Birthday Parties - should you hire a clown or other performer?
Aug 18 '01
The Bottom Line Plan your party carefully. Only hire performers you've seen before. And try to have fun!
~=~ Planning a Party ~=~
Maybe I'm the only parent who feels faint at the thought of planning a birthday party. Maybe, but I suspect there are other parents in the closet on this issue. Do your knees turn to jelly in the parking lot of the party supply store? Do you fret over your child's guest list? Do you get hives when trying to decide whether to bake or order a cake? You may be part of my "Children's Parties Make Me Queasy Club" (CPMMQC).
Why are some of us chicken? It seems there are a few possible pitfalls universal to young children's birthday parties. First, there's the issue of overstimulation. Children can become very overwhelmed when they are the center of attention. All the excitement can bring out the worst behaviors.
At playgrounds, when talk turns to birthday parties, most of the parents get a newlywed's glow on their faces as they talk about their child's special day. "Couldn't have been more perfect!" "Jenna was so excited!" "Bobby was never happier!" Huh? Are these the same parties I attended? Perhaps there's selective amnesia, kind of like "they" said there would be for the pain of childbirth. After all, I saw Bobby and Jenna* on their special days. Were those tears of joy when Jenna didn't have quite enough air for all 4 candles? Was the thrown truck at a friend's face Bobby's happiest moment ever?
Then there's the expense. My sons hang with some pretty affluent kids. I practice frugality for several reasons. (Reason #1. The visual image of me spending my retirement under a bridge with a bottle of hootch isn't a good look for me!) Some of the parents make it a point to do the grandest parties, topping the one before. I'm waiting for one of them to fly in the Cirque du Soleil for our personal entertainment. One of my son's first grade friends just had an all day party. It started with morning snack, games, gifts, and lunch at their house. Doesn't sound too extravagant, right? Then rented transportation took the kids to an amusement park for the afternoon. Then out to dinner. I kid you not. Kind of puts my son's first grade party in perspective. I covered the windows in my garage, got a college student to perform magic experiments, served cake and let the kids play in my back yard. Oops! Someone's frugality is showing.
Messages are important too. I think the "more is better" parents are trying to show their children that they love them so much, no expense will be spared. Obviously, my garage party was intended to give my son the message that although I care about him, I care about my comfy retirement more. Just kidding. Umm, err, really I was. The message I sent my son is that we love him and spend tons of time with him. How we spend our money is a reflection of our values. We'd rather give it away to someone who needs it than hire personal ponies for each birthday guest. Our family's lifestyle can stand a lot of improvement for being gentler on the planet. No point making it worse for a birthday celebration.
~=~ When's the Clown Part Coming? ~=~
Oh, that's right. In the title, I did promise advice on a clown. I'm getting to that part now. My oldest son isn't a character type of guy. At Disneyland, he avoids them. Never was a fan of the big rodent, Chucky Cheese, either. My youngest doesn't know a stranger regardless of how they dress. His main ambition in life is to become a WalMart greeter. At Disneyland, he squealed in delight for each character. Memo to readers: The line for Winnie the Pooh is longer than it looks.
Our friends had BJ the Clown for their daughter's 6th and 7th birthdays. Our son Jacob just loved him. He kept trying to hog the clown's attention, stood on his trunk to do tricks and talked about him for weeks afterward. So I wasn't completely shocked when I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday and he responded, "Have BJ at my house." Then he proceeded to tell everyone he met (including gas station attendants and grocery checkers) that BJ was coming to his house. I finally got the idea that I'd better call the clown. I felt comfortable in hiring him since we'd seen him perform twice. Don't make the mistake of hiring anyone you haven't seen in action.
Yikes! This clown is booked solid in the summer with corporate picnics. Apparently, I should have called before Jacob was born, using Miss Cleo to tell me his birthday in advance. The only time BJ had available was 11am on a Sunday. Coincidentally, it was also Jacob's birthday that day. Whew - a relief. Here's the second tip on hiring a performer - make sure they're available before your child gets excited. Can't remember my first tip? PAY attention, this will all be on the test. The first tip was to only hire someone you've seen before.
