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Re: Hysterical!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
missed this post earlier:
p.s. we LUV your writing!!!! :0 ;) :)
WE? Who are "we"?
Well, peachy. Suddenly I discovere I'm huge- HUGE-- in the "multiple-personality" demographic.
Q: if someone with MPD rates your Epinion, does that count as just one rate? Seems like it should count as more....
While I ponder this and other steaming fresh issues, thanks.
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always thinkin B (MIB# 200231)
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Apr 26 '02
7:35 am PDT
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Re: Nine months later and this thing is... (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
S54 purred:
"feeling the power of B...or was that filling the power of B...????????????"
Chill out, sailor. I ain't THAT easy.
Anybody lookin for love in all MY wrong places had best spring for a pancake breakfast first, else all you're gonna get is a big old bunch of nuthin.
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Agent B (doh, I mean "AGENT B!!!")
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Apr 26 '02
7:31 am PDT
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Nine months later and this thing is... (Reply to this comment)
by sleeper54
...primed!!!!!!!! to pop!!!!!!!
Nothing says LUVin' like Mr. Epinions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sleeper54
"feeling the power of B...or was that filling the power of B...????????????"
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Apr 25 '02
10:45 pm PDT
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Re: Mr.+Brett, (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
P.S. That yawn joke was the best single word stunt I've ever had the privilege to encounter.
Well, in that case I'll take full credit for it!
Thanks for the gumball, popeye.
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B
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Aug 13 '01
1:12 pm PDT
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Mr. Brett, (Reply to this comment)
by Sloucho
This is a very special piece of work. I didn't really read it (I'm too busy loving everybody on the site to read), but I did notice the exclamation points. They bathed me in a warm, satsisfied feeling. I felt that you revealed a great deal about yourself with those exclamation points. You used them so effectively that I'm inclined to trust you. I think you're a little misguided in assuming that the site is about YOU YOU YOU when it's really about ME ME ME and my love for YOU YOU YOU. Oops!!! I definitely meant LUV, because that definitely comes across as more sincere. Cutesy spelling and idiosyncratic punctuation are the TRUE MARKERS OF LUV!!!
P.S. That yawn joke was the best single word stunt I've ever had the privilege to encounter.
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Aug 13 '01
12:32 pm PDT
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*weepy smile* You forgot Point 11. (Reply to this comment)
by canuckyeti
Nuclear Man destroy Superman.
The Danes call it "quality",
---Handsome Dick Manitoba
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Aug 12 '01
12:54 pm PDT
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Re: Re:+The+REAL+Mr.+E-pinions,+Hunh? (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
["Huh? Wha? OOOohhh.. I see the problem-- you're confusing me with "Mr. E-pinions" (spelled with a
hyphen). HE definitely would have split this into at least two pieces, avoided humor at every turn, and included at least 3.2 pounds of whole-grain free-range Purchasing Helpfulness in each portion (the maximum allowed by law without a prescription). Color me red-faced! Mr. Epinions (no hyphen)"]
Great Scott, Holmes! Why you're absolutely right!
Do you think you can forgive my impulsive rudeness for having leapt to so inexcusable and unwarranted a conclusion as this?
Sir, it is *I*, NOT *you,* who needs to be colored red! I am therefore going to start off by making my eyes red. Oh dear! I seem to have run fresh out of "eye-reddening ashes!" Unhhhh... but I've been told tetrahydracannabinol makes for an excellent substitute. You wouldn't happen to have any I could borrow to assist me in the completion of my technicolor task; would you?
Forever-Shamed,
29th
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Aug 10 '01
12:37 pm PDT
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Re: I+LUV+YOU+TOO!!!!!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
I really like the way you incorporate wit and pointed barbs in such an entertaining and thought-out way.
Maybe I oughta go re-read this thing. It sounds way better when you describe it.
Garsh!
Thanks for the LUV!!!!
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B
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Aug 08 '01
8:04 pm PDT
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I LUV YOU TOO!!!!!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by mjfrombuffalo
This essay was fantastic. I really like the way you incorporate wit and pointed barbs in such an entertaining and thought-out way. I saw in another essay of yours that you want to write for periodicals -- well run, don't walk, to someone who will publish and PAY you, and let us know when it happens; I, for one, would love to see it.
