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Who made the decision to cut your penis? (Reply to this comment)
by mcferguson
Circumcision is a medical scam done for profit. No one has the right to cut your healthy body without your approval. It's called genital mutilation when done to women. Oh, but it's just fine and dandy when it's a boy. Who cares?
When you learn more about what you have lost when they thoughtlessly amputated your foreskin for money, you will be angry. Damn angry.
It is a stupid and unkind thing to do to a newborn baby or anyone else for ANY reason. God/Nature gave us a foreskin for a reason. It HAS purpose. It acts as a gliding mechanism during sex. It prevents the irritating rubbing of your glans on your clothing all day long, and it keeps you warm. It is sensitive errogenous tissue which has thousands of nerves.
So, don't you dare let them cut your child to make a few hundred dollars off of you. Look around you. Most of the rest of the globe has long ago stopped this barbaric stupidity.
I for one am very angry that this was done to me when I was a little baby. And so I am restoring my foreskin. It is not as good as the real thing. But it is better than none at all.
Please don't do this to your innocent little baby boy. Don't hurt him when he is just brand new to the world and is healthy and happy. Foreskins HAVE a purpose. Learn about it. Please.
www.norm.org
www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/rest.html
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Jan 09 '04
7:25 pm PST
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tehe (Reply to this comment)
by adamsjill
Thanx. An informative and open-minded review, with lots of laughs thrown in!!!
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Jun 19 '03
6:34 pm PDT
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perfect (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Rich,
It's not often that I rate MH after having read only one review in such a popular category. It's not often that I Trust a member after having read only one of his/her posts. Score 2 for the RichMan. I laughed so hard, so often, that my well-cut schwonze ducked for cover (they say that intense excitement, other than the sexual variety, causes shrinkage).
I went to high school with a guy nicknamed "Three." Though his buddies must have gotten a close-up view of his crotchitles, I just took their word for it.
Even though you've rated many of my pieces, somehow I've stupidly managed to refrain from clicking on yer name. I will make this mistake no longer. Can't focking wait to read more.
-Sky
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Dec 15 '01
12:32 am PST
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I'd like to add ... (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
... that I'm somewhat of an expert here. I recall a night at work when a coworker followed me around all night explaining that HE was NOT circumcised and what advantages and disadvantages that had.
Apparently, it is risky. For hygenic reasons, he insists to wash the snake in the sink afterwards, and in public bathrooms, with some big beefy guy standing there watching him scrubbing it off in the sink, there have been plenty of threats of bodily harm...
Ah, how did he say it though with all his self-centered wit: "If God made man in his image, isn't circumcision like saying 'we need to make a little correction here'"
Needless to say, I try to stay out of the building at night when he's there... LOL!
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Sep 09 '01
4:06 am PDT
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I should have stuck with Barney reviews.... (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
"but you don’t see that much anymore now that my uncle, "Three Ball Louie" passed away"
Errrr... may I ask how often people did see "that" while uncle Louie was still around? And did the authorities ever step in? :-)
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Sep 09 '01
3:55 am PDT
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With a snip snip here, snip snip there... (Reply to this comment)
by WorkingMomof2
Geez louise, man, you could warn a gal. I was snickering while reading this but made the mistake of taking a big swig of Pepsi One right before I got to the self-inspection part.
Sorry to hear your gum wasn't minty fresh anymore. Think of it this way, though - you're up nineteen cents and we're all voting on new nicknames for the Mighty Anaconda :)
Sigh. You really need to put in a warning next time. I'm off to clean off my monitor now...
Amy
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Sep 04 '01
3:53 pm PDT
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Funny (Reply to this comment)
by AmyLEnsor
Quote: "Other cultures consider circumcision to be nothing more than gentile mutilation."
Funny, for many years circumcision was considered non-gentile mutilation. :P Sorry, couldn't resist.
Amy
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Sep 01 '01
10:05 pm PDT
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I'm with Nick, (Reply to this comment)
by theworm
there's certainly a place for you on Cable TV.
Thanks for a hysterically funny read!
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Aug 26 '01
5:52 am PDT
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You certainly have . . . (Reply to this comment)
by gungian
. . . the foreskin and aftskin down - from a nautically anatomically point of view.
The hard part - for those of us of the seafaring persuasion - is remembering which testicle is port and which is starboard.
[In true naval fashion, I painted one red and the other green.]
Great posting.
Write On!
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Aug 25 '01
4:43 am PDT
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hey, york... (Reply to this comment)
by jkkelley
...you are hilarious. I loved this review like I love all your stuff. I don't often enough take time to say it, but you truly kick serious butt.
jk
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Aug 23 '01
8:27 am PDT
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So many comments, so little space... (Reply to this comment)
by pogomom
Ah, the "Mighty Anaconda" aka "Peter the Pygmy Rattler" . . . we've never met but I know the type. (I guess it's all in the perspective, huh?)
Through reading this review I finally understand why Almond Joys have nuts and the more feminine Mounds don't. Thank you for this clarification; I will sleep better tonight knowing the gentiles have it all covered.
