Road Kill on Memory Lane ... [Colossal Crush Write-Off] Aug 23 '01    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 Mai by Eri Sugai From $4 The Bottom Line If you can relate to the lyrics, then the song is complete. If it moves you, consider it a masterpiece. Regardless, never detach from the loving memories… Founded by epinions writer, Flamepillar, The Colossal Crush Write-Off is an excuse for epinioners to spend far too much time on Memory Lane. This Open Write-Off (meaning anyone can join in on the fun, by sending an email to the founder or participants) has become a quixotic opportunity for my heart to become road kill, once again. Being a helplessly hopeless romantic, I’m prone to wearing my heart on my sleeve, right next to all the poems I post there. The only further expression of my emotions is through music. So as not to pollute the air with my tone-deaf-ness, I usually play the same songs over and over and over again. That experience is what this Write-Off was about – at least for me. The majority of us remember the breakups equally, if not more than, the relationship’s euphoria. Call it baggage (as Erykah Badu did in her smash hit, Bag Lady) or just call it memories in the corner of your mind, regardless, love leaves a mark. Whether it’s a scar, frozen dear-eyes as love approaches you, or just the hint of butterfly kisses, we’re all looking to be bit by the love bug. Let’s reminisce about my bug bites: (1) ”Sweet Misery” by Amel Larrieux, Infinite Possibilities Song’s inspiration: Deloh With a hypnotic bassline, and fruitless emotion, Amel sings of desiring love despite destiny. Never overpowering, her voice seems to float through the pain and expresses the simplicity of love, even when it hurts. Although the entire ballad is a deliberate poetic movement, my personal Emotional Epiphany: Cause you reached in and stole my heart / And now I want it back / And I got misery / Cause I know loving you's a sin / You got me on my knees / Praying that I don't give in / Baby you and me / Never ever could have been/ So I got misery/ Because I'll love you till the end Connection: As Ziggy Marley once said, this brother had(has) “the power to move me”. The first time I ever, no holds bar – forget what anyone has to say about it, fell in [and more importantly, felt] love was with Deloh. As I get choked up, I must admit the heart of me will always love him. However, I believe the majority of my emotions stem from the repercussions of letting love go. I was so afraid of him offering exactly what I was looking for, that I ran; only to find myself more alone than when I began my journey. However, in the process I learned: the risk involved in NOT falling in love, will always be greater than any pain caused thereof. (2) ”Remember The Time” by Michael Jackson, Dangerous Song’s inspiration: Sean Michael Jackson’s pop hit symbolized, for him, his continued presence (on top of the charts). It’s basic, mid-tempo groove set the stage for cross over appeal to various cultures and generations. However, it's the epic-movie/video that locked it in our memories. Emotional Epiphany: Those sweet memories / Will always be dear to me/ and girl, not matter what was said / I will never forget what we had... Do you remember the time / when we fell in love Connection: Sean, my high school sweetheart, and I just knew we would always be together, although we constantly broke up. And at the age of 15, that is exactly what we were supposed to believe, in order for sappy songs like this to work. And that it did, for years after it’s release. Whenever we would break up, one of us would find songs to bond what was broken (such as Jodeci’s “Stay” or Brenda K. Starr’s “I Still Believe”), however, this was the song used the most, by far. (3) ”Rocket Love” by Stevie Wonder, Hotter Than July Song’s inspiration: Jaleel As the master of emotion, Stevie Wonder uses piano keys and a slight horn moan to present a symphony of sound beyond expression. He sings as if he’s in desperate search of his lost heart. He’s found the love of his life, yet doesn’t know why they aren't still in love. Emotional Epiphany: You took me riding in your rocket, gave me a star / But at a half a mile from heaven you dropped me back down to this cold, cold world Connection: Jaleel and I were best friends, who decided not to heed the ancient advice to use caution when falling for a friend. We knew the consequences, yet didn’t survive. And I choose to take the blame, solely because I’m a verbose woman who had deep feelings for a laconic man; and that for me was not enough. So after adding feelings, distance, and pride, all I had left was a long ride home from