And don't call me a trust-slut, but I'm adding you to my WOT. Looking forward to more humorous stuff
mj
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Aug 08 '01
1:09 pm PDT
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Re: Clever+Comment+Title (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
I'd really like to post a spine-jarringly hilarious comment. But, I'm shamed by your superior high-larity.
Hmph. Pretty weak excuse, Paulie. After all, your name and works are known and revered by Lufkin hoteliers, while my high-water mark of notoriety was that time I was mistaken for a gas-station attendant in La Grange. If they hadn't told me to "keep the change," I'd have complained rather than topping their tank with Premium Unleaded.
Now go write another purty Epinion. I got customers to tend to.
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B
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Aug 05 '01
9:42 pm PDT
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Clever Comment Title (Reply to this comment)
by sumo_rhino
I'd really like to post a spine-jarringly hilarious comment. But, I'm shamed by your superior high-larity.
Retort pending.
- sumo_rhino
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Aug 05 '01
1:09 pm PDT
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Re: What+can+I+say+except... (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
"P.S. I ACTUALLY read this epinion, but I haven't read the 61 comments already posted on it. Do I have time for that? "
Likely not. You'd do better to scurry instead to all my other reviews-- ignore the non-paying essays (Epinions does, after all, and if you can't trust Brisbane, then...) and click madly on my product reviews.
Hurry-- it's later than you think.
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White Rabbit B
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Aug 03 '01
10:11 pm PDT
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What can I say except... (Reply to this comment)
by gobbysreviews
I LUVVVVED this piece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I ACTUALLY read this epinion, but I haven't read the 61 comments already posted on it. Do I have time for that?
Oh well, what the heck, I haven't laughed this hard in a while, so I may as well go check out the comments--not that they'll be as funny as your piece is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Aug 03 '01
9:22 pm PDT
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Re: Aggie+hat (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Good gosh, son-- I don't go out drinkin in my fez! The autograph seekers would be all over me.
Relax. If/when we have a beer, I'll be in my Viking helmet so as to blend right in.
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B
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Aug 03 '01
6:02 am PDT
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Aggie hat (Reply to this comment)
by uncleco
I'm moving back to Houston, and was about to give you a call to ask you to meet me out for a beer, until I saw that photo of you in the Aggie fez.
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Aug 02 '01
9:47 pm PDT
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Re: Re:+I+loved+this+review!!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
It's all about you, isn't it?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Aug 02 '01
9:50 am PDT
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Re: I+loved+this+review!!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Screw the review-- WHAT ABOUT ME!!??!!
DO YOU LUV ME!!!!!???!!!
ME ME ME ME!!!
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B!
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Aug 02 '01
8:35 am PDT
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I loved this review!!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by sundogg99
Really!!!!! It was right on!!!!!!!
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Aug 02 '01
8:26 am PDT
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Re: The+REAL+Mr.+E-pinions,+Hunh? (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Huh? Wha? OOOohhh.. I see the problem-- you're confusing me with "Mr. E-pinions" (spelled with a hyphen). HE definitely would have split this into at least two pieces, avoided humor at every turn, and included at least 3.2 pounds of whole-grain free-range Purchasing Helpfulness in each portion (the maximum allowed by law without a prescription).
Color me red-faced!
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Mr. Epinions (no hyphen)
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Aug 01 '01
9:46 am PDT
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The REAL Mr. E-pinions, Hunh? (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
The REAL Mr E-Pinions would have spread this into TWO reviews, would not have been nearly as humorous in expressing his points and would have sworn undying devotion to providing scads of useful product info calculated to help the consumer make better buying decisions! And to think, I almost fell for this slick, 10-point routine of yours...
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Aug 01 '01
5:59 am PDT
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Re: Oh+man,+are+you+gonna+get+a+fat+load+of+shit+dumped+on+you+ (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Shit from where? When? Shit don't bother me none. Some folks need annoying.
