Chaos Aug 09 '01    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Books Irene Hunt - The Lottery Rose: A Novel From $6 John Steinbeck - East Of Eden From $7 The Bottom Line Suck it Nirav And now for a specially paid-for program by sslabs: So I guess it's time to get to it. This is not a helping hands write-off, nobody died, I'm not raising money for a cure, or a new TV. I don't want to celebrate national something or other day. It's not about raising the awareness of the plight of the endangered baby fruit flies or national give your secretary a hug day. This write-off has no real social value. It's all about having fun and running wild, and now that no money is paid for these kinds of epinions, there is no guilt (not that there were a bunch of guilty people running around mind you). Drum roll please. . . . This is the "Chaos" write-off. Name three things that you are sure to find at the epinions headquarters. Survey says! 1. A brand new Porsche convertible bought with my missing Eroyalties 2. A 20 ft. stack of our unanswered complaints. 3. A hit list of the top earning epinionators And three things you won't find there. Survey says! 1. Web designers 2. Network administrators 3. Peanut butter Right now, there are four choices to rate opinions with. NH, SH, H and VH. If I could add a fifth button it would be . . . . and it would . . . "Congratulations, you are a waste of my time" How many epinions writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None of us could do it. We never leave our computers. Who wants to be a millionaire, lightning round Put these events in proper chronological order and explain your reasoning. A. The US government finally discloses who shot JFK B. A man lands on Mars C. Boy bands are not popular D. Epinions gets the site running correctly and stops saying 'we apologize for the inconvenience' B,A,C,D - sslabs and I will launch to Mars, find out that a martian named Lou Perlman shot JFK, ruining democracy forever which allowed boy bands to become popular since we no longer have a say, and then we will find his boy band breeding ground where we will enroll, and sabotage the scheme by running him over with my wheelchair while Tony holds him down with the infamous profile gun. And choice D will never occur. If I could have a one night stand with any epinions writer and not get into any trouble as a result, it would definitely be I should probably refrain from answering, but how will I get in trouble? EricaAnn Gamblin is naughty - I can just tell she's experienced in the sack from her reviews. On a more serious note, I was told by her profile that she was recently diagnosed with cancer. Get well soon, and definately keep writing. But remember your health is always most important. Good luck to her. -----It's all about the music Flashback----- There is a boating accident in international waters. You look over the edge of your boat and you see Mariah Carey, Scary Spice, Britney Spears and Janet Jackson all trying desperately to stay afloat. You can only find two life preservers, who lives and who dies? Well, poor Marriah is as good as dead anyway with her recent depression. Scary Spice deserves to die after her participation in British pop's worst creation. If Britney and Janet would like to be my personal sex slaves, then I'll let them live. Otherwise, "you'll be swimming with the fishes, see". If all the advisors in the category of music and all the advisors in kids & family got into a bar fight, who would win and why? I'm not sure, but Barney probably throws a mean punch. You're at the dinner table with Nirav Tolia (the epinions big cheese). Do you A. kick him under the table. B. stab him in the hand as he passes you the butter. C. embarrass him by mentioning that bug ridden site you found called epinions D. simply ask him to pass the gravy and contain your rage, disappointment or other negative feelings. E. hug Nirav for creating epinions. F. punch Nirav for creating epinions. G. pretend Mr. Tolia isn't even there. H. other. H. I'd have a friendly little chat with the man, remind him that we're in control of this site and that if he doesn't start satisfying us with actual progress, I'll roll over his entire body with my 400lb Permobil as my fellow music advisors hold him down and kick him in the junk. After dinner I saved Nirav Tolia's life, and he gave me complete control over epinions for 24 hours. The very first thing I'm going to do is . . . I'd replace the home page with nude pictures of his wife. If writing opinions were an Olympic event, this one would take the gold for funniest opinion. PASS... too many contenders for that award. Humor is the only reason this site is still alive. If I could invite any writer to this write-off that was not originally invited by "sslabs" it would be Read LamboLucifer's work. Long live the Swami Circle of Cynics. Here is the official list of write-off participants: Katmar ArielsSong Shilmafone Gamblinfamily Christy13 Lightnin Mattjoe IleneG Pantera00d JennJoy Phineaskc Madtheory Sarah_Knipper Teddiec Divine_Cheese Tigerlily137 NoMttrWht ALawston Daniel_RF isinga Splitsurround ad-dollars redsox75 sumo_rhino psychovant repulsemonkey lambchops dchefsours Always disturbed, Metal Swami Steve Swami Circle of Cynics

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