Wal-Mart [deep exhale] Even the word rolls off my tongue like liquid ecstasy. One of the best things about Epinions is that you are a faceless individual – giving you the ability to confess your addiction, vent your frustrations about bad products and make a few friends along the way. Since I’ve been on this site I’ve admitted to liking New Kids On The Block, my twisted obsession with Henry Rollins and ongoing addiction to Starbucks. It’s now time to take the next step…. I …am… a ……..shopaholic.

Wal-Mart as a whole can be considered a fantastic shopping facility – but it’s not without a few faults. If it were the prefect-purchasing establishment then I’d have no need to visit Target or K-Mart. But tell me – who can resist that red bulls eye logo at Target or the screaming Blue Light Special announcements? I certainly cannot, hence my addiction continues.

My first experience with a Wal-Mart came about three years ago when I first moved to the United States. I’d heard about Sam Walton and didn’t really like him very much. Sam liked to sell “safe” things. By “safe” I mean censored items. Stroll through the music, magazine, video game or book department and tell me what’s missing. I’ll tell you – music from groups that have a P.A. [parental advisory sticker], video games that are deemed “violent”, books that are sexual in nature [including romance novels] and magazines that are of adult content. I understand that Wal-Mart isn’t going to have Playboy or Hustler on the shelves but when they go so far as to pull Tiger Beat and Cosmopolitan off the shelves I have to wonder what’s going through Sam’s head. But I digress; I’ll get to all the good, bad and just confusing topics in due time.

Store Hours

We had several 24 hour Wal-Marts in the Southern California area but most of them have opted to close at midnight due to the power shortage, attempted robberies and lack of business during the hours of midnight and 6:00 am [when most of the stores reopen now]. Around Christmas, usually December 1st, a few Wal-Marts announce holiday hours – allowing parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles the ability to fork out obscene amounts of cash at any time of the day or night. A word of warning; around 10:00 p.m. most of the stores start night stock. This means the isles are littered with pallets, broken down boxes and floor cleaning machines. It’s usually hard to get someone to check for back stock at this time as well – since most of them are doing “go-backs” [returning merchandise to their area that was returned or not wanted by a customer].

The Goods

Wal-Mart stores carry virtually everything you could possibly want – and a few unnecessary indulgences too. The clothing is usually the first area you hit when you enter the store; women’s and teen fashions spread as far as the eye can see. As with most department stores of this nature the children’s clothing is in the back – along with the nappies [diapers], strollers and children’s accessories. The selection of boy’s clothes is limited while the girl’s section is at least three times as big.

Some of the big names in clothing that Wal-Mart carries is as follows: Sesame Street, Catalina, Wrangler, Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, Nike, Everlast, Osh Kosh, Poke-wear, Basic Edition, Levi, WWF, Nautica, Polo, Izod and about 50 more that I can’t recall at the moment. Look for the end of the season clearances to save some extra money.

So clothing isn’t enough for you? Well, read on dear Epinionaters.

Toys

Any given Wal-Mart has at least ten aisles of toys. From the .77-cent Matchbox cars to the top of the line, high ticket Lego sets. In the summer you can find a few rows of beach / pool toys such as flippers, float rings and pool toys. The toy section is a “must visit” on any trip since you never know what will be marked down. It never hurts to have a few toys stashed away when you need a present in a hurry.

Food

From soda to Poptarts ($1.99 for a 12 count box) to seasonal baking goods. Strolling this area might give you the munchies so be sure to eat before you visit. A wide variety of chips, cookies, crackers and canned goods are also available. During any given holiday there are dedicated aisles for Easter baskets and candy, Christmas baking needs, Halloween treats and Valentines Day presents for those who lack the ability to be creative. Word of warning; the Southern California Wal-Marts sell a brand of bottled water – Palomar – stay away from this. It tastes worse than the tap water.

Hardware

Surprisingly, Wal-Mart has an extensive hardware section that includes home repair, toilet fixtures, painting needs, tools, light bulbs and wiring kits, ceiling fans, spray paint [now locked in a case], hardware findings [nails, screws, bolts] and most locations have a paint center that can custom blend colors for you on the spot. Some places also have a key cutting machine however they usually close this a few hours before the store closes.

Stationary

If you have a pen fetish [no names mentioned] then you can sneak into the store and stare in wonderment at the multitude of writing utensils available. You can also find printer paper, paper shredders, lamination materials, educational tools for kids, specialty markers [Jelly Pens, Prismacolor], file accessories, small office furniture and the biggest variety of Post-It Notes I have ever seen.

Kitchen

Oh, I am starting to break out in a sweat now. This section is my true weakness. Cookie sheets, pots and pans, tea kettles, Rubbermaid products, cooking utensils and cutting boards. If you are ever shopping with me at Wal-Mart and lose me – look no further than the kitchen section. They also feature full sets of dinnerware, utensils and glassware. Don’t even get me started on the vast expanse of plastic items – spill proof cups for kids, plates and bowls – all at rock bottom prices.

Sporting Goods

Can someone please explain this to me…. Sam Walton won’t sell the Korn CD but he’ll sell guns and ammunition. The sporting section can be limited if you are looking for a specific item but they do offer treadmills, hand weights, bowling balls, rollerblades, camping equipment [sleeping bags, lanterns, coolers], fishing gear, tackle boxes and some stores have live bait. Some things you won’t find – sports drinks and sport bars. I guess Sam has an aversion to sports nutrition.

