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Was this what he was trying to do?Aug 07 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line The struggle of being a single parent or the parent of children from another marriage. Why does it have to be so hard? Is there a easy way?
Well I did what I thought I would not do! My previous epinion, (What is a girl to do) in the same category has all the details but basically I left my X due to a lack of any rules or respect when it came to his kids, just a short overview, but in our relationship and the relationship with my girls it was very good, so to say the least a difficult situation even for the best! So here I am and have given in to his calling and telling me he still cares and loves me but could not live with me due to his kids. What I mean by giving in is; I let him come over after many calls from him about a item of his that I had that he needed, so I found the item in a box and he said that he would come and get it if it was O.K.? So I said yes he could come over, well from there it was early evening and after talking for a couple hours it was decided by me that he could stay over, I was very mixed up and unsure but my feelings took over and there we were in bed. Now the hard part; not only was he very loving and tender he was also very sorry, (of course!) why couldn't he be sorry before? But everything was fine, we missed each other a lot but, in the morning I was left feeling very mixed up in my heart and my mind, I honestly feel that I love him and it was nice to have him with me because it felt nice to be close and my heart really missed him, but at the same time the boys were in the back of my mind all the time, all the suffering I had been through in the past, it all came right back to my mind. Later in the morning when my daughter arrived at home she came in and had a big smile on her face and was happy to see him and he was obviously having hurt feelings at the time so I asked both of them how they felt about seeing each other later on and my daughter said she missed him a lot and he said, that he almost cried because he missed her, being a single mom is so hard sometimes! How do you please everyone? Or do you worry about pleasing yourself? Back to the subject at hand; So there I was with the mixed feelings and him still at my house, he wanted to talk so we did he wanted to know if we could continue to see each other and remain exclusive to each other in the sex part of our relationship, to that I replied that I am not ready to go right back into a committed relationship of any type! As much as I do want or wish that everything could be good between us and me back in his arms, reality hit me hard, how long would it be before he would ask me to join him and his kids for a outing of some kind or another? Well then at that point I would be right back with the same problems staring me in the face and the same hurt feelings all over again, and is the good that we had really worth it if on the weekends that he had his kids I was totally miserable? Well not to me at least not now! You can not even begin to imagine how bad I want him to get the help that he needs about raising kids and be back in my life but, is that not something that he has to do on his own before we even try again? I think so! So again here I am in love with him all over again and at the same time I am so hopeful that he can get the help he needs on his own. He wants to keep seeing me and that does sound good to me sometimes but at the same time it scares me, do I listen to my daughter and her feelings? Well of course I do she is my daughter and although she has not said that she wants to go back and live at his house, seeing the hurt of missing him really hurt me! Do I listen to my heart? Do I listen to my horoscope? Do I listen to my scared side that the relationship will go right back to where it was? Or do I give in and try harder at the things that were bad? See how mixed up I am, it is so confusing! Why are relationships involving children from other marriages so hard? Why can it not be easier? It is like no challenge I have ever had in my whole life! Being a single parent is equally hard but not as hard as the other! Where I go from here I do not know but like my previous epinion I welcome any advice or constructive criticism! Thank you for your time, I know there are so many others out there with similar questions and concerns, I wish it were not so hard! Is this a test? Because everyone is always telling me that God would not give us any situation that we could not handle, but why does it seem that he does? If you truly love someone should you give your all to stay in a relationship with kids from another marriage? Because I really feel like I have tried my hardest! The only thing that I could do more would be completely give up my concerns on raising kids and ignore the way he raises his kids. I can not do that! Am I the one with the problem or is he? I wish I really knew the answer to that!  |
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