Besides, anyone who'd take personal offense at anything said in this piece would first have to step forward and confess to being guilty of one (or several) of the practices which I mock. And THEN admittedly sad soul would have to rent the cajones to try and somehow argue that they are not laughably pathetic in spite of their own admission to being such.
I think it more likely that a lot of familiar folks will just somehow manage to "overlook" my little snarkfest... OR you'll start seeing the mucho bravo anonymous low ratings.
And OOOOOoooo how THAT hurts. (**sarcasm alert**)
But if anyone DOES want to get pissy, I'll be right here. If you wanna, darlin, we can dance.
=8^]
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ten foot tall and bulletproof B
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Jul 31 '01
4:12 pm PDT
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Oh man, are you gonna get a fat load of shit dumped on you (Reply to this comment)
by repulsemonkey
...but take solace in the fact that those doing the shit dumpin' will most likely be those who are the most guilty. And I think you know what I'm talkin' about.
Also, for my money, you can knock Reading Rings and Trust Clubs all ya want, but lay off the Circle Jerks.
monkey
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Jul 31 '01
3:27 pm PDT
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Re: I+was+drifting... (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Re: "looking to nailgun some VHs"
Honestly-- isn't that a satisfying verb?
"Nailgun."
Very soothing. I feel better having used it it just now.
As for fezzy monkey men... walk softly, carry a big stick, keep your immunizations up to date, and always keep one round in the chamber.
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B prepared
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Jul 31 '01
6:29 am PDT
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I was drifting... (Reply to this comment)
by imokliel
...though the Just In section, looking to nailgun some VHs to some reviews to get my name out there, and lo and behold, I stumbled upon this. Very witty concept and a great use of satire. P.S. - Fezzy-Monkey-Men can be o.k. if you give them a chance.
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Jul 31 '01
6:12 am PDT
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Re: Beer+and+cheese+goldfish? (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Re: "Nabisco Cheese Nips in SpongeBob Squarepants shapes"
Well, aren't WE all high and mighty. SOME of us don't roll around in great big piles of Income Share that give us the capitalistically piggish freedom to fritter away wealth for such luxuries as SpongeBob-shaped snacks. SOME of us are toiling away for nothing-- NOTHIN!-- and are damned glad to have snacks in the shapes of faceless disposable pets.
Hmph.
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Jul 30 '01
6:51 pm PDT
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Beer and cheese goldfish? (Reply to this comment)
by rich2003dm
How common!!!
I surf with a beer in one hand and a bowl of Nabisco Cheese Nips in SpongeBob Squarepants shapes in the other.
I'm a much classier guy!!!!!
Rich
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Jul 30 '01
5:37 pm PDT
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Re: Pants+are+for+suckers! (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Re: "You are a riot, sir. "
Did you see that footage from the Geneva WTO meetings?
Yup-- that was me.
Yup yup yup (sniff) I'm one bad hombre.
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Barney Fife B
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Jul 30 '01
5:21 pm PDT
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Re: too+many+exclamations... (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
Re: "T-Sips have more taste than Aggies"
With 'sips, it all depends on how you cook 'em,
Ags are always served rare.
As for Prettyboy Perry... some folks you just can't help.
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gig 'em B
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Jul 30 '01
5:16 pm PDT
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Pants are for suckers! (Reply to this comment)
by kellydeal
Good grief all of the excitement from the punctuation really wore me out.
You are a riot, sir.
kelly
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Jul 30 '01
5:06 pm PDT
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too many exclamations... (Reply to this comment)
by CurtisEdmonds
not enough emoticons. One must keep a balance.
I have been surfing the web for hours, now, trying to find a burnt-orange fez, with no luck. I am sure that this does not *necessarily* mean that T-Sips have more taste than Aggies -- T-Sips can be generally counted on to have a weakness for anything burnt-orange as long as it's tacky enough -- but it is a good working hypothesis.
If you have an extra maroon fez, you might be kind enough to send it to Governor Perry, who needs all the help he can get right now.
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Jul 30 '01
4:48 pm PDT
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