Crafts

Oddly enough the craft section is mostly material for patterns, dressmaking and seasonal items. There are a few rows of crafting items such as jewelry making, rubber stamps [most on clearance at this time], kids kits, plastic floral items and a recent addition of candle making kits. While this area is small and usually located in the back of the store you can find some good prices if you look hard enough.

Automotive

This is the only place I shop for my vehicles these days. The price of batteries and windshield wiper blades can’t be beat. Some locations offer an automotive center that can rotate your tires, change your oil and do minor automotive repairs. You can find everything from replacement rear view mirrors to headlight bulbs.

Jewelry

You won’t find the Hope Diamond here but if you need a watch or pair of earrings then this will do in a pinch. This is also where you’ll find sunglasses, purses, knapsacks and wallets. Not that much of a selection when it comes to gold or gemstones but they do have a high school ring program with Balfour and Kinset. Also, this is where you’ll be most likely to find alarm clocks, racks of junk jewelry and kids hair accessories.

Audio & Video

Usually sectioned off and protected by an alarm system, this area has electronics, televisions, VCR’s and a wide selection of telephones and answering machines. Recently they began to stock printers and monitors but the selection is limits. Most locations sell video games and consoles as well has the cheat books. You’ll also find the Wal-Mart film center her – where you can buy cameras, film, reprints or have your film developed. They have the best price and fastest service. If you elect to have the 1-Hour Service, ask them to page you when you film is ready.

Shoes

Although it’s a limited selection you have to pick from they do carry a ton of kids shoes. Men’s work boots are a big seller as well as the summer standard – flip-flops. Be sure to check the size of both shoes since some of the customers obviously can’t read and replace the shoes in the correct boxes. A wide variety of tennis shoes – if you are between the size of 5 and 8, if you’ve got big feet like me you’ll only have a few styles to choose from.

Health & Meds

This is by far the largest section behind clothing. You can buy the expensive name brand shampoo or the cheap $1.09 Wal-Mart brand. Items in this area include kids bubble bath, toiletries, diet aids, contact lens items, vitamins, feminine hygiene, hair products and a new section just for make-up. Don’t try to shoplift from this section – it has the highest number of security cameras in the entire store. Best buys: body sponge $2.09, Calgon Bath Beads $3.99, Mr. Bubble $1.99. Some locations have a pharmacy as well as a vision center. If you visit either of them ask if they are a separate facility and not under Wal-Mart’s supervision. This is especially important when dealing with returns or complaints.

Pets

If you want to see manic housewives – this is the place. I saw two women fighting over the last flat of canned cat food a week ago. While it was entertaining it was also reflective of the entire pet section. It’s poorly stocked, has a limited selection of small animal needs and is rarely manned by a competent employee. Some locations sell live fish, frogs, crabs and betas. Be warned – I’ve seen some tanks that are greener than my lawn after a week of sunshine and a truckload of fertilizer.

So, now you have the area-by-area tour of Wal-Mart. But I’m not done yet. I’ve left out some critical information.

Customer Service

If you need to make a return check to see when they stop processing them. Most in my area stop taking returns at 10:30 p.m. due to the lack of staff. If you check your receipt you’ll see the number for your store on the top portion or you can check the website for information.

If you received something as a gift and need to return it – never fear – the customer service desk will issue you a Guest Card [almost like a debit card] with the amount of the purchase on it if you don’t have a receipt.

Rest Rooms

Not the cleanest I’ve ever seen but most locations have at least two separate locations for rest rooms. The women’s room has a large area for diaper changes as well as a multitude of stalls and sinks. No waiting here.

The Snack Shop

If you hate someone please feel free to take them to the Wal-Mart Snack Center. Stale popcorn, hot dogs that are still frozen in the middle [hence the term dogsickles], soda cups with no lids, soggy fries.. and the list goes on. Sure they might try to lure you in with that big bag of freshly popped popcorn for only .99 cents or the “mouth watering” cotton candy – but don’t be fooled. The cotton candy tastes like sand and the popcorn is so bad the birds won’t eat it. If you have plaque buildup on your teeth – help is only a “soft” pretzel away.

So there you have it, my complete run down of Wal Mart – the good, the bad and the Snack Shop. With the highly advertised “Roll Back Prices” it should be the first place to stop when doing price comparison for high-ticket items. If you can’t afford something you can always use the lay away plan or apply for the Wal-Mart Card [credit card]. Since I am almost a daily shopper, I have my trusty Wal-Mart Card in hand for every purchase. Don’t ask me for the interest rate – my ex gets the bill and moans about it every month. [Poor baby]

So, now maybe you have a better understand of my addiction to Wal-Mart; it’s literally a one stop-shopping event for me. There’s no greater thrill than seeing those huge red and yellow clearance signs hanging from the ceiling, buying a large Slurpee from the self serve machine, seeing a mullet haired man picking out his Wranglers and wondering why you always get the cart with the bad wheel. I’m just waiting for a film crew to show up at my Wal-Mart and start shooting a revised Night Of the Living Dead featuring those insane late night shoppers. I’ll be the one with the cart full of kids, purple streaks in my hair sucking down a Diet Dr. Pepper.

Thanks for stopping by… ^V^ Freak ^V^


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