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Beat The Trouble Before It Starts!Aug 07 '01 (Updated Aug 14 '01) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Be consistent in your rules!
In my opinion, if you don't nip the problems in the butt before the teen years, you will have a much more difficult time. Did you ever hear of the expression "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Well this is true for the teenager as well. I will site several examples to prove this theory. For starters, my step daughter is only 10 years right now. The mouth is growing fresher and smarter as the days pass. It seems to me that as we keep allowing it, she is pressing more and more down the wrong path. The back talking is growing every time you ask or tell her do something. But, it seems Mom can never hold to punishment. So the natural reaction from the child is to try and get away with more. And she is proving this daily. I cannot put into words just how much worse she is talking back now than several months ago. I can only imagine a few years now! Which will lead to my next case. By nephew is 15. He was the same as my step child at her current age. He was quite mouthey to his parents and showed no appreciation and respect. And you know what? That's right! He is out of control. He will now call his Mom every name in the book! My wife cringes at the words he uses when they argue over something. And God forbid you tell him no! The rage and anger and no respect flies out of control! Why though? Because he never lost any privileges when it first began. His groundings never lasted and he knew it. So why stop now right? Who is in control now? Then we take one of my other nephews. He is the brother to the one I just wrote about. He is 3 years younger. And you know what? He is better. Much better! Why is that? That's right! They have grounded him much more and had taken away privileges on a regular and consistent basis when he was bad. They even took away TV shows such as wrestling when they realized he was out of control trying to act like one of them and always copying the moves on his younger brothers and sisters. He would talk to back his parents much like his older brother, but he was punished and sent to his room and had TV taken from him. He would lose the privileges of going outside or in the pool. Etc. And he is so different than his older brother now. Other small things to consider. Make their business yours! Yes they have a right for privacy. BUT! I know I hid a lot from my parents. And my mom made me aware along from a preteen that she would be aware and nose around. And when I became a teen, I was just use to it and never let it get to me. Why? Because it was nipped in the butt before it started! She didn't wait for the teen years to try and be my Mom! She was always my Mom! She didn't become Mom only after I became an out of control child. She just didn't let me get any where close to that point! And no that doesn't mean you have to beat your child and scream and yell at the top of your lungs. Just set the rules and live by them! Be consistent! That is that and that is that. And it will work!  |
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