company do it this way? "(repeats the garbage again)" Hmmmm. Well, I can see where this is going. Okay, thanks, bye.
One receiver arrives. Hurrah! Where the other is, I don't dare ask, but one is a start. I call for assistance setting it up. "I'm sorry, sir, all our computers are down." You mean to tell me that you can't help me set up a new receiver? "No, sir, our computers will be down for about four hours. Please call back then." So you actually know nothing about the setup process? "Our computers will be down for about four hours. Please call back then."
You get the idea. DirecTV is like the Soviet Union. Whatever you want, I'm sorry, sir, you can't do that, or I can't do that, or that's not possible, or our computers are down. Just remember the corporate motto, Vern: "I'm sorry, sir." At DirecTV you will encounter stonewalling like I've never seen before in a long career dealing with business. I used to think Cheater was bad, but looking back, when I went in to speak to a human being I got some results. I used to think DoucheNetwork was bad, because their local installers were incompetent liars and because they tried to keep my money; now I'm nostalgic. This is the worst. And I'm out of options. Thus far, each is worse than the last. If evidence is any guide, whatever I might now switch to would be even lousier. I have no way out, unless I'm willing to dispense with TV.
I'm tempted.
Oh, and by the way, they were the last in our area to put local channels on the satellite. It only took about a year longer than they originally said.
If you are thinking of switching to DirecTV, bear in mind what I've told you. If they send you a Philips DSX 5500C receiver, hang tight. It will start randomly resetting itself. Don't change the remote batteries--when it seems unresponsive to the remote, it's about to reset.
If you still sign up with DirecTV, I quote from the _Necronomicon_: you were warned.
Recommended:
No
Amount Paid (US$): 70
|
|
|
|
Epinions.com ID:
jkkelley
|
 - Top 1000 |
|
Location: Ana-Tolia
Reviews written: 79
Trusted by: 308 members
About Me:
Farewell, Mr. Grover.
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.