How to deal with a college roommate -- Residence Hall Living Aug 05 '01 (Updated Jun 22 '04)    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet The Bottom Line College roommates can be really tough on the patience, but through some work you can end up with a friend for life. Coming to college in itself can be a culture shock for even the best of students. Couple this with having to share a room with another student, and that can make the adjustment even harder. Many students come to college after living their young lives with a room of their own, not knowing what its like . They never have to go through the acceptance of living with another person in direct contact with them day and night and this is not something that should be taken lightly, because it often causes a lot of undue stress even before it happens. Sometimes, a college will give you choices, or you are also able to find a friend that you have known for a while to be your roommate. But, often times the result will be that you will be assigned a roommate based on somewhat similar interests to you. This is where the funny part comes in, because what a college considers as similar interests are either the area that you are from, or your major. They usually do not take into account personality quirks or whether you like to stay up late or get to bed early. What this can lead to, is two people ending up as roommates who have nothing in common other than being from the same state. There are some exceptions to the rule though, because a college will room you with a smoker or non-smoker depending on your preference. When I first came to college, I only knew 3 people in the entire school. What that meant, was that I ended up being partnered up with a complete stranger. He turned out to be from a neighboring city to my home-town, but the similarities ended there. I started out wanting to be an Accounting Major and he wanted to be an Architecture Major. What made matters worse, is that I like to stay up late, but he liked to get to bed early in order to get up at dawn. This turned out to be a problem for us, because that meant that we would have to try and be considerate and quiet at different times. I would have to be quiet at night, and he would have to try and be quiet while getting ready in the morning. Right off the bat, we had a couple of conflicts, because neither of us had ever had to share a room in our lives. The problem arose, because we were not able to really set boundaries regarding how we approached each other. Instead of respecting each others differences, we each felt that we should get our own way. This turned into us both being upset at one another for not doing what we each expected from the other person. After an argument, we ended up figuring out what we could do to try and remedy our situation. Much time was lost in this whole process though, and I want to explain how to save yourself the anguish of going through the same things. My first suggestion, is that you make sure that you are willing to accept the differences between you and your new roommate. You may not see them at first, but the differences can range from religious preference, to views on life, even to being a sports fan or not being one. The differences are there whether you can see them or not, and the key is to make sure that you are ready to deal with them when they arise instead of just pushing them aside to bubble up again later. Rule number one is that you have to respect your new roommate from day one. If they lose your respect later on then so be it, but to start out I highly recommend giving them the benefit of the doubt. More often than not, they will do the same for you as well. Another suggestion, is that you try and do something nice for them or to them to try and show them that you are looking to start things out smoothly. By showing a good side of yourself during your first impression, you run less risk of disrespecting one another on the first day. It stands to reason as well, that if you are nice to your new roommate, that they will at least try to be nice to you from the start as well. If I had done that to start, I think that I would have had a much better experience with my first roommate. One thing to understand, is that eventually some sort of conflict will arise between yourself and your new roommate. It may be something stupid, like what to watch on television, but it will come up soon enough. When something like this comes up, you want to make sure that you talk it out with your roommate. One thing that you want to stay away from, is spreading rumors about any problems with your roommates around the Hall or campus. This can only lead to unneeded grief, and will benefit no one. Getting a roommate is not the end of your freedom, and should not be looked at as losing your independence. I actually look at it as a learning experience that will help later on in life. Most people do not plan on ending up alone, but rather with that someone special. When that happens, you will have to share living space anyways. So, by having a roommate long before then, you are really preparing yourself for things to come. Just try to persevere through the harder times, and you may end up with a friend for life.

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