~=~ Careful Planning = Fun ~=~
Since the clown was coming at 11am, that meant I needed to serve lunch. What's the frugal way? Take & bake pizza at $4.99/large sounded reasonable. Chips in the giant CostCo bags and a watermelon rounded out our menu. For dessert, a sheet cake. Third tip - keep is simple. The younger the children, the simpler it should be. Kids love watermelon and it's great for outdoor parties. If you have pizza, have a cheese one for children "who don't like food on their food." (quoted from my son)
Goodie bags are a pet peeve of mine. Thoughtfully given by party hostesses and hosts, they then become items to clog my vacuum intake hose. And whistles? Who gave us those? Aren't I nuts enough already? In our home, we choose one larger item as a parting gift. My oldest son gave checkers sets last year. At $1.80 each, they were less than the typical goodie bags.
Our soon to be 4 year old chose giant play balls. They were on sale and economical. But I soon realized that it was tough to get 2 into a shopping cart, much less 10. And how would they fit in my econo car? Several gas wasting trips later, we had play balls for everyone. And the kids did seem to love them. As a precaution, I put my power window locks on for the rides home with the balls. Given my son's interest in lowering the windows, I thought it best to save fellow drivers the pile up resulting from giant play balls bouncing down the highway!
Before your party, make sure you've listed the food menu and that you have all items handy. That includes candles and matches. But not too handy. I always put the matches in my husband's pocket to prevent those exciting but disruptive fire engine appearances.
So the third tip is careful planning. But not rigid. After all, surprises happen. You want to be flexible enough to go with the flow. One year, I was carrying the perfect Batman cake to the table. One guest was particular about the piece of cake he wanted. To make his point, he grabbed the cardboard cake holder. We all watched in astonishment as the cake went flying through the air, landing icing side down on the carpet. Thanks to Adam's mom, we got usuable pieces of cake and served everyone. Memo about icing: Red is a very difficult color to remove from carpet, especially my rec center's carpet. We stayed flexible and still had a fun day.
~=~ Bottom Line ~=~
The younger the children, the simpler the party should be. Be careful of overstimulation, escalation with other parents and messages. If you hire an entertainer, make sure it's someone you've seen perform before. Take your child's temperament into account. Some children love characters, clowns and other entertainers. Others are fearful. If you have a shyer child, leave the clown to someone else's party. You don't want a birthday party to become fodder for years of therapy!
~=~ Jacob's 4th Party ~=~
Now that I've convinced you that I'm a reluctant but expert children's party planner, I'll bet you want to know how Jacob's 4th turned out. We had quite a mix of people as many of Jacob's friends are siblings of his older brother's friends. So we invited whole families. We had children ranging in age from 1-4 and 7. The adults age ranges are being kept confidential. Right on schedule at 11, BJ arrived. He is very low key and greeted guests who wanted to be greeted. Jacob and his friend Michael ran right up to BJ and hugged him. Jacob introduced BJ to his Dad. Then BJ set up his trunk on our back lawn. As guests continued to arrive, BJ talked to the children and did funny things with balloons. He fills them with air, doesn't tie them off, then hands them to a child to hold. Of course, they shoot through the air, whistling as the air escapes. The kids thought it was hysterical. Then BJ had three 7 year olds do the "chickens of doom" act. Each child holds a rubber chicken in the air and BJ throws a ring at the chicken. Somehow, the rings always land on a chicken. Amazing. He had the children stand on his trunk at first, then on the ground while he tossed 3 rings simultaneously. As the 7 year olds rejoined the circle on the grass, Jacob collected the chickens. He and two of his 3 year old friends walked up to BJ's trunk with the chickens. BJ was on to something else but remained flexible. When he saw they wanted to do chickens of doom, he did it for them. While standing on the trunk, one of the boys leaned into the other 2. They toppled off the trunk like dominoes. When they got back on, they toppled in the opposite direction. They did it a total of 4 times. If we got a good camera shot, you'll see us on America's Funniest Videos.
As for gifts, Jacob was semi-gracious on receiving his first Barbie from his friend Tess. He put both hands on top of his head and yelled, "Oh Brother!" Then he collected himself and said "Thank you." Whew! A fun time was had by all and even the adults enjoyed BJ. But a couple of them looked less pleased when they found out they were riding home with an 18" play ball...
* all names have been changed to protect me
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