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Where do I start?Jul 31 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The bottom line for me is, "It will all work out!" just be careful and be there for your kid's, let them know they can always count on you.
I guess I just start? It is such a big, big, subject with so many challenges involved. Basically I think that I have done a pretty good job of taking care of my girls but, there are so many lasting issues with them being exposed to the many failed relationships that I have been in. Single moms have no choice but to charge ahead and deal with everything that may come up although, single men I think go through the same thing. But, come on honestly it is so hard to work full time, take care of kid's and any pet's and that is not even including the bill's the laundry, the day to day time that needs to be spent with kids and then try to get some sleep or maybe a day to yourself? Doesn't really happen that much at all. When a single mom does her best at trying to keep all of these things and more going well it becomes overwhelming sometimes and can be a very emotional thing. What I try to do is save some time for myself and keep everything as in order as I can and I really try to be there for my girls with any questions or problems that they may have. Luckily the father of my girls is in their lives and does spend quality time with them too, This is very important, so not really all the raising of my girls was left to me to deal with, I did and still do get help and support from their father thank god! But most issues that come up are not something that the girls would share with their dad. And as far as having a good or even a better relationship than the last few, What I am trying to do is not worry about a relationship right now and if it happens than it does and if not then not. I do have a couple prospects in mind but at all cost I will take it slow, not move in or let someone move in with me to soon, that I think has always been a downfall of mine because I do not like to be alone, but somehow, I guess from taking to much crap from controlling men, I am at the point where I will accept no more! None! Another thing I always tried to do in my failed relationships was be the one to do everything so that in my eyes they would appreciate it and want to stay but, we all know that if you are one who does everything for your mate somehow they will never respect you, It didn't make sense to me for a long time until one man told me that to my face! It hurts to hear you did this to yourself, how can I respect someone who does everything for me? Well that was what he wanted in the beginning because his last wife did nothing for him, well obviously there were many more hang ups of his that we all found out after we all spoke, ( all the x-wives and me.) So being a parent of two girls, I am trying to smart about who I choose next time, they have to understand what me and my girls have been through and be able to accept it. Which is a tall order when your starting out with someone new, but my advice to single moms is to go slow with the relationships they may have and protect their kids at all costs and try not to expose them to abusive men of any type. I can not even begin to tell you how abusive men have impacted our lives forever and how guilty I feel for letting it happen, so please remember that we do have to move on but try to really get to know someone before you bring them into your child's life! As hard as it is to read someone you must try to ensure that they are good people before you jump in and keep the faith, because for years they have said that there is somebody out there for everyone! Take care and be careful, listen and learn first!  |
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