Philly, a dope classic album and crumpled Kleenex. (4) ”Me & Those Dreamin’ Eyes of Mine” by D’Angelo, Brown Sugar Song’s inspiration: Terrance “Me and Those Dreamin’ Eyes of Mine” is not only cleverly written, it’s smooth bass, reserved keys and strong background vocals make it hypnotic. D sings of unrequited love, with an innovative freshness that seems missing in the contemporary market. Emotional Epiphany: Is it just that you're the finest little thing that I ever saw / Or is my imagination runnin' too far / Or is it that my eyes are tellin' me something you could never see / Somethin' like me being with you / and you being with me Connection: I had the biggest crush on a friend of my sister’s. His name was Terrance and he was this sweet, hefty cutie with these gorgeous transparent green eyes. I have no idea why his eyes attracted me more than that of my best friend’s, who were similar, if not the same. It’s just that Terrance carried himself with hidden sex appeal. Ironically, he would tell me women did not find him attractive. And it would take everything in me to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want to tell him how I felt, because it really wasn’t based on anything, besides his looks. So instead, he would talk to me about music, and I would constantly refer him to D’Angelo’s debut masterpiece, figuring ‘one day he’ll get it’. Needless to say, he did. It was by another woman who saw everything I saw with one glance. (5) ”Up Around My Way” by Brian McKnight, I Remember You Song’s inspiration: Chris It’s not often that Brian ventures outside of mastered ballads, yet it’s a treat when he does. Here he added a hint of hip-hop, to his soft lyrics, and produces an alluring mid-tempo melody about persistently pursing a woman who’s caught his eye. Emotional Epiphany: Now looking in your eyes I see the real reason why stars like to fall from the sky... One kiss from your sweet sweet lips / Will have me doing cartwheels and flips / Kinda shy to say that I'm sweating you / Judging by the smile on your face / Says I'm getting through / No rush, come will the day / You come around my way Connection: Another unrequited love, I never had the guts to tell him, because, at the time, this romantic, gentle man was head over heels for a friend. Eventually, it became too much for me to watch him continuously get played by someone who didn’t share the same feelings. Before I got fed-up enough to tell him to get a grip, I moved away and choose not to stay in touch. Call it petty on my party, but after awhile, people have to learn their own lessons. Regardless of what I could say, it wouldn’t matter, until he changed either his heart or his mind; and I didn’t feel it was my duty to tell him when that time came. Consequently, I guess I’ll see him next lifetime. (6) ”Sweet Pain” by Cree Summer, Street Faerie Song’s inspiration: Yohannes If Lenny Kravitz was a woman, with wild orange hair, and a free-spirited, peace loving aura, his mother would have named him Cree Summer. With chunks of R&B, folk and alternative rock, this heartfelt poem is sung in a raspy/seductive voice. Emotional Epiphany: I’d gather up into the dust / Of all of your fears / and live in the corners of what you believe / I’d conjure up a second heart / To house your sweet pain / Love you so hard / Other folks won’t have to strain / to hear Connection: If someone you love doesn’t feel they are deserving of what you’re giving, they will never know how to except the invitation. Conjuring a second heart to accommodate their fears and insecurities sounds comforting, yet logically lonely. And although withdrawing an extended hand is painful, the act of extension is a sweet, sweet joy. (7) ”No Love” by Erykah Badu, Baduizm Song’s inspiration: James The drums lay the foundation of emotion for this song, and man is it heavy. Here Erykah explains breaking from a relationship that you know isn’t right for you, despite still being attracted to that person. Emotional Epiphany: When I first met you I could hardly see / But now I'm blind, for real / I wish you knew how to rescue me / From this misery / How can we make love when you don't love me? / You don’t show no love... Connection: My relationship with James would have been cool if I had no heart, but I do. And it’s best that I don’t make believe I don’t. So, fantasying we were in love, was just not in my vocabulary. And I surely don’t speak another language just so that someone will like me. (8) ”Young, Sad and Blue” by Lysette Titi Song’s inspiration: T-Ku Don’t let the title fool you. Young, Sad and Blue is gentle, realistic satire. Expressively sung at the front of soft, almost forgettable, guitar