My wife and I just returned from a long weekend at the Bahamas' uber-resort, Atlantis. Many others have described the various facilities, attractions, and accomodations available at the resort, so I am going to focus this epinion on some of the "insider" tips that we learned before we left on our vacation, and some things that we only learned after we arrived on Paradise Island.

KNOW HOW YOU'RE GETTING THERE

Our vacation package included "transfers" from the airport to Atlantis, but this turned out to be an over-crowded diesel powered bus wedged in between all the other paradise-bound tourists. Normally, this wouldn't be so bad, but the trip to the Atlantis lasts over 45 minutes (it's 21+ miles from the airport along 2-lane roads and downtown Nassau). The seats are small on the bus, and when they fold the "jump seats" out into the middle aisle, there is literally no room to move. If you can afford it, I would suggest arranging private transportation from and to the airport in Nassau -- I certainly wish we had. It would have been worth the extra money.

PACK FOR YOUR ARRIVAL DAY

Normally, inbound flights to Nassau arrive in the morning. Your room at the hotel will not be ready when you arrive, but the Atlantis provides "hospitality caverns" for you to use on both your arrival day and departure day once you check out. Not only do the caverns have showers, bathrooms, and lockers for you to use, they also have a neat gadget that literally sucks your wet bathing suits dry in a matter of a minute or two. We arrived at the Beach Tower at about 11:15 AM, and were in our shorts and walking the beach by 11:45. So, pack a bathing suit and change of clothes in your carry-on (as well as some sunscreen and sunglasses) so that you can hit the beach running.

PACK FOOD AND WATER

This may sound silly, or cheap, but I swear to you -- it's not. EVERYTHING at Atlantis is priced 20-40% over the highest price you've ever seen for similar goods and services. For 2 adults, expect to spend $20+ for a SIMPLE lunch (2 sandwiches, 1 order fries, 1 drink), and AT LEAST $65 and up for dinner. With that in mind, no matter how many people are in your group, you can save a TON of money by bringing along as much food and water as you can muster. We brought Pop Tarts for breakfast, pretzels, cookies, and nuts, and we figure we saved EASILY more than $150 in breakfast and "snacking" charges. You can bring food onto the beach and to the pools. A 12 oz. bottle of water is $2.75 (yes, you read that right) at the hotel -- we brought a CASE of 12 bottles, 16 oz. in size, that we paid $2.50 TOTAL for at our local warehouse store. Even if you have to pack an extra suitcase, you will thank us each time you see someone carrying around one of those bottles of filtered tap water for three bucks. I'll repeat a piece of advice I read elsewhere about the Atlantis - IF YOU DON'T BRING IT, YOU HAVE TO BUY IT!

GET A WRISTBAND AND A TOWEL

As soon as you arrive at the resort, make your way to the pool. You'll have to show your room key to the "guard" near the exit from your lobby onto the grounds of the resort (people who aren't staying at the Atlantis have to pay $25 per person just to walk the grounds) and find the nearest "towel hut", also known as a "Liquid Adventure Center". Show your key to the attendant at the hut, and s/he will give you your pool/beach towel for the day, as well as a colored wristband that will identify you as a hotel guest. The wristband will get you past the "sentries" that guard the various attractions and pools without continually having to flash your room key, and it's good for a couple of days at a time. You can get a fresh towel any tme by returning to the hut.

YOUR TOWEL IS MORE THAN JUST A TOWEL

Your official Atlantis pool/beach towel, we learned (the hard way), has much more functionality than simple drying of the human body -- it is your MARKER and your PLACE-HOLDER. We learned very quickly that one of the "tactics" that people use at the Atlantis is to wake up with the sun, head to the pool area, and "mark" a lounge chair in a prime location by placing one's official Atlantis towel upon it. Once so marked, that lounge chair is considered RESERVED and is no longer available....UNTIL the towel is removed.

We learned about this odd ritual on our first full day at Atlantis, when we decided to sit by the pool since there seemed to be few people lounging there. What we found when we arrived were few people, true, but EVERY chair "marked" with a turqouise-striped territorial stamp. There were no people, but also not a single lounge chair available.

Supposedly, there are pool attendants that will help you find a chair and place your towel on it -- if you can find one, grab him or her. They *will* help you. I chose not to tip any of them, since it seemed ridiculous to me to do so (and I'm not a cheap person) for simply finding me a chair. Some people did tip, though. The same protocol applies to the beach as well.

Once we figured out the game, things went pretty smoothly. But the "rules" are not posted anywhere, and no one really offered any help. With 1900 rooms, you're fighting for sun space with upwards of 8000 people at any one time. There were times I felt like Arthur Dent, swinging my towel about as if it were some kind of talisman.

MAKE RESERVATIONS EARLY

If you're planning on going on an excursion (like swimming with dolphins, snorkeling, or such), I recommend trying to arrange it with your travel agent well before you leave. These things seem to sell out quickly, despite their rather steep price. I missed out on the dolphin thing because there was only one space available -- my wife went, but I was relegated to the position of photographer. The same holds true for the 26+ restaurants at the hotel. Many of them seem to have no space available when you call on the same day. We were told several times that there was nothing available until after 10 PM, at any of the restaurants. But later, walking around the hotel, we found most of the restaurants half-empty even during the prime dinner hours. Which brings me to.....

