Teaching them to put them away
Aug 09 '01
The Bottom Line Sometimes, it takes drastic steps to teach children to put their toys away. If we take a firm stance, the lesson can be learned swiftly.
One of the biggest challenges that I have had is to get my children to put their toys away in the proper place. I cannot count the times that I have gone in to kiss them good night and stepped on this or that toy. Sometimes breaking them or injuring my foot. I decided after requiring stitches for one such incident that I had had more than enough.
1) the situation.
I sat my oldest down and explained to her that her toys being left out like that was dangerous. It could cause someone to fall and get hurt or her toy to be destroyed. I told her that she would have to learn to put her toys up to prevent this from happening. I also explained to her the new rules that I was putting into place. The rule placed was simple. I would only tell her once to put the toy away, if she did not, she would loose it for a period of time that I determined.
2) Give them time to adjust to the rule.
I told her that she would have one week where I would remind her to put the toys up twice. After that week, the rules would go firmly into effect.
3) Do not back down.
Once you have placed the rule, do not back down from it. Children need consistency to learn the lessons and going back on your word will only confuse the child. Expect tears and pleas, but stay firm.
4) Be fair
Make it a reasonable amount of time that the toy is taken away. If you take it away for to long they will forget they had it and the punishment looses effect. I chose three days. Three chances. If I had to take a toy away more than three times, they lost it for good.
5) Praise them as they do well.
Remember, punishment is not the only way to teach a child lessons. As they learn and start putting the toys together, make sure to tell them how proud you are of them. Remark on how nice the room looks and that you know they are working hard. Children "love" attention, make sure that they get enough of the right kind.
6) Before the rule goes into effect, help your child clean up the room very well.
Make sure that the rules go into effect on a clean room. Make sure that every toy is in its place so that the child knows where it goes. We cannot expect them to just pick this up if the room is already a mess.
It worked well. I did have to take away three toys permanently but once she understood I meant what I said her room is cleaned up each night before she goes to bed. I have let her "re-earn" the toys she lost and we went out and got her new ones. It was a hard lesson but with persistence it stuck. Her room is not perfect and nor do I expect it to be but it doesn't look like a tornado dropped into it either. Remember the age of your child and keep the expectations reasonable to the age.
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DDemorest
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