and keystokes, this marks a creative, yet overlooked effort from a One Single Susan. Emotional Epiphany: Your sex was just tactics for things you couldn’t do / And now that we’re not together / I don't have to fake it through … / I gotta say goodbye to all this pain / I hope I never see your face again / Because I’m young, sad and blue / cuz we’re through / And no one’s gunna want you boy Connection: T-Ku was the first man I remember having fun with. Whether it was an amusing date at Toys ‘R’ Us or the movies, T-Ku arrived with bells on, destined to laugh. However, when he reached into his bag(gage), he pulled out a cheating; the one thing that robbed our laughter. So without a whole bunch of drama, I packed my bags, climbed the nearest mountain and wrote about it, all the while Lysette sang her heart out in the background. (9) ”Let’s Chill” by Guy, The Future Song’s inspiration: Mike After a short hiatus, the R&B band, Guy, set out to expand their New Jack sound with the release of the album, The Future. With “Let’s Chill’s” soft vocals and slight synthesized sounds, heads turned. Emotional Epiphany: All my love is for you / Whatever you want I will do / You’re the only girl I want in my life / For you I’ll make that sacrifice / So, baby let’s chill / Let’s settle down Connection: Yet another flash back to high school, summons thoughts of Mike, my youthful pseudo-Eminem/Fred Durst. Picture a pretty fly [for a] white guy, dressed in a Public Enemy shirt, Raider’s jacket, Janet Jackson 1814 baseball cap and an Africa medallion holding hands with a black girl shamelessly rocking New Kids on the Block gear. Sore eyes for sight! We clashed; we knew it. It was just an outward expression of diversity. As was singing this song to each other. Shortly thereafter, he broke up with me (I wasn’t “black enough”) and settled for a “lighter” friend, while I stepped into the arms of Sean (mentioned above.) [FYI: I wasn’t playing NKOTB in his presence; Sean wasn’t having that!] (10) ”Love Rain” by Jill Scott, Who Is Jill Scott? Song’s inspiration: Marcel Somehow, the drums sound like they’re sprinkling; the baseline reverberates puddle splashes; yet it is the way Jill accessories the thin line between spoken word and vocals like a perfectly matched belt. Emotional Epiphany: Talked about Moses and Mumia... / Us was nice and warm … No jacket; no umbrella just warm … / Wide open wide … loose like bowels after collar greens … / The mistake was made / Love dripped from my lips / dripped down my chin and landed in his lap / The rain was fallin’ and I could not see / The seasons change / And the vibe slipping off it’s axis Connection: Often, when I talk to Marcel, it feels as if he’s know me for years. He says the same of me. Our conversation is usually “sweet like penny candies”, however, the vibe slipped after he flashed emotions. It wasn’t anything he did wrong; and I racked my brains to find where I errored. I’ve come up empty; the emptiness has been confirmed. Regardless, we’re still friends; I’m still confused; I’m still moving on. Perhaps him running is karma for my previous flight; but in the meantime, I’m chilling with my umbrella upside down… ”Love Rain down on me…” (11) ”Be Your Own” by Rebekah, Remember To Breathe Song’s inspiration: Randy For emphasis, I thought I’d add the overlooked, Rebekah. I would consider this Organic Folk. She mixes a number of genres, to express her sentiment with the help of a great guitar riff and a complimentary bass line. Emotional Epiphany: Saying sorry doesn’t cut it / I love you sounds nice, but it’s still wrong / And maybe / Baby stop trying to be my man / And start being your own / Then maybe we can get somewhere / Instead of going in circles / Just to end up right back here / Tired and with nothing but our good intentions Connection: If you discover the way you’re loving someone is uncomfortable, the answer may be stepping back until you learn how to love them better – even if such movement is awkward. If handled correctly, you’ll notice a welcome mat outside the cracked door. Looking back… I had issues. Man am I glad I’m changing... This write-off turned out to be, not only therapeutic, but also inspirational. We all need to learn to love better. And equally important, we all need to learn to be loved better. These encounters have made me who/what I am today. And for that I’m grateful. My off-key sing is simply expression of such gratitude. If you’re interested in singing off-key with the rest of the writers (flamepillar, GinaHill, AinsleyJo, Girl_Goddess, etc.) write and post your review, and then send me an email.

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