HAVE DINNER WHEN YOU WANT

...On two separate occasions, we were able to show up at the restaurant where we had a late reservation (because they were SOOOO full) up to an hour early and still get a table. If you're willing to take a table in a less than prime location in the restaurant, then this tactic seemed to work well. We got into Fathoms (one of the "gourmet" restaurants) a full 90 minutes early simply by showing up and asking if we could be seated. At "The Water's Edge", we were seated 30 minutes ahead of our reservation. Our best guess is that many people make reservations months in advance, and then change their minds at the last minute once they get onto the resort (and see the prices???)

HOW TO EAT REASONABLY

We found the Seagrapes restaurant the best value for the money for adult dinner. It's a buffet, but at $28 per person the least expensive one. The food was OK, soft drinks were included in the price, and you could eat as much as you wanted. We ate there the first night of our trip and were pleasantly surprised at the quality of the food. We would later learn that the same food will show up at different restaurants (the $12 conch chowder I had at Fathoms showed up as part of the "included" antipasto bar at The Water's Edge on night three...) on different nights, so be prepared for it.

For lunch, we found the fast-food counters near the pools to be an acceptable choice. The grilled chicken sandwich was really good, though too expensive at $8.00 -- The Shark Bites, near the Mayan Temple pool, has a better selection of side dishes and sandwiches than the similar counter at the Beach Tower pools (we learned that one on day three, which we spent at the Mayan Temple pool). Shark Bites also offers a fresh fruit plate that, at $7.00, was actually a decent value -- fresh grapes, strawberries, pineapple, grapefruit, orange, canteloupe, and honeydew.

We ate our brought-along Pop-Tarts for breakfast, and brought snacks to the pool, so our morning meal expenses were $0. In comparison, the "continental" breakfast of juice, a croissant or muffin, and coffe was a whopping $8-$15, depending upon where you ordered it from.

THE TIP IS INCLUDED

Check your tour package or ask your travel agent as to whether or not gratuities for bellhops and maids are included in the price of your package. Ours were, but I only found that out after tipping our bellhop $5 for helping us with the bags up to our room.

On ALL food purchases, even the $8 chicken sandwich at the takeout bar, a 15% gratuity is automatically added to the check. At the "take-away" restaurants, the prices include the gratuity (though it will be a separate line-item on the receipt), but at the restaurants it's an additional cost. At first, I was annoyed by this, but I actually came to like it quite a bit -- it took all of the angst out of the last part of the dinner transaction, and I didn't have to perform any percentile math late at night. Generally, the service was acceptable, and 15% is about 5% less than I usually tip at home. The super-inflated prices more than made up that extra 5%, though.

As a guage for you, here's what we spent for meals. In all cases, we were 2 adults, no alcohol, but (except Fathoms) *with* dessert and the 15% included gratuity.

Seagrapes (buffet): $65
Fathoms (no dessert): $117
Water's Edge: $109
Murrie's Deli (lunch): $26
Shark Bites (lunch): $25

SHOP FOR SOUVENIRS ACROSS THE STREET

Unless you really want something silkscreened or embroidered with the "Atlantis" logo, you can find a much wider selection of souvenirs and trinkets in the little shopping center across the street from the Atlantis Marina. There's also a little straw market there as well. We found a bunch of stuff, at much more reasonable prices, than at the "logo stores" inside the hotels. We bought two Atlantis beach towels in a moment of weakness. T-shirts, picture frames, maps, etc. with several stores offering each.

WATCH OUT FOR "INFORMATION" BOOTHS

Anyone heading to Atlantis in 2001 or 2002 should be aware that the next phase of construction has to do with a timeshare resort being built called the "Harborside Resort" or something like that. But be prepared, because inside each hotel (as well as at the Moon Temple in the casino) there are booths marked "Information" or "Guest Services" that are nothing more than fronts for sales agents of the timeshare.

We got duped twice into being "pitched" to go to a "presentation" for the timeshares, with the promise that we could given preferential treatment for show tickets, dinner reservations, or even a spot on the dolphin swim in exchange for attending the sales pitch. They offer this in the form of a $75 certificate against your bill at the resort, or a similarly valued "comp" on the resort (golf, food, shows, excursions). Two things ran through my mind as I listened to this drivel -- first, I thought I remembered the spiff being $100 or more in Florida, $75 seems cheap, and second that I thought the tactic of labelling these desks as "guest services" and "information" particular deceiving and distasteful. A shame, really, since most of the rest of our stay was so wonderful.

So be aware -- if you need information, ask at the main hotel desk or an attendant at an elevator or door. Avoid at all costs the "Guest Services" desk! Unless, of course, you are actually interested in a timeshare condo.

WHAT WE WILL DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME

1. Arrange for private transportation to and from the airport.

2. Look into buying a meal plan for the duration of our stay instead of paying for each meal separately (may reduce the need for pop-tart and preztel packing).

3. Be more careful in applying the sunscreen. OUCH!

Have a great time. The Atlantis really is a unique and special place.







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