Hilarious, absolutely hilarious!
xoxox Helen
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Aug 21 '01
2:15 pm PDT
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Oy! (Reply to this comment)
by NFP
I was spraying soda out my ears from laughter. You really ought to syndicate this stuff...the problem is, who'd run it?
cheers,
nick
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Aug 19 '01
7:23 pm PDT
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Very Humorous (Reply to this comment)
by ceo
Very Humorous. I am glad to see someone not going freekazoid over this. Would be interesting to get your reaction to my opinion on this topic. All best regards. ceo.
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Aug 19 '01
2:51 pm PDT
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Mighty Anaconda!!!! (Reply to this comment)
by purrkitty
OMG where ya been all my life!!!
LOL
Hope you know I'm just "yankin your chain"
hehe
{=^.^=}
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Aug 19 '01
1:39 pm PDT
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The Unkindest Cut of All (Reply to this comment)
by nobody_knows
"It was this that convinced me to circumcise my son."
Wow. Er, OW! Maybe this would be a good time for your son to travel. A long long way away.
Rich, you have honed The Sense of the Ridiculous into a fine Fine Art! (btw - have you seen the parody of Martha Stewart's magazine hosting a Bris? It's a classic!)
Thanks for the fun, but no thanks on the gum,
Judy (I enjoy being a girl)
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Aug 19 '01
7:17 am PDT
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Oh my God..LOL (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
Just when I thought I was at a point where I could take a drink of my Coke without it mercilessly spraying out of my mouth, I came to the "mighty Anaconda" part. Now I think my monitor will never forgive me.
Benjamin "Danglin" Franklin, 'eh? Makes you wonder what kind of nicknames you could give George W. Bush...
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Aug 19 '01
6:41 am PDT
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Oh my God..LOL (Reply to this comment)
by flamepillar
Just when I thought I was at a point where I could take a drink of my Coke without it mercilessly spraying out of my mouth, I came to the "mighty Anaconda" part. Now I think my monitor will never forgive me.
Benjamin "Danglin" Franklin, 'eh? Makes you wonder what kind of nicknames you could give George W. Bush...
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Aug 19 '01
6:40 am PDT
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What a joy to read something on this topic that's not . . . (Reply to this comment)
by ed_grover
all overly serious, biased and uninformed. Your sense of humor (along with the pertinent facts) made this an enjoyable read. I can only wonder what you would do with a review on Baby Wipes.
Great fun and good advice. Everyone should really Lighten Up! a little bit.
Ed
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Aug 19 '01
6:01 am PDT
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Umm, (Reply to this comment)
by nwinston
don't forget to tape your son's procedure for future
party viewing! Great review. You touched
all the hard material.
Nancy
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Aug 18 '01
6:13 pm PDT
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Thanks for the laugh! (Reply to this comment)
by purplewiz
It was easy to rate this VH - not only did it address the issue, but when people are wrestling with difficult questions like this, sometimes they get too twisted up in the details and forget to take a deep breath and look at the big picture.
You paint a mighty funny big picture :-).
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Aug 18 '01
6:00 pm PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by DrFaustus
Thanks... I never expected that I could laugh so much over a discussion of circumcision.
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Aug 18 '01
4:43 pm PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by DrFaustus
Thanks... I never expected that I could laugh so much over a discussion of circumcision.
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Aug 18 '01
4:42 pm PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by DrFaustus
Thanks... I never expected that I could laugh so much over a discussion of circumcision.
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Aug 18 '01
4:40 pm PDT
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... (Reply to this comment)
by DrFaustus
Thanks... I never expected that I could laugh so much over a discussion of circumcision.
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Aug 18 '01
4:39 pm PDT
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Sorry For the Multiple Post... (Reply to this comment)
by legar
But computer glitches are why I've been gone! I tried to delete 2 of the duplicated comments, but the computer keeps freezing. Oh, well. You said three times as well as I could have anyway!
Leslie
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Aug 18 '01
4:33 pm PDT
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Rich? (Reply to this comment)
by Hypotenuse
I think you probably need to stock up on chains, a good length of rope, and probably a straight jacket before performing your son's operation. ;-)
Lynne
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Aug 18 '01
4:31 pm PDT
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Great writing..... (Reply to this comment)
by kamel622
...on a very *ahem* hard topic!! You made me laugh and managed to give your viewpoint while doing it. Great job!
Keep up the great writing....kath
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Aug 18 '01
4:29 pm PDT
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You really shouldn't ... (Reply to this comment)
by AdaDavis
spend so much time hanging out in the garden with zucchinis and cucumbers. You can get a complex.
Trust you to look at things from a whole 'nuther perspective. What fun!
Ada
(from Arkansas, the home of Little Willie Clinton)
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Aug 18 '01
4:20 pm PDT
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Hilarious as usual! (Reply to this comment)
by dantesguide
I thought I heard somewhere that some cultures save the foreskins for umbrella manufacturing, but I could be wrong. Hehe, I wish i could see the look on your sons' face:)
dantesguide
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Aug 18 '01
4:18 pm PDT
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Irreverence is a great gift... (Reply to this comment)
by legar
Especially when offered up by such a pro! Leslie (legar)
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Aug 18 '01
4:15 pm PDT
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